My granny passed away and i need your help

[girlhappy]

As i said, my dearest granny i adored passed away last friday. I always thought i will end up like Bonos mum if she dies. I didnt (yet) but i feel so much pain i can barely cope. I really loved her , maybe the most of all people. It all happenned out of blue.
I am still jobless, which certainly doesnt help. Even freinds cant (some even dont want) to help so much. I was always fascinated how Bono and Larry survived and kept their faith after their terrible loss. Sometimes i think of Bono and his mum and his strength and faith and it gives me little comfort. But i dont have anything strong to hold on to. I just feel this pain and like he said deaath is a cold shower. It really is, i feel like i am frozen from it.
If anyone suffered from such an terrible loss , and has advice, it would be greately appreciated.

 

[minkim]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.
I was in a similar situation about a year ago, so I can really understand.
I can also relate to your thoughts on grief and Bono and his mum and things like that. (Since I lost my father it was more parallells about Bono losing his father though.)
My best advice to you is to get som IRL people to talk to; besides a friend or two, preferably somebody's whose job it is to listen to people in grief. Like a priest, or counselor of some kind.
Basically, all one needs is somebody to listen. There's not much people can say to comfort you, you just need to say out loud what hurts. You need somebody to listen to all your thoughts about this bereavement, all the new perspectives on life that this death means to you.
Not all friends bear to listen to things like this - I know that for a fact. That's ok, I guess, but it hurts nevertheless.
You really get to see who's your real friend or not in situations like these.

Stick to talking to people IRL, and be a bit careful about the Internet. You're so vulnerable right now, and sometimes people on the internet aren't very reliable - - I know that for a fact too - so please take care of your grief and yourself among people you really know and trust IRL.

All best.

 

[Lynz778]

My grandma died when I was about 14 at school. I'm 16 now, but I was really really close to her. It was competely out of the blue. I'm not religious in the slightest, but I believe that good people live on through you. She left part of herself in you, and all you can do now is have faith in yourself and know what she gave you isnt easily earned by anyone. I'm very sorry for your loss

 

[verte76]

My grandmother, my last surviving grandparent, died in May, so I can certainly relate to what you're going through. I was already seeing a counselor as I am autistic and need treatment for this. Therapy is great, I suggest you see a counselor.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Sorry for your loss; I'm guessing everyone on this board has lost someone very, very close to them, my father is dying as I write...

You must learn to manage your life with good thoughts about granny and putting your best foot forward in achieving your goals...you need to set goals...good luck.

 

[U2gypsy]

I am sorry for your loss.

I am currently going through a loss myself. My cat died. I loved him like a child. He was my "sunshine" and I called him "my little blessing from God". He loved everybody!

It's only been 10 days and it hurts like hell.

What gets me through IS prayer. I pray for God to give me the PEACE that transcends all understanding. It helps; it's my comfort.

Talking to family, friends or friends on the internet may help you. Please don't hesitate to come on here and talk to us again if you need to.

Sorry to hear about your Father, Mr. Baw.

My heartfelt sympathies.

 

[tiny dancer]

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. Both of my parents are deceased. First my dad, and than 4 years later my mom passed away. It is the most painful thing that I ever had to face. When my mom died, I thought that my life over. It was my friends more than my family that stood by me. My older brothers wanted to take my grief away. Please don't let anyone do that to you. Take all the time that you need in dealing with your grief. There is no set time to stop greiving. Also what help me was that the funeral home had a grief counselor, who was a godsend to me. Please take care of yourself, and go at your own pace. My thoughts and prayers are with you,as your go through this difficult time in your life.

 

[For Honor]

Your grandma would want you to be happy
That doesn't mean you can't grieve.
But also, think about making her proud

And your grandma is still with you - she's always with you. She'll always be on your side.

 

[girlhappy]

Oh, my God , tiny dancer, i admire you. I am happy to have you guys and your support. But as much as i know how you are right, Mr.Baw (i am so sorry to hear about your father), i dont see any goals at this point. Right before her death i was in really poor state of mind because of exhausting (and unsuccesful) search for a job. See, i didnt have much of perspective anyway. Now, this was like...a bit too much. I dont go out, and on the top of all that
one of my closest friend was rude and really hard on me the other day. He says(like heartless) why i am sad, and why am i not talking to him like cheerful. I said that close friends should sit in silence sometimes. He sais :I am not guilty for all this!?and stupid things like that. So, lucky you, tiny dancer, for having such a wonderful friends. because, this lack of compassion beats me down completely. I am llike...i am afraid to step into real worls, there is so much hurt. Seems to me, it is all that is possible. I live just to take the one pain after another(and in between days emptiness)

 

[Lynz778]

You really need to have faith in yourself and what you as a person mean to the world. Because you don't have many supportive people around you, it's you who has to support yourself and this is not an easy task.
I think you should definatly get help, but also realise that you have a lot to offer. You seem to be a troubled person who faces a lot of challenges. If you can come out the other side you will be such a strong person and change someone else's life forever. Just look at what Bono did. He even said himself that things might have been different if he and Larry's mothers hadn't died when they were young...and I think we all know the effect U2 has had on our lives.

 

[lady luck]

First of all, girlhappy I'm so sorry for your loss.
You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I never had a special relationship with my grandma, because she was far in space and in spirit.
But I'd like you to keep all your thoughts and memories of her, of the time you spent and enjoyed with her. That's something preacious and no one can take it away from you.