perfectionists

[VertigoGal]

I am a perfectionist. Grades, sports, appearance, social life- I can't stand the thought of not succeeding at anything. I don't think grades are the most important thing ever and I don't spend hours studying...yet I secretly stress over B's. (on tests I mean...I would never let my actual average fall below a solid A ) I claim I don't give a shit about a class and really don't study...but I always end up freaking out at the prospect of doing less than great, and cram like hell at the last minute. In sports I always feel the need to be the best- it's hard for me to accept the possibility of doing a sport for friends and staying in shape and having fun. Even though that's what I claim to be doing this year, I secretly neeeeed to be the best or I will just suck. I'm not vain or materialistic and I don't hang out with judgemental groups where it's all about looks, so it's not about that...but I still stress out about my appearance (face + body) being perfect. I have good friends but still agonize over whether my social life lives up to what it should be at my age.

etc etc etc

so I'm sure there are lots of other perfectionist types here. confess now...and we can have a support group and shit

 

[Angela Harlem]

I am similar. Mine is absolutely inward only, though. I dont project any of my numerous issues onto others. If I was a calculator, my screen would read: -E-

 

[tpsreports2424]

My mom is a TOTAL perfectionist...I get a lil from her...

 

[Varitek]

I was like this in high school with work, up until I burned out at the end, and it got me into a great school, but I still haven't totally recovered from the burnout, which is sad because I know I could be getting more out of my time in college.

anyway that was a run-on sentence.

 

[youtooellen]

haha VG.. oh dear. perfectionists.

I'm an inward perfectionist. things bother the heck outta me if things aren't functioning correctly or if my grades aren't exactly... right.
but for me, I consider my perfectionist personality more of a mental thing. it kind of goes into tangents with my morals and my effort. also karma. haha... actually.. now that I'm elaborating on this thought, I'm realizing that it might not be a perfectionist type of thing.

nah, but I know what you mean. just... be careful about burning out. you may be a perfectionist now... but sometime in the future something's gotta give. be prepared for the collapsing of the four ever-so-perfect walls around you because once they're down, perfection will literally be the most difficult thing to strive for. (I'm not trying to sound like I've experienced life for a billion years.. but I've seen one of my closest friends, who was outwardly perfect, pretty much burn out.. and we haven't been friends for two years now )

but sometimes, being a perfectionist has it's benefits..... ...

 

[BonosSaint]

Recovering perfectionist. I was never going to perfect, so I learned to settle for good enough.

 

[redkat]

Recovering perfectionist. I was never going to perfect, so I learned to settle for good enough.

Same here. I'm so far from perfect at this point there is no use. Getting a B makes me absolutely sick inside though. Currently looking at how crap my Christmas tree looks I'll simply stay out of the living room. Though I'm tempted to throw the thing in the garbage

 

[Laura M]

The only time I have been really bothered by grades and felt like a failure was when I did maths at school. We were seated acording to our grades and every year I was the lowest in the class or in the bottom 5 or 6 people, until my third year when I actually managed to make it into the 2nd last row of the classroom.

I'm probably too lazy to be a perfectionist.

 

[U2Girl1978]

I'm a perfectionist when it comes to school but it has really taken a toll on me this semester. I am so exhausted that I don't want to leave the house.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Perfectionist reporting for duty.

I can't stand it if my apartment isn't clean - if it's not (to my standards, anyway) I will clean it from top to bottom, it doesn't even matter if I just cleaned it, I have to do it again. I know I'm going to stress over grades once I start school again in a few weeks. I stress over the slightest things being perfect - I guess I fluctuate between perfectionist and plain old obsessive compulsive.

 

[maro_chik]

I am a perfectionist in every aspect - school especially.

I had a pretty heavy burnout earlier this year, both mentally and physically, and I'm now trying to deal with my perfectionist, all-or-nothing, people-pleasing attitudes (among other things) with my therapist.

 

[Doozer61]

Perfectionism leads to Procrastination which leads to Paralyzation


This is the mantra I repeat in my head when I can not grasp a project because I want it to be perfect the first time.

 

[UberBeaver]

I was once told that I am happy with mediocrity, and for the most part, I am. But as I'm getting older I'm making more of a conscious effort to get things done right. Though perfectionism, to me, just seems like a waste of time.

