Ali Rose
New Yorker
Oh man i apoligize in advance for the massively loserish whining session that is about to begin.
I am seriously depressed here. I dont normally spill emotions like this but everyone reaches a breaking point and i guess i dont really know who else to tell this to other than you guys.
I'm so sick of being alone. I'm not even talking about a Boyfriend at this point. I'd settle for a good close/best friend that i really click with. Every time i begin to get one i lose em. I've lost at least 5 good potential girlfriends to boyfriends just in the last couple years. (one just a couple weeks ago) Every guy I ever have any ammount of feelings for never returns them. I only attract people i dont seem to click with myself. I do have a few friends but only the ones that only call you when they want something or need a shoulder to cry on. Which i always gladly offer but I can only give so much. Then when i just cant anymore i get huge guilt trips and beat myself up for being a bad friend.
I come here to just be by myself and relax and not think about things. I do really enjoy time by myself lately. I almost feel as though i've been losing social skills. I'm much more introverted than i used to be - like i get all nervous and self concious meeting new people and stuff. This is not like me.
There is clearly something I'm doing wrong in relationships and I wish i could figure it out. I feel as though All my relationships are shallow and nothing i say means anything to anyone. I feel so worthless and stupid and uninteresting and ugly and just tired. I am running out of motivation for life. I'm terribly sensitive and moody lately. I try everyday to be a better person but it feels like at the end of every day i've taken one step forward and two steps back.
I guess thats the price I pay for being the stable one, but lemme tell ya. Its damn lonely at the top. I just cant do this alone anymore.
I dont know what to do. Someone hug me.
I am seriously depressed here. I dont normally spill emotions like this but everyone reaches a breaking point and i guess i dont really know who else to tell this to other than you guys.
I'm so sick of being alone. I'm not even talking about a Boyfriend at this point. I'd settle for a good close/best friend that i really click with. Every time i begin to get one i lose em. I've lost at least 5 good potential girlfriends to boyfriends just in the last couple years. (one just a couple weeks ago) Every guy I ever have any ammount of feelings for never returns them. I only attract people i dont seem to click with myself. I do have a few friends but only the ones that only call you when they want something or need a shoulder to cry on. Which i always gladly offer but I can only give so much. Then when i just cant anymore i get huge guilt trips and beat myself up for being a bad friend.
I come here to just be by myself and relax and not think about things. I do really enjoy time by myself lately. I almost feel as though i've been losing social skills. I'm much more introverted than i used to be - like i get all nervous and self concious meeting new people and stuff. This is not like me.
There is clearly something I'm doing wrong in relationships and I wish i could figure it out. I feel as though All my relationships are shallow and nothing i say means anything to anyone. I feel so worthless and stupid and uninteresting and ugly and just tired. I am running out of motivation for life. I'm terribly sensitive and moody lately. I try everyday to be a better person but it feels like at the end of every day i've taken one step forward and two steps back.
I guess thats the price I pay for being the stable one, but lemme tell ya. Its damn lonely at the top. I just cant do this alone anymore.
I dont know what to do. Someone hug me.