Man, this sucks... and I don't understand.

[shart1780]

As you may know, a few months ago my girlfriend of three years and I broke up. It was pretty darn hard for me. We ended up talking about getting back together, but the very same night she cheated on me.

We decided not to get back together of course. About a month ago she called me to tell me she found this guy she was crazy about. I was just getting over her, but this bascally set me back a couple months. I felt pretty horrible about it. Again, we decided not to talk until I was over her.

Now I am over her. It's obvious to me that she was a bad girlfriend and had no interest in making me happy. I talked to her a bit about a week ago, and it went fine. I was over her so I didn't feel too bad. About a month ago she told me that she wanted to be able to talk as friends soon, so I thought it would be ok.

Well, she started talking about this guy she's with. She started talking about how he loves to party and fool around with other girls and such, so I became pretty worried for her. I talked to her alot about it and told her that it's not a good idea to be with him. I told her that she needed to respect herself and that she was worth more than that etc.. Either that or she needs to talk to him about all of these things.

She continued to willingly talk to me about it for around a week and I was genuinely concerned. I'm not in love with her, but I do love and care about her, and want her to be happy. Almost like I need to watch over her and care for her or something.

Today I was talking to a friend of mine that knows her, and apparently the whole thing was a big lie that her and her boyfriend thought up. I don't know if I should call it a joke because it was obviously pretty cruel. I made it very clear to her many times that I was really concerned that she was making a mistake, and she baited me on for a week.

This made me pretty mad. I talked to her a bit about it and told her I was pretty mad about it. I wasn't mean (I sure wanted to be) about it though. I told her I was pretty disappointed that when I could finally talk to her as a friend she just played with my mind some more. I then told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore because I couldn't trust her. She basically said good riddance and left.

As if that wasn't bad enough, her friend also told me that she really didn't cheat on me. Who should I believe? I have no idea. This girl obviously has no problem lying. The situation is pretty pathetic either way.

This whole thing is kind of sobering to me. I'm not really angry anymore, just confused. Why would she do this? I made it clear that I was acting as a friend. Heck, I even encouraged her to work on a healthy relationship with him. As soon as I put my trust in her as a friend she basically stabbed me in the back like she did when we were going out. I genuinely do love her. Not romantically, but I care for her very much as a friend, and I want her to be very happy.

Man this sucks. I don't know whether to be mad or sad. It's just all really disappointing that she would disrespect me that much. She doesn't even seem sorry about it. She treated it in a pretty casual way. I tried to get our relationship to work for three years and she ended up leading me on, lying, and/or cheating. I was devastated to lose her partially because I put so much into the relationship. I don't understand why she'd want to hurt me and push me away as a friend too.

Well, I definitely don't ever want to talk to her again

 

[Lila64]

I'm sorry this happened to you. She doesn't sound too mature, and if she treated you badly during your relationship, well.... I would cut-off contact with her and move on, but that's just me...

 

[lady luck]

I would take lila advice.
You don't know if u can trust her -- and u don't seem to trust her for what happened in the past

You said it's over -- that you care for her but you are not in love. And I think that you are lucky for that!

You show her she can count on you, but you have doubts that she's still playing her tricks, God know why!

Now move on. There are plenty of nice and careful girls around, that won't cheat you and will try to look after you.

hug

 

[larrysgal]

This girl obviously has low self-esteem and self-respect. It seems like she did those things to you to give herself a boost. It definitely seems like she is quite immature to be playing with your feelings and quite selfish as well. Kudos to you for not wanting to talk to her anymore. Anyone who is as selfish as she is does not deserve to be given the time of day from someone as considerate as you. She didn't deserve you as a boyfriend and she certainly does not deserve you as a friend. It's no use wasting your time on her; worrying over her will keep you away from the more important things and will probably help stroke her ego. Good luck with this my friend.

 

[U2Girl1978]

That's a really cruel thing to do to you yea. But why would you want to be friends with this girl after all this bullshit you put each other through?

 

[indra]

You are obviously not good for each other. Cut all ties and get on with the rest of your like. It will be far better for both of you. If you don't you will just keep opening up old wounds and will never heal.

Just walk away and do not look back.

 

[For Honor]

Well, I definitely don't ever want to talk to her again

The gift of closure comes in many forms.



Not having someone to worry about or care for is great in and of itself, and, when you are ready, you can look for someone who is better for you. You can always go up from something like this, so, best of luck to you.

 

[UberBeaver]

Call her up at all hours of the night and just scream into the phone. What a bitch this chick is. Serisouly, wtf?

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

She is clearly very imature.

Forget about her now and cut off all kinds of contact with her. Even if she just "wants to be friends", would you be friends with someone who was made it clear they can't be trusted?

Move on and get rid of everything that reminds you of her. If you do talk to her again treat like she was an old buddy and don't get serious or emotional.

Do it for yourself. Cut that past off of you.

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

...oh and about the "I don't understand" part of your post title: it's ok, you're never going to understand why people who are immature act the way they do.

 

[MrBrau1]

Everyone here is right on-Don't ever talk to her again.

 

[Liesje]

Every thread you've ever started about your girlfriend makes me go

When is enough enough?!?!

Leave the high school drama behind and move on.

 

[starsgoblue]

You're never gonna understand because you're trying to apply logic to something that clearly makes no sense--there was no need for her to have behaved like this! This girl obviously has maturity issues. Drop this one like a bad habit.

 

[Mr. BAW]

to the curb with this woman!