 

[the rockin edge]

my mom is a perfectionist, as are some others in my close family. weird though, others are the opposite. i think i'm somewhere in between. i don't typically obsess about most stuff being perfect, but what can get to me is when i really attempt to do something perfectly and end up sucking at it. i can generally live with it now though and move on.

when people seem disappointed or look down on what i do (or what i don't do), what i've done job/school/money wise or whatever. that's what kills me, even though i know it shouldn't, even if i'm perfectly happy with whatever i do/dont do they seem to find outrageously bad/not up to their standards.

 

[*Ally*]

perfectionist here! i've definitely always been a perfectionist, especially when it comes to schoolwork, appearance and my relationships with others. however, as i've gotten older (late 20s) i've become more laid-back and accepting of my flaws- i guess one of the benefits of aging is gaining a bit of perspective...

 

[VintagePunk]

My honours thesis title:

Perfectionism as a Mediator or Moderator of Adult Attachment and Depression

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

let's not even start...

when i tell people that even at a young age, like 3rd/4th grade, that i was identified as having "perfectionist like qualities," they don't believe me, 'cause most people don't fully understand what perfectionism really means. just because someone seems to be very organized and wants to succeed in their life doesn't make htem a perfectionist. there are certain things that i do that are perfect down to the very last intricate detail, and then there are other areas that are such a mess that you'd never think it was the same person. the "all or none" aspect of perfectionism tends to be the overwellming quality... if it can't be done perfect, why do it at all?

a list of the negative consequences of perfectionism reads like a description of my life.

 

[Varitek]

Perfectionism leads to Procrastination which leads to Paralyzation


This is the mantra I repeat in my head when I can not grasp a project because I want it to be perfect the first time.

HAha for me it just goes "Perfectionism leads to Procrastination leads to oh shit my paper's due in 3 hours and I haven't written a word."

 

[VertigoGal]

just because someone seems to be very organized and wants to succeed in their life doesn't make htem a perfectionist. there are certain things that i do that are perfect down to the very last intricate detail, and then there are other areas that are such a mess that you'd never think it was the same person. the "all or none" aspect of perfectionism tends to be the overwellming quality... if it can't be done perfect, why do it at all?

yeah it's not exactly the same as just being an "overachiever" or something.

sometimes i think aspects of my perfectionism border on mild OCD but hopefully not too much.


for me it's like...Perfectionism lead to procrastination leads to self-hate leads to more perfectionism.

such a sad story.

 

[~BrightestStar~]

HAha for me it just goes "Perfectionism leads to Procrastination leads to oh shit my paper's due in 3 hours and I haven't written a word."

omg, that's me *right* now...and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.



Ok, it's not due in three hours, it's due at noon. But same difference. It's 1am and I'd rather be in bed.


So, uhh....add me to the club.

 

[JCOSTER]

Hi...my name is JC & I am a perfectionist....everything should be just soooooooooo.




Its just my own little OCD, I don't nag others about things.

 

[absintheminded]

I'm a perfectionist at procrastination and my perfectionist mother drove me so insane that now we're estranged.

 

[Got Philk?]

I don't know how I missed this thread.

You know where I have found that I'm a perfectionist is when I play sports. Like basketball, if I miss a shot or make a bad pass, I get mad. Even when I see that others do it, it doesn't matter...I SHOULDN'T EVER!!

But I'm certainly not a perfectionist with keeping things tidy or orderly. noooooooo sir.

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

*waves perfectionist sign* Oh heck yeah I am! I think I'm slightly OCD too...not much, but a little. My friends worry about me a lot...hahaha

 

[Bono's shades]

When I was still in school I was fine with getting a B, but I would get extremely upset on the rare occasions when I got a C. I also tend to get a bit cranky if things don't go exactly as I planned them. My boss even brought this up in my last performance review at work.

But my apartment is usually a shambles and I can get a stain or rip in my clothes and not even notice when I put them on in the morning, so go figure.

 

[VertigoGal]

*waves perfectionist sign* Oh heck yeah I am! I think I'm slightly OCD too...not much, but a little. My friends worry about me a lot...hahaha

yeah I'm sort of OCD too...it was worse when I was younger. I used to have that whole thing where if I so much as stubbed my right toe I'd have to do it to the left toe or I would go insane.



my friends think it's funny to mess with my lingering OCD