I've convinced myself that relationships aren't for me

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.

LikeNoOneBefore

Refugee
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
1,941
Location
Scranton, PA
So it's been a year since my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a bad break-up. A lot of on and off fighting. When we weren't fighting, we were pretty much best friends, oddly enough. Currently, we're not talking though, due to a stupid argument. But this is not the point.

The point is that since then, any guy I have remotely had feelings for, I have convinced myself that I won't work well with in a relationship. Either I just convince myself that I have no chance or I start finding things in them that would signify a bad relationship. Just little things. Like the fact that we don't have the same group of friends or something. It's ridiculous.

Just lately, I've had this feeling along with the feeling that I'm missing something in my life. Or that I should be doing something really important. My best friend, Dom says that this isn't abnormal, but I've never had either of these feelings before.

Am I just insane? Haha Is there any "cure" for this?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
 
I don't know if I can offer much insight...but perhaps you need a break from relationships, or even your expectations of them. You might get this feeling that you are missing something in your life. Maybe you are still growing, still figuring out who you are, etc.

It is okay to not be in a relationship...sometimes (especially for women) I feel there is a pressure for us to be in one. If a guy approaches us and we aren't interested, that isn't a good enough excuse. It is as though if we're not taken then we are availble and should be open to them.

Anyway, I'd say take a break and do some soul searching, and help yourself grow and have a damn good time doing it!
 
I would take a break. Usually the best relationships are completely unexpected, ones you never went looking for.

Also, from your other thread it sounds like you're busy preparing for college, so now might be a good time to focus on yourself and your needs for the future.
 
Yes, I agree. Relationships can be for anyone, but they don't work at every stage in your life. Give it some time + wait till you feel ready. Don't try to speed up the course of your life if you don't need to. Causes this--->:huh: or maybe :mad:
 
LivLuvAndBootlegMusic said:
Also, from your other thread it sounds like you're busy preparing for college, so now might be a good time to focus on yourself and your needs for the future.


Well, no, not really. I'm only 16. I'm just looking for ideas in colleges.
 
LikeNoOneBefore said:



Well, no, not really. I'm only 16. I'm just looking for ideas in colleges.

But soon you'll be going away to college, which will put even MORE stress on you and any relationship, which often result in lots of pain and failure when people move apart. Besides, at 16 you should not be worrying that you're not in a committed relationship. Just be yourself and have some fun while you still can! :up:
 
I wasn't even thinking about relationships at 16,let alone giving up on them. Friendships yes, real relationships with boys no :nerd: I think I was better off for it though.
 
LivLuvAndBootlegMusic said:


But soon you'll be going away to college, which will put even MORE stress on you and any relationship, which often result in lots of pain and failure when people move apart. Besides, at 16 you should not be worrying that you're not in a committed relationship. Just be yourself and have some fun while you still can! :up:

Word up. You've got plenty of time for a real realtionship later on. Take me for example I'm 20 and I've only had one girlfriend. The right guy will come along for you eventually, just give it time.

Being single isn't always a bad thing. While you are single you can spend time on discovering what it is you are looking for, who you are and where you want to go in life. That way when the time comes for a realtionship you'll know exactly what you want.

This may not apply to everyone ... but for me as a Christian. I try to be the best man I can be for God. Focusing on his word and living for him ... and just being open to a realtionship if it comes along.

The right one is out there ... you just have to wait for him. All good things are worth waiting for. I would echo what others are saying realtionships often happen when you least expect it. Keep your head up ... "It's a Beautiful Day ... Don't let it get away!"

I'll be praying it all works out for you. :up:
 
Speaking from current experience, I would say don't think about having a relationship with anyone. When you spend alot of time in a relationship that is rough and draining, you lose sight of the other good things in your life. Re-invest yourself into the friendships that are important to you. The feeling of missing something doesn't go away but with a little help from the people you care about you'll get through. Two things that I've found soften the confusion of feelings are expressing yourself through writing, music or whatever you like to do and to listen to music that sounds like you feel.

The most important advice that I can give you is to tell the people you care about how you feel about them. By coming to terms with your relationships, you'll realize what you truly need in life. You might also learn that you or others have feelings that haven't come out. When you get a pulse on what makes you happy and what you need in life, it will be clear whether or not you can continue a relationship with this guy or whether you're ready to date again. Express your feelings towards others and you will get the answers that you seek. Trust me. :wink:
 
scarlet october said:
This may not apply to everyone ... but for me as a Christian. I try to be the best man I can be for God. Focusing on his word and living for him ... and just being open to a realtionship if it comes along.


Yeah, I've definitely been doing that. I've been trying to see if something in my walk with God is causing these random emotional moments, but so far, I haven't found any evidence that it is. :shrug:


Thanks for your help everyone. :hug:
 
LikeNoOneBefore said:



Yeah, I've definitely been doing that. I've been trying to see if something in my walk with God is causing these random emotional moments, but so far, I haven't found any evidence that it is. :shrug:


Thanks for your help everyone. :hug:

I wouldn't say the random emotions are anything to do with your walk with God. Jesus is always there for you and people have freewill as far as our lives go. Emotions come and go. Alot of times it's just the mood swings you get as you're getting older and maturing. The Bible says to take every thought captive.

I don't know the whole situation you're going through. But I do know there is a God who knows our names and our situations. Sometimes you just have to rely on faith and let him do what you can't.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

~Proverbs 3:5-6~

;)
 
Back
Top Bottom