problem seems to get huger with dad

[U2_Refugee]

so me and my father dont get along. it upsets me yes but i realized ill never have a relationship with him. it sorta reminds me of bono and his father yet mines a bit more complicated.
my dads not even a good guy.
im always putting up with yelling and cursing.
i want a real dad whose there for me and will listen to my problems and be a friend to me at the same time
i recently found out that my dad smokes pot. i confronted my sister and she basicaly shut me out i am the oldest but i felt that she could be there for me she is 13...im 16... that night i criedmy eyes out my dad walked in and told me to relax and go to bed..didnt even come in to see what was wrong..just left me
i couldnt sleep at all i just cried and cried thinking wtf wtf wtf
my mom knows i know..shes a good person the only reason she is with him is because of money issues and we couldnt make it on our own.
i wish someone would adopt me. i really do..adam clayton?? lookin for a goodkid? hey then me edge can play guitar together! im jk..that would never happen..but ughhh
everythings just getting worse with him anytime hes nice to me is when he drinks

help
<3 and peace

 

[VertigoGal]

i'm sorry
i wish i could give you advice. it's really hard to just accept that a person isn't capable of being what you need or giving you what you deserve. especially when they're your parent.

try to remember you haven't caused or deserved any of it. and see if you can get out of the house when there's a pointless situation where you're just going to have to listen to constant verbal abuse.

i hope you feel a little better

 

[Carek1230]

You poor thing. A hug for you And know that there are a lot of us who understand and wish we could help you. I am sure your father and mother too both love and care for you. I wonder if perhaps a counselor at your school might be able to help you, just talking about things can really help a lot. Maybe a local Al-Anon or Children of Alcoholics might help too, they talk abotu dealing with issues where parents are hooked on drugs and alcohol and the associated problems in their behavior and within the family unit. Just remember it's not you.....and that you are a good person, so don't beat yourself up about it. When I was going through my teens I hated my parents both of them. They were both alcoholics and my dad was very verbally abusive and hit me around a lot. I rebelled in every way I could and wanted so badly to get out of my house so the first chance I had I was gone, married at age 19. I was married for 18 yeard then separated for 4 years and had a son. It wasn't until my son was born that my relationship with my parents completely changed, and I saw them in an entirely different light. So have some faith and hope that one day you can forgive your dad for the things that don't make you happy now....one day you two could be the best of friends. Good luck.

 

[JCOSTER]

I'm sorry for you problems, I haven't gotten along with my mother in the past but as we have grown older and matured it has gotten better. It's not all mushy or anything but we can be civil with each other and even have a good time. The only way I was able to deal with it was to talk to someone and get some kind of therapy. Maybe your school has someone you can talk too. It is really good to get another persepective from someone who isn't in the picture. Through therapy I learned to change myself and learn how to deal with her. She is by nature an extrememly difficult person and we are totally oppisites in everything. But by changing myself slowly I learned to deal with her. I know its hard but hang in there. If you need to talk further you can always PM me. I'm a 40 year old mom of 2 boys and I hope I don't have a bad relationship with them.

so me and my father dont get along. it upsets me yes but i realized ill never have a relationship with him. it sorta reminds me of bono and his father yet mines a bit more complicated.
my dads not even a good guy.
im always putting up with yelling and cursing.
i want a real dad whose there for me and will listen to my problems and be a friend to me at the same time
i recently found out that my dad smokes pot. i confronted my sister and she basicaly shut me out i am the oldest but i felt that she could be there for me she is 13...im 16... that night i criedmy eyes out my dad walked in and told me to relax and go to bed..didnt even come in to see what was wrong..just left me
i couldnt sleep at all i just cried and cried thinking wtf wtf wtf
my mom knows i know..shes a good person the only reason she is with him is because of money issues and we couldnt make it on our own.
i wish someone would adopt me. i really do..adam clayton?? lookin for a goodkid? hey then me edge can play guitar together! im jk..that would never happen..but ughhh
everythings just getting worse with him anytime hes nice to me is when he drinks

help
<3 and peace

 

[discothequeLP]

i'm sorry you're dad's like this, but it's too late for him to change, and it's useless to try to change him. just put up ith this shit for a couple more years, get into college, and move your ass out of that house asap.

 

[coemgen]

U2_Refugee — wow, I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this. I bet that's really tough. It sounds like you are a great kid with a lot of character. Keep walking the right path and you'll get through it. I'll definitely keep you, your family and of course, your dad, in my prayers. I would encourage you to pray too. It's gotten me through a lot of dark times.

As far as growing up with an absent or distant father, there's a book out that I've heard is really good on the subject. It's "To Own a Dragon," by Donald Miller. He's a brilliant, funny, insightful writer. I've read his other books, but not this one yet. It might be worth checking out.

God bless,

coemgen

 

[Carek1230]

I've heard about this book, great that you recommended it. Try Amazon.com or Overstock.com or even eBay to maybe get a cheap used copy....or better yet, perhaps your local library may have a copy you could check out!

 

[U2_Refugee]

thanks guys.. i think ill check out the book.
my dad doesnt really take the time out to get to know me either
i am a decent kid.i dont smoke or do drugs or anything of the sorty im actually the one who yells at their friends for doing it.
i love politics and i love classic rock...so its not like its hard to talk to me, i actually get along with older people better, he just doesnt care...but thank you all for your kind words...i do pray, im not sure if its helping but U2s music really comforts me the most

 

[VertigoGal]

i'm sure you're a great person, but anyway it's not any reflection on you whatsoever. i'm glad it sounds like you take care of yourself, that's a great thing. but seriously don't waste your time trying to be perfect, it only fucks you up in the end.

i'm glad you have some healthy ways of dealing with this. music is great...songs like Bad

good luck