Now that i'm in college...

[Moonlit_Angel]

Some good advice shared in here, a lot of which I'll keep in mind, too, as I'm going to start attending classes at the local college here within this next week or so.

But from my experience I had in high school, I'd agree with those talking about joining clubs and such. I joined some groups for things that interested me in high school, and met my first boyfriend, as well as a guy I had a crush on, that way (those groups being a poetry one-coffeehouses can be nice places to meet some cool guys, too, let me just add -and an acting one).

And regarding the alcohol thing, I personally have no desire to bother with the stuff, but if others do, as long as they're responsible about it...*Shrugs*. I don't know if our college here is a "dry" or "wet" one. I haven't lived in this town very long, and haven't heard stories either way. Guess I'll find out once I go, huh?

Angela

 

[anitram]

How is a dry campus enforced? I mean, I understand they have the right to not host pubs on college property or otherwise sell alcohol, but what do they do, inspect individual belongings brought on campus? Is it really that difficult to bring a six-pack in?

I'm not one for getting tanked, but I'd almost think that the fact something isn't allowed would make it the forbidden fruit. God knows that with many kids that age, if you tell them one thing they'll do the complete opposite just in spite. Maybe I'm wrong and everybody who attends these schools goes there specifically because they don't want boozehounds passing out half naked in the hall, but I'd think that it goes on nonetheless in some capacity at least.

As for U2democrat's original question - I think also as you go on to upper year classes, they will be smaller and they'll also be populated with more like minded people. For example, many courses I had to take in first year were really not what I was interested in, but I had to complete them for requirement's sake. But later on, the courses I chose were largely things I was interested in, so the people I met, who were my lab partners and so on, shared that. You are into politics, so chances are you'll study something in that vein and later on you'll probably meet more and more people with similar interests and longterm goals past the 4 year degree. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that as time goes on and you get more and more into what you want to be doing, you'll be surrounded by a greater percentage of people you'll have tons in common with.

And I'll give one more piece of advice even though it's gonna make me sound really old (well, I'm old compared to you, LOL!): be choosy, never settle. I know it's tempting just to go out and grab anything with a Y chromosome, but remember, if you expect the bare minimum of yourself, you will get the bare minimum in return. You're a really smart girl, you're capable, and you deserve somebody who is equally as wonderful. Don't let anybody ever convince you otherwise.

 

[U2democrat]

I met a potential guy tonight. He's in the young dems, we raced down one of those inflatable slide thingies. He's obviously an upperclassman...but there's no harm in making some sort of a bond. I look forward to seeing him at the first YD meeting .

 

[Liesje]

How is a dry campus enforced? I mean, I understand they have the right to not host pubs on college property or otherwise sell alcohol, but what do they do, inspect individual belongings brought on campus? Is it really that difficult to bring a six-pack in?

I go to a private school so they can make any rules they want. It's enforced by the RAs and Housing dept. staff. They don't do searches or stuff like that, but kids who are dumb enough to want to hang out drinking in a dorm room are generally dumb enough to act, look, and smell drunk. I guess a dry campus makes sense when you require everyone to live on-campus for the first two years. That means everyone in the dorms besides the RAs are 17-20 years old and can't legally drink anywhere anyway. If you are older than 21, you don't have to live on-campus, regardless of your class year. If you get caught drinking or w/ alcohol on-campus, you get a write-up by Res Life (I guess a certain amount = suspension) and have to go to one of those classes like you do if you get caught by the police drinking underage in any other situation.

 

[U2democrat]

To answer how a dry campus is enforced:

There's an RA (residence assistant) on each hall, and if they hear obvious partying, or in an inspection see alcohol, or if cleaning people find alcoholic bottles and cans in the trash room they can report it. If you're caught you're immediately suspended. It's harsh. Most people that come here know of this policy and aren't really big party people anyway. It's a small school, 5,000 students, so it's not that hard to enforce. Obviously you can't stop every single person from drinking...but they do a good job anyway.

 

[anitram]

That means everyone in the dorms besides the RAs are 17-20 years old and can't legally drink anywhere anyway.

Ah okay, you know that makes a lot more sense to me, because our legal drinking age in Canada is different so by the time you enter university, you are more than likely to be legal anyway.

 

[For Honor]

To answer how a dry campus is enforced:

There's an RA (residence assistant) on each hall, and if they hear obvious partying, or in an inspection see alcohol, or if cleaning people find alcoholic bottles and cans in the trash room they can report it. If you're caught you're immediately suspended. It's harsh. Most people that come here know of this policy and aren't really big party people anyway. It's a small school, 5,000 students, so it's not that hard to enforce. Obviously you can't stop every single person from drinking...but they do a good job anyway.

