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I just saw this thread and am outraged! It's abuse loud and clear, that is totally outragous! Even if your niece doesn't have a medical condition that would be unacceptalbe! I actually just helped a student on a 22 page paper on child abuse .....potty training is one of the major times in a childs life when abuse happens..this and feeding. I hope something is done about this..it's tough but children need our protection and we need to be their voices. I hope something is done before something worse happens next.
 
I was with my niece today, had lunch went shopping and we cam back to my house and watched a movie together. Everything is rather quiet right now, and she is doing well. She told me that we had a bad day because she wet her pants. I guess thats what her mother tells her, but I told her it didn't matter because anyday with her is a good day, and that we will do it again soon!

She was happy. :yes:
 
Its not a difficult decision JC. You just have to report these fuckers to the athourities or YOU are failing that poor child am afraid! Its no wonder she is wetting herself with fuckwits like that for parents, she has no confidence or self esteem. Am not a violent person, but i would happily knock both parents clean out....oh...and rub their face in the pee see how they like it. I am ripping having read this. PLEASE report them JC and give that kid a chance.
Without being melodramtic...it is blatant abuse.
 
Whoever made the point about low confidence and self esteem is right. The constant put downs are abuse just as well and can be just as damaging! Especially at this young age! And it is most certainly abuse! I fear for the child not only now, but later in life because of the possible damage that has been done already.
 
How incredibly sad. It angers me how potty training becomes a huge issue, and many parents think a child should come with an easy button and become magically potty trained overnight. Medical issues aside, some children simply cannot master bladder control as quickly as others. I had to hear an awful lot of crap, but after being goaded into pushing my first child into potty training and having a bad experience, I allowed my other two children to start when they were ready. It went so much better.

I understand how you feel and why you are reluctant to step in and do something about it, but better safe than sorry. If these people will admit to you that they snatch the child by the hair and rub her nose in urine, can you imagine what they might be keeping from you? It only takes one time for a heavy hand to result in broken limbs, brain damage, and even death. Should that ever happen, you're gonna beat yourself up for the rest of your life for not helping that child. Do you want her to grow up thinking that this kind of abuse is acceptable, thus treating her own children the same way? It's possible. What if she is continuing to urinate on herself out of sheer fear? Quite possible.

Be this child's voice. Help her to get the help she needs. Show her what unconditional love is, and let her know she's not a bad girl because she makes mistakes. She obviously needs someone she can trust. I'm sorry you've had to witness this, I can't imagine having to look at this little girl, knowing what she's going through. :(
 
Very true what you say, I do however see her alot, more like every other day. What they did was totally wrong and disgusting, but I want to clear up a fact that her nose wasn't pushed in it, her mom held her face very close to it. I still think it is disgusting and out of all the dogs I have owned never even did that to one of them. June 6th is her date with the doctor and then at least we will have some kind of confirmation on her situation. Thanks for your advice though I do appreciate it.
 
JCOSTER said:
but I want to clear up a fact that her nose wasn't pushed in it, her mom held her face very close to it.
Click to expand...

So I've been following this thread, and have thus far haven't had anything to add beyond what has been already said. I certainly understand how this can be a difficult situation for you to navigate and the complications of family and emotions.

But I just have to say, that this clarification, to me at least, is a complete nonissue. They were already well beyond the line of acceptability - the minute they grabbed her - well, really, the minute they punished her for something that is likely well beyond her control -but I won't get into that. I understand your need to somewhat defend them, but really what they did is horrible, whether her nose hit the carpet or not.

It's good that you're there for her, and I hope her doctors appointment goes well. But I also hope that should such incidents as these ever occur again, you will find the courage to step up and do what has to be done. What's scary though, is that next time, despite your careful & watchful eye, you might not even know and she might not tell you.

Wishing you and your niece the best. :hug:
 
JC, these early years are the times that form your neices character and can have life long impact. Please step in and give this child a voice and a decent chance in life
 
^ thanks guys for all your advice and kind words. It really means alot that I can get unbiased responses.

