MERGED ----> Infatuation with an Instructor + This is kind of childish, but...

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4EVRU2

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Infatuation with an Instructor

Any Psychology majors around? I have a question to pose.
I had a dream about an instructor (male--I am F) and since then I've been fantasizing about him non-stop! It's quite distracting (albeit somewhat enjoyable) but I don't want to start feeling uncomfortable in his class!
I had him last semester and was fine, but the same thing happened when I had a different male instructor even though I did get over it fairly quickly.
So what is the deal? Am I just messed up, lonely (I do have a SO but it's not a great relationship and difficult to define) or what?
Maybe I just need a little perspective from others... I just don't know!:help:
 
It's normal, it happens.. lol.
Hey I was infatuated with a dance instructor and look now we're together! :wink:

But yeah, especially if your current relationship is lacking things.. you may 'crush' on others. Total human and natural.
 
i think it's hard not to have crushes on authority figures especially in a university setting where they are experts in their field. knowledge is sexy.

enjoy it. don't act on it, but enjoy it.
 
Reminds me of an Ab Fab episode...........................

I don't really have anything else to say that hasn't already been said soooo I'll be getting along now. bye! :wave:
 
Gosh. That reminds me of myself :lol:
The only thing I can say is that one day you will realize you're not so hot to trot for him and you wont know why. That is if you get over it :sexywink:
I agree with Irvine. Knowledge is sexy :D
 
I was the same way for one of my teachers the last two years of high school, got to know him really well in Europe, now I consider him a really close friend who happens to be very good looking.
 
last year I really fancied my english teacher who just so happened to be around his late 20's and he was very involved with swimming so you could just imagine his body figure. :D

ANYWAYS, having a small crush on him made me motivated to impress him by doing well in class, and I ended up doing REALLY well and so he paid more attention to me. just like I planned. :wink:

but really, like everyone said, it's natural to have a crush on an instructor and you'll get over it in no time :)
 
It seems like there is nothing for me to say here............ :wink:

But apperances can be deceiving!!!!


Sure, I had an infatution with a teacher, maybe 2.
I don't neccesarily think you're messed up........


But then again you haven't said a whole lot about your situation. No, I don't think that having a dream about someone is messed up. Especially, like everyone else said, if you are unhappy in your current situation.
 
Last semester my English professor wanted to talk to me in his office. It was the last day of class and he kept praising me. I was in shock. I stood up to leave and he reached out to hug me. I turned around and he put his hand on my shoulder and walked me back to the classroom. He said the nicest things to me and that is my weakness.

It's still all really weird in my mind what was actually going on. Oh well. I couldn't stop thinking about him for a few days. I felt so guilty. I wrote him an e-mail and he said he was only speaking from an academic standpoint. My friend still disagrees with that one. She said he was just covering his butt.

I stopped into see him about 4 days later and I was so glad I did. I realized I had no feelings whatsoever for him. He acted normal around me. We just have a great deal of respect for each other. I still keep my distant because I don't want anything to happen.

Anyway, yeah, I think it's normal. You spend 3 hours a week looking at them and listening to them. If they're attractive, of course you could become infatuated with them. Dreams don't help either. I've had dreams about actors liking me (and Edge hehe) and that's all I think about for days. Dreams are powerful things. I would think your feelings would fade after awhile, at least that's how it works for me.
 
Well thanks for the feedback--yay, I'm normal! The reason I questioned my normalcy is 'cos I can't exactly ask around to fellow classmates if they find this particular individual attractive--they probably would look at me like I'm crazy!
One classmate I talked to about him on an unrelated matter commented that he "is just a big :nerd:" which I took to mean he may be smart, and a college instructor, etc. but he has his dorky interests (ie. comic books) like the rest of us!
In response to you For Honor (or honour since I'm Cdn), my situation is, er, strange. I've been with same guy for eight-ish years, we have two children, (that's another thing, I'm not some fresh-faced young girl w/a crush on an older man. I'm thirty-ish and he's probably mid forties) and he is currently living elsewhere for work, but we've been off and on--I know, not great for the kids--and I can't even say for sure if I love him. It feels more like we're together 'cos it's habit.
why we don't just call it quits for good, I don't know: we have very little in common (my interest in U2--his offensive attitude toward it), I'm trying to improve myself through education, etc. and he doesn't even have his high school diploma, we can't even carry on decent conversations due to his lack of knowledge of the world, etc.
You may wonder why we even got together in the first place and I've asked myself that. All I can surmise is I'm fairly insecure and he paid attention to me (yes, sickening).
Sorry for going on and on... but thanks for the input!
 
