I've been avoiding my sister

[BAW]

I love my sister very much and we usually spend every Sunday together but she has a problem that is just annoying the hell out of me and no matter how many times I bring it to her attention, she keeps doing the same things, over and over.

She is extremely rude...not to me usually but to store clerks, her boss, her daughter, her friends or anyone else who happens to cross her path.

She will pull out her cell phone in the middle of the grocery store and have a loud arugment with her best friend...which usually includes "why do you have to be such an ASSHOLE?" at high volume. I can hear her 3 aisles away and do my best to pretend I'm not with her but she eventually finds me and wants to know why I'm not walking with her. Duh.

If her daughter happens to wander away, she will stand in the middle of store and yell "VERONICA LYNN, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!" completely unaware of the people around her looking at her like she's a maniac.

Its not just public displays either. We can be looking at family pictures and she will just blurt out something like "oh my God...look how fat you used to be!" She is very close to getting fired because she constantly mouths off to her boss...he loves her work but can't stand her as a person and I'm starting to feel the same way about her.

I bring her rudeness to her attention all the time and she admits she has a problem but refuses to change. She calls me all the time to ask me "was that comment I made really rude?" and I tell her every time, "yes, extremely rude" but the next week, its back to the same loudmouth behavior.

I don't want to keep avoiding her but I've really had enough.

 

[Bonochick]

Wow...that's tough...

I used to have a friend like that, and I used to just tell her flat out she had to stop doing that, but she didn't change her behavior. It's hard to change who you are, even when you know it would be for the better.

All you can do is keeping telling her, since she obviously agrees. Therefore, it's not like she can get mad at you. I would tell her flat out that you don't want to spend time with her if she's going to be so rude in public. Maybe then she'll realize that something needs to change.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

eek char, that is tough situation. i am sorry to see your sister is pushing you away because of her behaviour. maybe if you tell her that you are uncomfortable being around her right now due to her rudeness maybe she will start to make an effort to change.

 

[beegee]

poor char. my best friend is the same way. lucky (kinda) for me, she lives nine hundred miles away. but yeah, i know the horror of having someone get loud in public. i think the best way to deal with it when you are out together is to just ignore it. she is your sister, after all.

when you are alone and she says rude things to you, you're gonna have to be a little rude in return, i'm afraid. let her know you do not appreciate being insulted, especially by someone you care about.

i hope it all works out.

 

[cell]

have a serious talk with her about it, and let her know how you feel. if she seriously can't change, i'd go ahead and just avoid going anywhere with her as much as you possibly can.

hope things work out for you char

 

[diamond]

i have a brother like your sister char

 

[cass]

well this probaly won't make you fel any better ( and btw , I think you are very lucky to se your sister each week)
I love my big sister. I've just got back from a visit with her, we had the best long walk up the beach at sunrise. I want to go home.

 

[cass]

well this may make you feel better
My family is loud and forthright(rude?) Well my mother and two of my sisters anyway. The youngest (that's me) the eldest and my dad are quiet. The other's make up for it. They often embarrass me in public, but I love them so much , it's OK

 

[madamc]

Maybe she needs professional help??

 

[BAW]

Thanks everyone

I really do love my sister and I hate avoiding her...when she's not being obnoxious, we have a great time together. My kids love being with her because she's the "fun aunt" but her daughter prefers to be with me, because I'm the "nice aunt."

Maybe its just the differences in our personalities becoming more obvious as we get older.

I'll see her on Easter, maybe she'll listen to me this time.

 

[ABEL]

Char

Has she always been this way? If it's gotten worse, perhaps it is some sort of chemical imbalance, or high blood pressure, thyroid problem, or a number of things causing it?