Hmm.... I'm thinking about being an RA when I get the chance. I could be a good, sensative hardass about things... But it has intrigued me. I don't drink, and I don't think I'm going to start


And whoever said that people who worship alcohal is a load of bullshit...... well....

I agree.

 

[Bonochick]

My RA hated me. She would always bitch at me to turn my U2 music down, but the other girls could blast their crap music, since my RA liked that music.

 

[sulawesigirl4]

My advice is to forget about finding a man and just focus on your studies. Chances are, you are paying a lot of money for the privelege of going to school...it would be a shame not to get your money's worth. If you happen to find a good match, that's great, but there's also plenty of time for that later. Also, the person you are today is probably not the same person you will be in four years.

And don't agonize over the kissing thing. Heck, I didn't have my first kiss till I was...what...23? Old! But it was worth waiting for.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

My advice is to forget about finding a man and just focus on your studies. Chances are, you are paying a lot of money for the privelege of going to school...it would be a shame not to get your money's worth. If you happen to find a good match, that's great, but there's also plenty of time for that later. Also, the person you are today is probably not the same person you will be in four years.

I agree w/ that. I was completely focused on my studies in college, I just couldn't justify not being w/ the money I was paying, and my parents were paying. Save for the few guys I would meet in class, there just wasn't anything worthwhile Sure it got lonely, but that's life sometimes

Of course I commuted so that's entirely different.

 

[U2democrat]

what? focus on studies? now why in the world would i want to do that?


Of course that is my #1 priority...guys take a far backseat to my classes.

 

[BluRmGrl]

...There is a guy who looks exactly like baby bono but he's kind of a jerk.

Laura, you know what struck me as funny about this comment? I can EASILY imagine that's what a lot of people (probably including Ali!!) thought about the actual Baby Bono.

And to speak from personal experience, Mr. Blu had to beg me to go out with him for a year because I thought he was nothing but trouble. This November 23rd will be 17yrs since our first date & we'll celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in February. Just goes to prove that although sometimes a jerk is just a jerk, our "women's intuition" isn't always right & if we listened to it, we'd miss out on a great thing.

What I'm trying to say is that you may feel like some kind of social leper because now you're in college & you've never had a 'relationship'. But you're no leper - you just have standards. And so long as you stay true to them, you'll never have regrets.

 

[U2democrat]

Thanks for that

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I agree completely, you must stay true to your standards

Guys are idiots if they can't see your wonderful qualities

 

[U2democrat]

I have no desire to lower my standards...never have, never will.

Edited to add: I'm not that desperate!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I didn't mean to imply that you're desperate, please don't take it that way

Too many women lower their standards just because they can't/don't want to be w/ out a boyfriend

 

[DrTeeth]

Too many women lower their standards just because they can't/don't want to be w/ out a boyfriend

Please don't ruin the only way for guys like me to get a date.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I have no desire to lower my standards...never have, never will.

Edited to add: I'm not that desperate!

Oh, pfft, Laura.


to all women who refuse to lower their standards.


*counts herself as one of them*

 

[meegannie]

How is a dry campus enforced? I mean, I understand they have the right to not host pubs on college property or otherwise sell alcohol, but what do they do, inspect individual belongings brought on campus? Is it really that difficult to bring a six-pack in?

My undergraduate university was a dry campus (in a dry county). They did weekly room searches and locked the doors to the dorms at midnight (I think...can't really remember) and campus security had to administer breathalyzer tests to anyone who wanted to be let into the dorm after that point. Like LivLuv we were required to live on campus for the first two years, but even off-campus parties were broken up by the police for ID checks. The police patrolled the streets as well, and I knew several people who were arrested for public intoxication while they were walking home from a party. Drunk driving was a big problem because of that; people felt they were less likely to get arrested if they just drove home than if they tried to walk.

 

[U2democrat]

I didn't mean to imply that you're desperate, please don't take it that way

Too many women lower their standards just because they can't/don't want to be w/ out a boyfriend

i know you didn't imply that...i was just stating the truth.

 

[financeguy]

My undergraduate university was a dry campus (in a dry county). They did weekly room searches and locked the doors to the dorms at midnight (I think...can't really remember) and campus security had to administer breathalyzer tests to anyone who wanted to be let into the dorm after that point. Like LivLuv we were required to live on campus for the first two years, but even off-campus parties were broken up by the police for ID checks. The police patrolled the streets as well, and I knew several people who were arrested for public intoxication while they were walking home from a party. Drunk driving was a big problem because of that; people felt they were less likely to get arrested if they just drove home than if they tried to walk.

I'm confused. Did you go to college in the US? Your location says England but I have never heard of dry campuses in the UK.

