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Ali Rose

New Yorker
Joined
Jan 6, 2002
Messages
2,718
Location
Mpls, MN USA
Oh man i apoligize in advance for the massively loserish whining session that is about to begin.

I am seriously depressed here. I dont normally spill emotions like this but everyone reaches a breaking point and i guess i dont really know who else to tell this to other than you guys.

I'm so sick of being alone. I'm not even talking about a Boyfriend at this point. I'd settle for a good close/best friend that i really click with. Every time i begin to get one i lose em. I've lost at least 5 good potential girlfriends to boyfriends just in the last couple years. (one just a couple weeks ago) Every guy I ever have any ammount of feelings for never returns them. I only attract people i dont seem to click with myself. I do have a few friends but only the ones that only call you when they want something or need a shoulder to cry on. Which i always gladly offer but I can only give so much. Then when i just cant anymore i get huge guilt trips and beat myself up for being a bad friend.

I come here to just be by myself and relax and not think about things. I do really enjoy time by myself lately. I almost feel as though i've been losing social skills. I'm much more introverted than i used to be - like i get all nervous and self concious meeting new people and stuff. This is not like me.

There is clearly something I'm doing wrong in relationships and I wish i could figure it out. I feel as though All my relationships are shallow and nothing i say means anything to anyone. I feel so worthless and stupid and uninteresting and ugly and just tired. I am running out of motivation for life. I'm terribly sensitive and moody lately. I try everyday to be a better person but it feels like at the end of every day i've taken one step forward and two steps back.

I guess thats the price I pay for being the stable one, but lemme tell ya. Its damn lonely at the top. :sad: I just cant do this alone anymore.

I dont know what to do. Someone hug me. :scream:
 
I don't mean to sound harsh or mean, because I'm not...but stop being a doormat! It sounds like you are attracting users, people who only want you if they need something. Yes, it's good that your are there for your friends when they need them, however, if they are not there for you when you need them, how fair is that to you? If the people around you are only concerned with themselves, are they the type of people you really want to be around.
 
db :up:
that being said

ali, let us be your doormat today....

go ahead... lay it on us...
 
:hug:

I feel the same way as you do. All of my friends are either married with kids or on their way to becoming married with kids. It's hard.

It's even harder now because I'm living with my parents. I've had a temp job for a year that could have ended any time. It ended last week. I'm really scared about finding a job. I haven't been able to find one since I graduated 2 years ago. I need to work but I don't know where or what to do.

It's really hard watching everyone I know being successful adults, including my sister who is 4 years younger than me. I'm more worried about the job aspect of my life than boyfriend aspect but I need that too. :mad: I need someone to hug and hug me back.

On the other hand, just when you least expect it, something good comes along. I'm a firm believer in good things come to those who wait.

Be thankful for what you do have. I know it's not always easy to sit back and say that but it's true. Trust me. There's a lot of people who are worse off than you are.

Maybe it's the cold and snow. I'm not trying to make a joke here but it's true. I always feel like crap this time a year no matter what's going on in my life.

Cheer up Ali Rose! You'll find what your looking for!

:hug:
 
Come to California...

All joking aside, I understand your frustrations, cause I share a lot of them. I seem to always be the one people come to for advice or comfort, but I'll be damned if I can find someone I like who likes me as more than a friend, or at least likes me as more than a friend at the same time I like them as more than a friend. And I don't really have a person that I can go to for advice and comfort anymore. :huh:

A year ago or two years ago, I'd be able to say "well, at least I've still got one good friend who'll be there no matter what," but now I'm not even so sure about that. The friendship is there, but the foundation is shaky at best, and it's really frustrating and a bit frightening to lose something that's been such a constant for almost half of my life.

I'd like to think that I'm becoming more independent, and in a sense I am, but I've always been most comfortable around people who know me well, and apart from family, I don't really have that many people around who know me well. I need a change of scenery, but then i also need the money to afford the change of scenery... :slant:

I'm sorry you're down - but don't let the bad run in relationships/friendships make you feel worthless or stupid or ugly or uninteresting. You're an intelligent, witty, beautiful girl, don't let anyone or anything persuade you into thinking otherwise. Sometimes even the best of us hit bad runs in life. :hug:
 
I know I'm not really the one who should talk here (because I tend to whine too), but try not to be so hard on yourself.

