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Got Philk?

Got Philk?

Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
Joined
Jan 26, 2004
Messages
6,873
Location
Arizona, Tacoma, Philadelphia ,Atlanta, LA...
Hey Peeps,
I'm sitting here on Saturday night home alone. My wife had a "girls night out" and well, I'm not a girl. :D So, I'm home and it dawns on me that I know a hell of a lot of people, but don't have many close friends.

Well, ok, I have close friends. One is in Colorado, two in Cali, Maryland, and some in the Seattle area... you catch my drift. But for some reason, I'm seems I've always been great at making aquaintences, but none of them would think of me as a friend to chill with. Even in high school and college, it seemed everyone always thought I hung out with the other group of guys. Does anyone understand what I mean?

Don't worry too much. I am not lacking self confidence or sad or anything. I just wonder how I continue to make great "hi! How's it going" type friends, but not ones to call and hang out with. I know i can't just depend on my wife to stay home and be my buddy all the time...I'd drive her nuts. ;) But it's wierd.
thanks for listening guys,
philk
 
Yeah, I can relate to that quite well. My "hanging out" involves all you peeps on interference :lol: :reject: Don't have very many close friends or those that live near. One of my best friends is my daughter's best friends' Mom, so sometimes it's hard to 'hang out' if the daughters have other plans or are at each other's house.

Stop by the Temple Bar over in LS :wink:
 
I hear ya too, Philk. I have friends and lots of co workers and LOTS of friends here on Interference. In my job I am in Customer Service and I deal with people every day so I think when I come home I really just value peace and quiet....no ringing phones, and I just want to relax. Weekends I treasure my quiet time but I do try to go out occasionally so I don't become too much of a recluse. In my life tho I've normally had only a few really close friends. I prefer that to a complete big social circle or circles.

So yea, I understand! :up:
 
I'm the same way...I have a lot of friends, but on weekends I usually end up doing stuff by myself. :shrug:


Though that may be changing soon as it looks like I may start dating a Navy boy :sexywink:
 
I am in the same situation. I have no niche, and am currently at home while a majority of my high school class is at a party where it was "invite all your friends." No invite here.
 
Yeah, I left him for girls night out (not that exciting - dinner at Applebees and then chatting over Harry Potter movie), just as he was coming in after working all day :reject: I really just needed some AIR since I'm allergic to this apartment (see journal). Plus, I missed my old roommates and the other two cats. Funny how when you're in school, you want nothing more than to have your own place and act like a hermit for a while, and when you finally get that chance, you'd rather sit around back at your old house with the college students. I think I'm too used to having more people around, since as a kid we shared rooms and beds and all played and did homework in the same room every day. Sometimes, I go to my parents house for the day, since my mom is home in the morning and my dad works from home, and I just sit on their couch and read. :shrug:

We really do need some more friends....I wish I had more cousins my age.
 
I have a couple of close friends that I hang out with but unfortunately they are not living nearby right now. So completely understand where you are coming from Phil :).

Now if I only could meet the people I have become friends with on Interference :wink:
 
BonosBaby12 said:
Now if I only could meet the people I have become friends with on Interference :wink:
Click to expand...

:flirt:


I haven't made any close friends here where I live meself since I've started grad school. It sucks because my closest friends are far away. Gone are the days when we could just call each other and make spontaneous plans to hang out and just get up and go. I wish I knew that I would have to move away from them this soon in life.

It sucks not feeling close to anyone within a 500 mile radius. I got a dog...which has definitely been better, but still, I too would like to actually have people I relate to nearby.
 
redhotswami said:


:flirt:


I haven't made any close friends here where I live meself since I've started grad school. It sucks because my closest friends are far away. Gone are the days when we could just call each other and make spontaneous plans to hang out and just get up and go. I wish I knew that I would have to move away from them this soon in life.

It sucks not feeling close to anyone within a 500 mile radius. I got a dog...which has definitely been better, but still, I too would like to actually have people I relate to nearby.
Click to expand...

I hope to meet up with you in the near future :flirt:

Know how you feel about missing the times of making spontaneous plans with friends. Used to do that a lot with my friend Aric. Now months go by before we see each other again since he's moved away :(. At least we still get to have our Christmas date at the movies :).

Im happy that Bailey is able to help you out some :hug:
 
BonosBaby12 said:


I hope to meet up with you in the near future :flirt:

Know how you feel about missing the times of making spontaneous plans with friends. Used to do that a lot with my friend Aric. Now months go by before we see each other again since he's moved away :(. At least we still get to have our Christmas date at the movies :).

Im happy that Bailey is able to help you out some :hug:
Click to expand...

I do too!!!! Esp when you move to Chicago. Every now and again my family visits our relatives in Gary, IN. I'd totally ditch them all to hang out with ya! :hyper:

And thanks, Bailey has done wonders for me!
 
I moved away with my dad two weeks after I graduated high school, and my three closest friends from high school remain my closest friends. Unfortunately, we all live in different areas now. Besides my boyfriend and my co-workers (who are all at least 20 years older than I am), I don't know anybody. For the most part, I'm fine with it...I enjoy being a homebody, so I like coming home from work and cleaning and reading and hanging out with the dogs and stuff. Every so often though, I sure wish I had somebody to call up and just go grab some dinner and gab or something though. :sigh:
 
I totally understand where you're coming from. Since my boyfriend and I moved to the States, it has been very hard to figure out how to make friends. I think it's part of the stage in life we are in. We're both in our late 20s and although he is a student, I am a career girl and it just seems harder to find the cool people that you would WANT to be friends with. Where do you go to strike up an acquaintance? I'm not a barfly, I hate loud smoky places. I'm not particularly religious and don't have a church to go to (although I probably could find a decent one if I had enough energy). I'm younger than a lot of the people I work with and thus don't have the kids and the house and the "life" that many of them do. And I grew up overseas and have travelled extensively and don't see the world in the same light as most of the people in small-town Virginia. :shrug:

I think that post-college is a hard time in which to sort out your social life. If anyone has any great suggestions, I'm sure open to hearing them. :) Why can't all the cool interferencers live in the same area. Then we could hang out with each other!
 
redhotswami said:


I do too!!!! Esp when you move to Chicago. Every now and again my family visits our relatives in Gary, IN. I'd totally ditch them all to hang out with ya! :hyper:

And thanks, Bailey has done wonders for me!
Click to expand...

