OK, here it goes...
My life has been an emotional rollercoaster since Christmas, to say the least. At that time my father was diagnosed with a malicious brain tumor, called glioblastoma multiforme. It is malignant, of course. He underwent surgery after New Year's to remove as much as possible, then did the routine radiation and chemotherapy.
Now, he has been lying in a hospital for the last month...with a HUGE load of complications, all due to the toxicity of the chemo. He was so ill that he almost died 3 weeks ago. You name it, he's had it - severe pneumonia, bladder and urinary tract infections, clots which cut off the circulation to his feet and are only now beginning to heal, an airborne form of herpes which left very painful sores on his mouth, trouble swallowing, etc. etc. etc. He is either in pain or totally out of it from the pain meds. Now, he is having an MRI to see if the tumor is still doing anything, since he will probably not be able to have any cancer treatment again. We have no idea what is in store for him.
My younger sister (she's 19, I'm almost 21) has really been a right witch through all of this, to say the least. She has a mean streak a mile wide, she is one of those people with whom you have to tread lightly with anything you say to her. Last week, she said she had a sore throat, which meant that she could not come to the hospital. But she still found her way out to party every night with her friends (whom my parents do not approve of, but that's another story.) She doesn't even help me take care of the house, since my mother is staying at the hospital. It's like she doesn't care...my father has been asking for her and wondering where she is; it's heartbreaking.
I hate her. I try to avoid her as much as I possibly can. I know we should stick together as a family through all of this, but how can you be emotionally attached to someone who doesn't even show you (or my father) any concern or love in return? That's why I feel guilty. She is like a porcupine - you try to get close and you get pricked.
I come from a strong Catholic family, but even God doesn't seem to be doing much to help us out lately.
My life has been an emotional rollercoaster since Christmas, to say the least. At that time my father was diagnosed with a malicious brain tumor, called glioblastoma multiforme. It is malignant, of course. He underwent surgery after New Year's to remove as much as possible, then did the routine radiation and chemotherapy.
Now, he has been lying in a hospital for the last month...with a HUGE load of complications, all due to the toxicity of the chemo. He was so ill that he almost died 3 weeks ago. You name it, he's had it - severe pneumonia, bladder and urinary tract infections, clots which cut off the circulation to his feet and are only now beginning to heal, an airborne form of herpes which left very painful sores on his mouth, trouble swallowing, etc. etc. etc. He is either in pain or totally out of it from the pain meds. Now, he is having an MRI to see if the tumor is still doing anything, since he will probably not be able to have any cancer treatment again. We have no idea what is in store for him.
My younger sister (she's 19, I'm almost 21) has really been a right witch through all of this, to say the least. She has a mean streak a mile wide, she is one of those people with whom you have to tread lightly with anything you say to her. Last week, she said she had a sore throat, which meant that she could not come to the hospital. But she still found her way out to party every night with her friends (whom my parents do not approve of, but that's another story.) She doesn't even help me take care of the house, since my mother is staying at the hospital. It's like she doesn't care...my father has been asking for her and wondering where she is; it's heartbreaking.
I hate her. I try to avoid her as much as I possibly can. I know we should stick together as a family through all of this, but how can you be emotionally attached to someone who doesn't even show you (or my father) any concern or love in return? That's why I feel guilty. She is like a porcupine - you try to get close and you get pricked.
I come from a strong Catholic family, but even God doesn't seem to be doing much to help us out lately.
