Judgments Agaisnt the Under/Unemployed

[Pearl]

This is more of a rant thread than an advice/confessional one...

I don't understand why there are so many people who are judgmental towards anyone who is under or unemployed. Official statistics say about 8% of Americans are not employed, and that percentage may be actually higher. In that case, everyone is supposed to know someone who has been hurt by the economic downturn and either lost their jobs or were unable to find a decent one after getting their college or post-graduate degrees. But yet, they show very little sympathy sometimes.

I am working as a receptionist at a law firm. While it is not the greatest job in the world, I am grateful that I have it. I spent 3 1/2 years trying to get a job in media after getting my MA in journalism. While I did some freelancing, I had to work low-waged jobs to survive. Before I got this law firm job, it looked like I was going to go on Medicaid and food stamps after my unemployment from a temp job ran out. So, I have every right to be relieved that I have this job.

But whenever I tell people about my job, they get so judgmental towards me. People who knew about my struggles even raise an eyebrow when they learn I'm a law office receptionist. They'd be like: "Weren't you trying to get back into news? Why aren't you working there? Don't you have a master's degree?" etc.

That is what pisses me off so much. If people are aware that there are so many struggling to find work and getting what they can, why do they get so critical with someone who isn't working a good enough job? Heck, they even laugh sometimes.

It's just I don't understand why people are so judgmental like this. One minute they talk about how difficult the economy is, and then they turn around and smirk at someone who hasn't had it easy. Sometimes I think some have no clue what is going on in the world and don't know too many people.

Anyway, I'm just bothered by the lack of sympathy and the overt criticism out there. I try not to care about what people think because they have no idea what I went through, but when I feel judged over and over, I get upset.

OK, enough of this rant. Just wanted to blow off some steam.

 

[Catman]

LIKE


I think your criticism can be expanded upon to including anyone who doesn't seem to follow the "normal" life path - didn't graduate in 4 years? What's wrong with you? Maybe I'm just confused and not sure what I want to do. No wife/ husband? When are you going to finally start a family? Well geez, maybe I'm just at that point in life where I need to be selfish and can't concern myself with helping to support someone else!

But anyway, back to your point - you have a job, and there isn't any shame in that... ESPECIALLY, like you said, in this economy. Hell, I'm just a tutor/ TA right now, and will be very soon taking out a metric fuck-ton of loans for future schooling next year; it happens.

 

[Pearl]

But anyway, back to your point - you have a job, and there isn't any shame in that... ESPECIALLY, like you said, in this economy. Hell, I'm just a tutor/ TA right now, and will be very soon taking out a metric fuck-ton of loans for future schooling next year; it happens.

I'm not ashamed, but I wish people wouldn't raise their eyebrows and look down at me when I tell them what I do. I guess its because some people think doing basic admin work is a lowly position. But if I ever tell them about my education background, then they're really judgmental.

I did some tutoring in the past, and if the students or anyone else found about my education, they were baffled. I swear, some people are living under a rock. A big one.

 

[occlith]

It's just I don't understand why people are so judgmental like this. One minute they talk about how difficult the economy is, and then they turn around and smirk at someone who hasn't had it easy. Sometimes I think some have no clue what is going on in the world and don't know too many people.
Anyway, I'm just bothered by the lack of sympathy and the overt criticism out there.

Their reactions are based on ignorance and lack of empathy. Could also be a sort of If I could do it, why can't they reaction.
Try to shrug it off. Some folks are just smug and overconfident. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

 

[Pearl]

Their reactions are based on ignorance and lack of empathy. Could also be a sort of If I could do it, why can't they reaction.
Try to shrug it off. Some folks are just smug and overconfident. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

True, but there appears to be a lot of ignorant people out there who lack empathy.

I do try to not let it bother me, but when it happens so much over a long period of time, it does start to get to me.

 

[MsPurrl]

We have a different kind of situation, too. I have been the "bread winner" for several years, while MrPurrl has been the stay-at-home "house husband." Financially we are doing fine; and he handles most of the cooking, cleaning, and yard care. It works for us, but there's always someone who has to ask him, "What do you do?" (as in "Where do you work?"); and it does bother him sometimes. Definitely a case of "mind your own business", IMHO!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Unfortunately some people are completely lacking in empathy. But wait until it happens to them and maybe they'll learn something. People like that aren't worth letting their opinion mean anything to you. F em

You have to live your own life on your own terms. To me that's the only kind of life that's worth living.

 

[Pearl]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, or too self-conscious knowing that I should be working a better job than what I have and what I had before. I guess it makes the criticisms from others more painful because I am already feeling bad that I am not using my skills and education toward a better job. But in this economy, you got to be happy with whatever you have.