You know (and apologies to U2 Democrat as it's off topic) reading some of the comments in the thread, I have to admit to a sense of bafflement at certain aspects of American culture. At 18 you can serve in the Army, fight and die for your country, vote in elections, get married, smoke cigarettes, eat 10 hamburgers a day, legally own a firearm (I think?), have an abortion, but commit the unforgivable crime of drinking a beer? Hell no! I wonder does this genuinely promote a sensible attitude to alcohol.

 

[U2democrat]

financeguy...you should start a thread in FYM about the drinking age here...it is utterly ridiculous for the exact reasons you stated, IMO.

but we'll save the discussion for another thread

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

You know (and apologies to U2 Democrat as it's off topic) reading some of the comments in the thread, I have to admit to a sense of bafflement at certain aspects of American culture. At 18 you can serve in the Army, fight and die for your country, vote in elections, get married, legally own a firearm (I think?), have an abortion, but commit the unforgivable crime of drinking a beer?

Heh, I live in America and am just as baffled by that as you are. It really doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it?

*Has no desire to lower her standards in regards to guys, too, by the way *

Noticed you said you met a guy you thought was interesting, U2democrat.... Good to hear it .

Angela

 

[financeguy]

but we'll save the discussion for another thread

Yeah you're right.

 

[meegannie]

I'm confused. Did you go to college in the US? Your location says England but I have never heard of dry campuses in the UK.

I'm American, but live in England. I really couldn't see a dry campus being very successful here either!

 

[financeguy]

I'm American, but live in England.

Ok, I understand now.

 

[U2@NYC]

All you would have to do is post your phone number in Interference... your cell will explode with invitations for dates

 

[odowdpa]

wow. all i can say is wow. college is not just about putting your nose in the books and getting good marks, its also about finding yourself. (I don't think you can achieve this as well if you commute, but thats just me.)

you should join a lot of clubs but you should also go to parties (yes, even parties with *gasp* alcohol being served.) And you should meet as many people as you can. sounds like there are a lot of sheltered peeps here (not meaning to criticize.) If you advise this girl to just see one side of the university, then you are going to totally ostracize her from the other half.

I would say a majority of the people you will meet over the next four years (if not this year) will being going to drinking parties. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, remember. My advice to you is to just let things flow and don't limit yourself. e.g. I'm not going to go to these types of parties which translates into 'I'm not going to hang with these types of people. Just have fun and be free. If the friends you meet during your frosh year want to go to a party on Friday night, what will you tell them? Just have fun. Remember, you don't have to drink at these parties.

(note: I graduated from an east-coast school with a similar size three years ago)

Also, want to make a bet the Young Democrats Club throw a house party at least once this year that will include *gasp* beer? Will you go?

 

[anitram]

Where do you see 'sheltered peeps'?

I see more than a few of us wondering about this dry campus thing (frankly I find it bizarre, insular and not a good indication of real life, but that is just my opinion).

U2dem knows herself best and knows what she would like. It's up to her what kind of people she wants to befriend and hang out with.

I never would have applied to this kind of school because to me it implies a student body which likely leans a way that I don't. But it is irrelevant whether or not I'd have gone there or you would. That's our choice to make. U2dem picked the best school for her, and if she doesn't think that going to drinking parties on a weekly basis is the apex of her existence, then hell yeah, she's right to think it. Nobody's stopping you from still attending them.

 

[bsp77]

wow. all i can say is wow. college is not just about putting your nose in the books and getting good marks, its also about finding yourself. (I don't think you can achieve this as well if you commute, but thats just me.)

you should join a lot of clubs but you should also go to parties (yes, even parties with *gasp* alcohol being served.) And you should meet as many people as you can. sounds like there are a lot of sheltered peeps here (not meaning to criticize.) If you advise this girl to just see one side of the university, then you are going to totally ostracize her from the other half.

I would say a majority of the people you will meet over the next four years (if not this year) will being going to drinking parties. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, remember. My advice to you is to just let things flow and don't limit yourself. e.g. I'm not going to go to these types of parties which translates into 'I'm not going to hang with these types of people. Just have fun and be free. If the friends you meet during your frosh year want to go to a party on Friday night, what will you tell them? Just have fun. Remember, you don't have to drink at these parties.

(note: I graduated from an east-coast school with a similar size three years ago)

Also, want to make a bet the Young Democrats Club throw a house party at least once this year that will include *gasp* beer? Will you go?

You definitely should not change who you are, but you shouldn't limit yourself so much.

Classes and studying are a very small part of what you learn in college. Here is what I think you learn:

Book smarts: which you get from classes

Preparing for a career: from classes and from socializing. In the business world you have to know how to properly socialize with all types of people. True in the political arena as well.

Life experience: NOT from classes or studying

And, finally, just have fun