Lowest of the low...

[maro_chik]

I'm in such a hole right now.

I was supposed to be gone for 5 weeks to study French in Quebec. I knew it'd be a challenge, but I thought I could handle it. But one week later, I'm home.

I broke down Saturday morning, and didn't stop crying all day. I wanted out asap. The student counsellor lady kept asking if there was anything that could make me stay and the answer was always no.

This is probably the lowest I've ever felt... Maybe in my entire life. I feel like such a pathetic failure. I mean, there were 250 other students there. How they can make it through the entire 5 weeks boggles my mind. It's like running a quadruple marathon.

My mum's gonna set me up an appointment tomorrow, hopefully to get me back on meds.

I'm supposed to return back to work on June 13th. I'll need this time now to sort myself out.

...And I'm still crying.

 

[wizard2c]

reply

If it helps any...I have been where you are many many times.

Here's a from my to you.

 

[clarityat3am]

 

[Sevikins]

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

you're not a failure

 

[Maggie1]

Sometimes life just gets hard and we may take on more than we can handle. It does not mean you are a failure. It will get better.

 

[Laura M]

I have to go and teach in Spain for a year in September then I'm off to do a 6 week course in Grenoble in France, I guess that's near the equivalent of what you were doing.

Everyone seems very excited about it but I am really terrified at the thought of being alone in a foreign country for such a long time. I was speaking to a girl who went last year and in her 1st week in France she had returned home 4 times. A lot of 4th year students have said how hard it was moving. I'm sure there are more of those 250 students who are on the brink of going home too. You're not a failure. I don't really think it's easy for anyone.

 

[cell]

what everyone said

 

[tiny dancer]

 

[kobayashi]

i just finished a year of flipping between relaxed and intensive french training. it is one of the most draining things i have ever done. and ill never truly be done.

i tried several different learning strategies before settling on one that worked for me.

dont doubt yourself. find something that suits you and pursue it.

 

[SoBe]

I have been in your shoes before, I know exactly what the "hole" feels like. It's hard to believe what others are telling you right now, but you really aren't a failure. You've got your mom and doctor, lean on them hon. We're here for you too.

 

[maro_chik]

Thanks for all your supportive words.

Everyone keeps trying to tell me that I'm not a failure, but it's hard to accept.

I thought I was finished with this anxiety crap. I was feeling totally in control about a year ago, and I feel like I'm back at square one.

I'm supposed to go back to work in about 4 weeks; hopefully I can get a handle on things by then.

I don't want to have these limitations for the rest of my life...

 

[Sicy]

I probably would have done the same thing.

Dont feel too bad maybe you just werent ready for that yet.

 

[daygloeyes2]

I had a breakdown a few months ago too. It sucks.

I hope everything gets better soon.

 

[For Honor]

If you are still typing on these message boards, then you will be alright. As long as you can see the sun rising and setting.

I'm finding out more and more that happiness is merely a state of mind. Some people react differently, but emotions and the likes will get better with time.


If you need any support, I know that you will find it here.
There are a lot of good people


a few questionable charaters - like myself- but a lot of good people just the same.

Sometimes I get really hard on myself, and it gets really difficult to move past that. But somehow it just happenes