 

[Liesje]

My circumstances are a little different but I often feel like people think I'm crazy for "settling". I've never been real career-minded. The things I really love to do are not things you can earn a living doing, so I'm not going to try. I'm perfectly happy working an 8-5 M-F job that pays all my bills and leaves enough for me to enjoy my modest lifestyle and hobbies. I am not overburdened by a stressful job or working 80 hours a week and I love it. I still get paid vacations, holidays, health insurance, a retirement fund, and life insurance so who cares if I don't make six figures. I'd rather be at home working on my house or off on a road trip or competing with my dog a few states over than in the office until 1am.

 

[deep]

based upon your education, skills, degrees you are underemployed

it does not matter that you are being paid appropriately for the services or the output you are providing.

 

[anitram]

I am not overburdened by a stressful job or working 80 hours a week and I love it. I still get paid vacations, holidays, health insurance, a retirement fund, and life insurance so who cares if I don't make six figures. I'd rather be at home working on my house or off on a road trip or competing with my dog a few states over than in the office until 1am.

I used to have one of those jobs where a 1 am start was relatively routine. You can only do that for so long without burning out...though there are some people who seem to thrive on it and never get sick of it. Never understood how they did it.

I have a very pleasant job now, working about 9-6 and I may have to fire off an e-mail or two in the evening but I typically don't work weekends (haven't worked more than one Saturday in 6 months). But the salary/benefits are still nicely in the 6 figure range and so on. So there definitely are jobs out there with a good work/life balance and very good compensation, it's just that typically you have to suck it up and be a corporate slave for a few years before such opportunities arise.

Generally speaking, I think that people out there have a really distorted view of what it's like to find a job in your field these days, particularly if it is a professional or very competitive field. Try not to let them get to you, oftentimes people who make those comments are unhappy with their own lives and feel the need to put others down.

 

[Pearl]

based upon your education, skills, degrees you are underemployed

it does not matter that you are being paid appropriately for the services or the output you are providing.

Honestly, deep, why did you make this comment? I started this thread to rant about people who are judgmental about my job situation, and you're needling me about what is already on my mind. I don't need that.

 

[deep]

I was responding to Liesje's post not yours I posted right after her,
next time I will quote

 

[Liesje]

Hmmm, well I don't get it either! Do you know my degree, certifications, and salary? For where I live I don't really consider myself underemployed. Cost of living is low here but so are salaries and unemployment is near or at the highest in the nation. As far as my actual employer, if I were to move any farther up the chain I would have to start managing people and getting political and I have zero desire to do either. I am at the highest level I can attain on my current team without taking over my boss' role and his job is vastly different than mine and the rest of my colleagues on our level of the hierarchy. I'm more of a task-do-er. I own/manage certain responsibilities and tasks that I do myself without delegating; because of the experience or skill or level of access required, I have to do them. I go to work to get stuff done and when all my tasks and projects are done I can go home and not waste 5 minutes stressing about my job while I'm trying to use my time to enjoy my home, my family, and my dogs. I took some managerial training a few years back and told my boss the main thing I learned was that I never want his job!

What I can never figure out about myself is that I was always a very good student yet have never had the urge to go back to school and do a masters or beyond. I keep wondering when that will happen but so far it hasn't....

I think it is easier for me than someone like Pearl (at least based on the criticism she is describing) because of my family. Even in my generation it is not a given that you go to college. You work to provide for yourself and your family but life = spending time with family, travel (I'm not talking tours of Europe but camping and road trips and packing 24 people in a 1 bathroom cottage for two weeks), fishing, hunting...that kind of stuff. No one in my family has really expensive taste as far as hobbies. Work comes before education and so far everyone has decent jobs and is doing well. I'm the oddball because I spent a lot of money on my education and now we're putting Phil through his third round but in his case, a career really depends on graduate work (in my case, I get promotions based on additional training and technical certifications that are not part of BA or graduate programs).

 

[deep]

Sorry, from posting and reading in here for years, I guess I get some people mixed up. I am puzzled that any of Pearl's friends would look down on her or suggest she is underemployed. I have two pretty close friends in my age group 50s, that have backgrounds in Journalism. They have been publishers and editors for newspapers. Both are working outside of that field. I subscribe to two daily newspapers on newsprint. So I am doing my part to support Journalists and their professions.
I know a lot of people that have law degrees and are working outside of that field at wages far less than one would expect with their education.
I know it is really tough out there. I went to college in the 70s and am not that well educated. And it seems like college costs are getting way out of hand and with so many people attending these days employers have plenty to choose from.

 

[Pearl]

For the record, the people who have been looking down at me are usually casual acquaintances. But I did have some "friends" who never made it secret that they thought I was underemployed no matter what I did. I've been distancing myself from those people because they clearly were never worth it.

 

[deep]

I am sorry about that.
I think people that look down on other people, or treat other people poorly, well they have low self-esteem.

 

[Pearl]

I am sorry about that.
I think people that look down on other people, or treat other people poorly, well they have low self-esteem.

True, and it seems like there are many, many who are like that. I guess those with healthy self-esteem are a rarity, but that's another thread.

 

[Liesje]

Yeah maybe that have "good" jobs that they really hate or something like that.