Oh the things that we can get into in Chicago! :lol: Looking forward to those ditching moments :hyper: And you are most welcome :hug: :)
 
sulawesigirl4 said:
I think that post-college is a hard time in which to sort out your social life. If anyone has any great suggestions, I'm sure open to hearing them. :)
Click to expand...

I think this is exactly what I mean. I too am "post-college", even though I'm going back in a bit. I'm in my mid 20's and my wife is 22. But yeah, I don't like bars, or clubs, and my co-workers are not one's I'd hang out with.

I feel inbetween stages of life or something. As she said, suggestions?
 
It also doesn't help that we don't really live in a neighborhood anymore. The last college house I was in was actually in my parents neighborhood (and Phil lived with my parents) where there's a lot of young families and people that just got married/finished school. In this complex, it's mostly single people that work all the time and a few young families that don't speak English, not that we care, but we don't really speak much else. For example, the only person we really talk to here is the guy across the hall, and he has a family somewhere else but has to live here in the city during the week for his job.

Yeah, I still love my college and high school friends and hang out with them, but that gets old for Phil.

Too bad we don't have more cousins around here or something. I get along well with my siblings, but my sister is still in high school and all into high school stuff, so I suppose she'll mature once she gets into college and then we can relate better, but right now her idea of "night out" = watching MTV and making collages of teen magazines. I really like Phil's brother and his wife, but they live in North Carolina. Maybe we should just move there :hmm:
 
sulawesigirl4 said:

I think that post-college is a hard time in which to sort out your social life. If anyone has any great suggestions, I'm sure open to hearing them. :)
Click to expand...

Go back to school like I did? :wink:

I think it's also a bit tougher for couples, to be honest. As a single person, I have a couple of roommates (one of whom I adore), about 5 close friends who live in my building and tons of people less than 15 minutes away. When you're single you have much less of a safety net, I think and it pushes you to meet people. I've noticed that even here at law school, people who are in longterm relationships, especially those living together are far, far less social than the rest of us. They spend more time at home with each other, which is understandable. But it's also why their social network is so much smaller - if you have somebody to come home to and confide to and so on, you don't have as much of an incentive to go out and find other people to fill that void.
 
anitram said:

I think it's also a bit tougher for couples, to be honest. As a single person, I have a couple of roommates (one of whom I adore), about 5 close friends who live in my building and tons of people less than 15 minutes away. When you're single you have much less of a safety net, I think and it pushes you to meet people. I've noticed that even here at law school, people who are in longterm relationships, especially those living together are far, far less social than the rest of us. They spend more time at home with each other, which is understandable. But it's also why their social network is so much smaller - if you have somebody to come home to and confide to and so on, you don't have as much of an incentive to go out and find other people to fill that void.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I see what you're saying. Although it seems we almost have the opposite problem. For the majority of our relationship, we've both lived with 5+ friends. So during college, I never really put out and effort to be social, because I always had 4 close friends right there and we all went out together or had people over to our house. I'd assume the same was true for Phil, since he lived with 5 guy friends and mainly did stuff with them. Not only did we have those friends, but there were hundreds of students my same age living within the same few blocks of me, and all my guy friends moved into the duplex across from ours. I suppose now I've learned I took that for granted, always having close friends around and never being lonely. Now, it seems too quiet and I'm always thinking "where are all the people? where's all the noise?" Before, all I had to do was walk downstairs if I needed a friend to talk to or wanted someone to go out and get a drink with. Now it's like, crap, we have no friends around here, we're going to have to get out there and meet friends! I feel bad for Phil because most of my close friends I've know since grade school, some since I was four years old, but his close friends all came from far away and when they finished school, went back.

We got this e-mail from a new pastor at my family's church so maybe we'll have to join the "Twenty-somethings" Bible study *shudder* to see if we can make some friends at least...
 
anitram said:


Go back to school like I did? :wink:
Click to expand...

That isn't really working out for me :(
But, I've made my own decisions to live alone, and to choose such a rigorous program. I rarely ever see people outside of my program and my assistantship (in which I am the only grad student, and the only person my age in the entire department). I've tried to do things with the cohort, but their shallowness and selfishness got on my nerves after awhile.

So...I'm kinda stuck :shrug:

May can't come any sooner!
 
anitram said:


Go back to school like I did? :wink:

I think it's also a bit tougher for couples, to be honest. As a single person, I have a couple of roommates (one of whom I adore), about 5 close friends who live in my building and tons of people less than 15 minutes away. When you're single you have much less of a safety net, I think and it pushes you to meet people. I've noticed that even here at law school, people who are in longterm relationships, especially those living together are far, far less social than the rest of us. They spend more time at home with each other, which is understandable. But it's also why their social network is so much smaller - if you have somebody to come home to and confide to and so on, you don't have as much of an incentive to go out and find other people to fill that void.
Click to expand...

I always wondered...if i EVER find a boyfriend(which is impossible, anyway)-- will i be less social? I wanted to ask you... is it true that we single-people need and seek attention, warmth and love elsewhere? Meaning:if we had relationship, we wouldnt be so needy. What do you all think?
 
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