You will NEVER, NEVER believe this. My nieces appointment was today. I called and set please let me know what happens at the appointment. Well ofcourse I had to call them and low and behold my sis in law got the appointment wrong!!!! It wasn't today, it was Wednesday. Did I mention that my sis in law has a Masters degree. :der: In my first post, I had the corrrect date. Later on I asked again and she said the 6th.

Her new appointment is for the 11th of June.
 
^A parent at the school I student taught at got in very big trouble for doing the same exact thing. I'm talking social services, child protective services, etc. They called it negligence.

I'm sorry for being so negative. I hope something can be done in this situation because mom certainly seems to have better things to do with her life than care for her child.
 
^ Really, what kind of trouble and what happened to the child? Was the parent doing it all the time? I'm just curious.

I saw her today and she was a ok, no more incidences of the kind. Next week my niece is having her pre school moving up day. I bought her a beautiful summer dress and a webkin.
 
I have to ask - how can you be sure that nothing else has happened?
Are you sure they still don't verbally abuse her? Putting her down and stuff?
Have they revised the way they approach her accidents?

Just because she doesn't speak of it, or they don't do it in front of you now, doesn't mean it can't still happen.

Again though, I really think it's great she has you looking out for her.
 
JCOSTER said:
^ Really, what kind of trouble and what happened to the child? Was the parent doing it all the time? I'm just curious.

I saw her today and she was a ok, no more incidences of the kind. Next week my niece is having her pre school moving up day. I bought her a beautiful summer dress and a webkin.
Click to expand...

Hi Love,
I just wanted to add that making a report to child services doesn't always mean they take the child out of the home. In some cases they have someone who checks in periodically (un-announced in most cases) on behalf of the child.
This could be the wake up call that is needed to make sure the child is not being subjected to abuse behind closed doors. The doc's apt is important but don't expect anything to come out of that unless there are marks or bruises, or an actual bladder problem.
Sometimes the doc's will report if there is a problem and no physical evidence to prove it, but not if the parent isn't truthful about her wetting problem.
You know they aren't going to say what's been done to her and may even not mention how serious the potty problem is.
Just keep this in mind.
Let us know what the doc says on Wed.
If the sis in law say's nothing is wrong, then it's not physical..its emotional.
Then you must talk to someone at child services and see what can be done.

I hope she has a wonderful moving up day. She deserves something that makes her feel better about herself. You are doing that for her.
Stay close to her. I know you will. She needs you. :heart:

Edited to add: A quick google search and I saw this:
http://www.lawyersforchildrenamerica.org/matriarch/default.asp
Maybe this group can give you some anonymous information.
 
Gosh - this is just so awful, i feel really sorry for you and your little Niece, what a shit position this has put you in. i agree totally with what sue4u2 has said - my best friend works for DOCS (department of children's services) and the last thing they usually want to do is to remove the child from her parents, they may be able to organise someone to call around and moniter both parents and child.
I really hope this all works out for your family, let us know what happens :hug:
 
~BrightestStar~ said:
I have to ask - how can you be sure that nothing else has happened?
Are you sure they still don't verbally abuse her? Putting her down and stuff?
Have they revised the way they approach her accidents?

Just because she doesn't speak of it, or they don't do it in front of you now, doesn't mean it can't still happen.

Again though, I really think it's great she has you looking out for her.
Click to expand...

I've been trying to look out for her. I used to call before I dropped by for a visit, but now I don't.

Also when I'm alone with her I question her non chalantly about certain things.

I actually haven't heard my sis in law put her down in awhile so hopefully that is subsiding.

As far as the accidents go, I think my sis in law has been more patient with her.

I went to her moving up ceremony today and she was so happy that I was there and my parents.

I always tell her I love her and if she needs me I'm 5 minutes away. (thats true, we live really close to each other.)
 
Me too.

She didn't get to the urologist because she was sick and had a temperature. I think she may have caught it from me.:doh: They wouldn't see her with a temperature so once again its rescheduled.
 
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