4EVRU2 said:

All I can surmise is I'm fairly insecure and he paid attention to me (yes, sickening).
Click to expand...

I think this is a problem for many, many girls. I'm extremely insecure. My best friend is too and she tends to fall for anyone that pays attention to her (I struggle with that too). Good luck!
 
briarrose said:
I stood up to leave and he reached out to hug me. I turned around and he put his hand on my shoulder and walked me back to the classroom.
Anyway, yeah, I think it's normal. You spend 3 hours a week looking at them and listening to them. If they're attractive, of course you could become infatuated with them. Dreams don't help either.
I would think your feelings would fade after awhile, at least that's how it works for me.
Click to expand...


1. I would be thrilled if this happened! I'm a mature student so the only impropriety would be with the whole student-dating-instructor policy.
2. He's not what you'd call classically attractive (Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey) but it's his intellect and sense of humour and little quirks that I like.
3. yea, this happens too. By next week or month this may be a non-issue. such is life.
 
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^The only problem is, I'm married (I'm 23) and so is he (he's 38). I don't see him anymore though. I wanted to take a class with him this semester, because he told me I was his favorite student ever, but my husband recommended not doing so. (I told him everything).

I think it's easier to be attracted to someone with intelligence and good humor. The classic attractive seem unattainable. Those with intelligence and humor are real.
 
briarrose said:


I think this is a problem for many, many girls. I'm extremely insecure. My best friend is too and she tends to fall for anyone that pays attention to her (I struggle with that too). Good luck!
Click to expand...

It's very different when you're a young, early twenties insecure, but when you're thirty-something w/kids and still insecure :reject:!!
Hopefully with age comes more security but I'm still waiting...
 
briarrose said:
^The only problem is, I'm married (I'm 23) and so is he (he's 38). I don't see him anymore though. I wanted to take a class with him this semester, because he told me I was his favorite student ever, but my husband recommended not doing so. (I told him everything).

I think it's easier to be attracted to someone with intelligence and good humor. The classic attractive seem unattainable. Those with intelligence and humor are real.
Click to expand...

As far as I know he's not married (he could be :yikes: gay), I'm not married, but he'd have to like kids...
:hmm: now that I think of it, I have to wonder why he isn't married yet--he's gotta be in his mid to late forties--maybe even older!
 
hehehe, unfortunately i can relate..i also had an infatuation with a teacher that lasted only briefly, he was very funny, smart, easy to relate and shared the same music and movie tastes as me..(he's been to countless u2 concerts;)...
but then he became my friend and still is, years after graduating high school, ive been to concerts, movies, out drinking with him and its all been cool. this was of course much after my crush, the more i got to know him the less i liked him in that way. now looking back of course it is extremely silly and embarassing.
 
Ive got a thing for older men so quite a few of my teachers fell prey to my small fantasies :laugh:
Seriously, theres something really attractive about a man who is intelligent and has some form of power :drool:
I can relate with the insecure feelings. It does feel very good when somebody pays attention to you when you arent sure about your own worth. Like you need to jump on the attention and encourage it before it goes away :sigh:
 
this is kind of childish...but have you ever be in love with a teacher??

I was reading an article that says that mostly every women has idealizad with a professor once, but I'm not sure it's so common. And what bout men? If you have felt that tell me about it
thanks bye!!!



...If the sky CaN craCK there muST be some Way Out to lOvE and only LovEEEEE...
 
Laird/Bono I don't think you were in love, you were... let's say horny don't you think?. but it's a good example
 
I wanted to know if it was true now I see it is quiete common. I had a big crash with my english teacher, but boy he was sexy, nobody could reject it . Luckily now I see It happeens to lot of people.
 
To be honest I "DID" think I was in love. We used to have lunch together, had alot in common, and raised more than a few eyebrows with the faculty...

But hey..... thanx for assuming you know me. :wink:
 
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