It's official: this girl broke my heart and I need some help

[laurent37]

Hi,

Maybe some of the girls on the forums can help me because my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago and I still don't understand why she even don't want to be friends with me anymore. We have been together for about 6 months and we also work together at the same office. It has been a pretty rocky relationship and lately we had been arguing alot but we also had a lot of great times together. Three weeks ago she said she needed some space from me and I did give her the space she needed. But it was difficult because we work together. Last week I asked her if at least we could be friends again but she said she wasn't interested in a relationship and friendship anymore. She was very distant and cold and I couldn't believe that it was all over. I still don't understand that three weeks ago she said she wanted to spend her life with me and two weeks later she has no feelings of any kind left for me. Can someone who has gone through the same thing or done the same thing please explain what happened because I just want to understand and she wont talk to me anymore.

 

[bonosloveslave]

Hi laurent,

I moved your thread so that you can hopefully get some good honest input - the "It's Official" forum tends to be very light-hearted and silly, Zoo Confessionals should get you some better responses.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, it's especially hard to be in your position when you have had your heart broken by someone you work with and can't easily avoid them. I don't know that there is anything I, she, or anyone else could say to make your pain go away - unfortunately it just takes time

 

[MooMoo!]

I guess you can never tell what people are thinking. :/ If she wont tell you, perhaps its because its a reason that could be hurtful to you, so in a way it may be better that you dont know.

Thats just my guess anyway. :/ Maybe all the arguments just got to her?

 

[laurent37]

I guess are relationship was to emotional. We both had a rather difficult life but at least we could talk about it. But now she acts like we never had anything good going and that hurts. But maybe in a month or two things have calmed down and at least we can talk about what happened. Maybe..

 

[MooMoo!]

Unfortunately bad events tend to stick out in peoples memories a lot more than the good ones. :/ She may just want to avoid the subject altogether to save herself the awkwardness.

 

[Sicy]

Of course I have NO idea, but that kind of abruptness sort of sounds like there may be someone else.

 

[mikal]

Of course I have NO idea, but that kind of abruptness sort of sounds like there may be someone else.

this was my first thought too.

 

[Purplereign]

no advice, am crap in matters of the heart, but for your sadness - hope it doesn't take too long for your heart to heal

 

[laurent37]

There may be someone else because in the past she had a boyfriend abroad who has showed up lately but what I don't get is that she has totally shut off communication with me and says that now she feels awkward around me. To push me completely out of her life is plain cruel and sounds nothing like her but maybe I was blinded by love the whole time and was played for a fool.

 

[DRay9911]

you're toast because you work in the same office.

it sucks and you probably didn't deserve it, no matter how many arguments you had. but girls are girls and they are going to do what they are going to do.

keep your self respect and just move on, you are better off just letting her go. if she did you that way she's not worth it...if you tried to talk to her, she would probably give you cryptic answers anyway.

if you have a cool chick friend (preferably one that has problems with guys), vent to her about it because your guy friends don't want to hear that stuff.

i've been bummed over a girl for an embarrassingly long period of time. we work for the same company, but she works in a different building.

fortunately for me she's finally leaving at the end of the month and i have heard from a 3rd hand source she's moving to alaska....i win.

-dan

 

[anitram]

Of course I have NO idea, but that kind of abruptness sort of sounds like there may be someone else.

Hard to tell if it really is that abrupt because a lot of times a person who is in a relationship thinks that it's sudden but the rest of the world probably saw it coming months ago...

 

[Bonoa]

I think the reason lies somewehere between Sicy's and Anitram's anwer....

I'm sorry your relationship ended that way. You said you and her were in a pretty emotional relationship and that you and her went through difficulties in life. You and her could talk about these difficulties, but I wonder if there was enough understanding from both sides; are these difficulties a closed chapter in your lives or did they just linger on?

Good luck!

 

[laurent37]

The difficulties in our lives are something that we still have to deal with every day. We understood each other perfectly about them but she is someone who can never choose what she wants. She has abandoned three studies already and want to take on a new study in september. She is also going to leave the firm we work end august and has no new job yet. I think she couldn't handle all the presure anymore and thought it was the best idea to completely shut me out of her life. She is running away from everything in life and I just want to help her get through life. But she obviously doesn't want my help.

 

[Bonoa]

I think she couldn't handle the truth, that's the reason why she doesn't want to let you help. It's her loss.

I feel sorry for your broken heart, but I know you'll be okay!

 

[DaveC]

Steps for getting over a breakup:

1. Open your favourite filesharing program OR walk down to your nearest music store.
2. Download/buy the album Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan.
3. Listen at top volume.

This works every time. In fact, I'm doing it right now!

Women

 

[laurent37]

I don't think playing music really hard is going to help but the nice comments on this forum are very sweet. We both made some bad mistakes and I am certainly also to blame for our breakup but it is hard. Very hard because I see her every day and I see she is hurting to but at this moment nothing is going to save our friendship. Maybe over time we can communicate again but it is al in the stars and not very likely at this moment.

 

[DaveC]

I don't think playing music really hard is going to help

Then you must have never heard Blood on the Tracks.

Trust me on this one.

 

[Galeongirl]

Playing music really hard always helps.

Boys and girls from Good Charlotte is pretty good for this too, or Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

 

[Bonoa]

Or Metallica and Slayer when you've really had it!!!

 

[DaveC]

Playing music really hard always helps.

Boys and girls from Good Charlotte is pretty good for this too, or Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

There is never a good reason to play anything by Good Charlotte.

I'm not just talking about playing loud music and feeling angry and bitter (ie Metallica or Slayer - that's not at all what I'm getting at). I mean it when I say it will help to listen to Bob Dylan. Blood on the Tracks was written by Dylan during an absolutely brutal divorce, and it's about losing love and finding the strength to go on, and realizing that life isn't over and could be better in the future. Seriously man, it's really the greatest breakup album of all time. If you listen to it, I promise you'll feel a whole lot better afterwards, whereas with any of the other mentioned bands in the last post, you'll just feel pissed off.

 

[DRay9911]

in this type of situation, i have always felt music works best in a dark and smokey room where a girl named cinnamon or jasmin is on stage twirling around a long silver pole.

but that's just me.

-dan