:hug:
 
LOL...it seems like a lot of us are in the same boat--myself included. It has been difficult living such a "transitory" life as I have been living, and it has been even more difficult moving to a completely new city 763.59 miles (thank you, MapQuest :sexywink:) from where I started. Considering an M.A. is only two years, and, unless I can get into MIT for a Ph.D program, I will probably be moving again (maybe Cali this time?).

Anyhow, I guess the point of my babbling here is that there are many people in your situation, and, quite frankly, 22 is a difficult age, because we don't know exactly where we fit into this world anymore, and we are forced to redefine where we are on our own. The friendships and relationships that we relied on only a few years ago are changing, and, as much as we might not like it, it is an inevitability.

So maybe it is time to reevaluate what you want in life, before you are forced to settle down completely. Ask yourself if this is the kind of job you want, if this is the place you want to live, etc., and consider making changes. In other words, take a leap of faith, and see where it takes you! Certainly, taking chances might be scary, but, for me, regret is even more frightening. :eek:

BTW, your problem with social skills was my last two years of my undergrad education...lol. Trust me. They come back. :)

I would also suggest that, if you aren't already, consider exercising regularly. It will level out your emotions, and you'll feel better. Take care!

Melon
 
Oh, Tiff, sweetie....PM me, we need to talk. :hug:

Sometimes I feel the same way. As you know, I lost a few friends last year as well, and even though I'm way over why it happened (they were never my friends in the first place) it still puzzles me as to why I don't really have a lot of friends here to talk to as well as I can talk to some of you guys on here. :shrug: Maybe a lot of me is too much to take, or something like that... I dunno, but it's frustrating as hell. I'd love to go out more than I already do, just the 'resources' aren't there. :|

We should talk, girl. You have my digits if you need an ear. :hug: :hug:
 
I think this IS really common with most people our age. I feel EXACTLY the same way (except for the boyfriend part). The only friends I have live in different parts of the country (the closest are 700 miles from here in Kentucky) or in England! I haven't seem most of them in over a year, and we really don't keep in touch very well.

I have absolutely NO social skills. I spend 100% of non-work time by myself. I feel really uncomfortable around people I don't know and it's really exhausting for me to be around most people for long periods of time. One of my coworkers is my age, and we get along okay, but I never do anything with her outside of work because I'd rather just be by myself.

I feel really guilty because I'm SO dependent on the two people I talk to on a regular basis, and I'm sure they're sick of hearing me whine all the time about everything.

I'm moving in a couple of months, which is great, but I'm terrified because I have to give everything up and start over again from nothing. Everything I own that I can't fit into two suitcases, I'll have to throw/give away. Then I'll be living for a year and a half on a VERY small amount of savings and I have to hope I can find a job after that and not get deported. It's so stressful to think about, and I don't even know where to start when it comes to moving.

Anyway, I agree with Melon. Think about where you want to be and what you want to be doing, and try to get there.

Hope you start to feel better soon. :hug:
 
:banghead: One more outburst like this from me and i'll ban my own self from the board. bad day. Sorry.

Thanks all the same guys. :hug:

:heart: ya.
 
Your response just confirms your initial post.
All these people had such wonderful things to say and seem like they can totally relate to you, and this is your response?

:shame:
 
Dont run away.. I'm sorry I didnt mean to be mean! I was actually going to respond until I read your reply. Everyone was really cool I thought, and took the time to reply and it just seemed like you were saying you didnt mean to post it and like "thanks anyway but forget it."

Sorry.. I'm not making any sense :reject: :hug:
 
TIffy babbbbbyyyyyy-


i just called you :sexywink:


Public confession:

Whenever I'm with Tiff I have the best time of my life and whether she believes it or not she makes me laugh so hard all the time. I revere her as one of my finest friends, extremely caring, generous, hilarious, intelligent, beautiful, shit if I had a brother her age I'd make him date her so I could incorporate her into family functions. When I moved all the way out to South Dakota she mentioned how just when we started getting close I left. And this is true, but when I was so homesick I wanted to die in those first few weeks Tiff was on my speed dial all the time, and she was always there to comfort me. And when she's down I'm there to help her, it's a great friendship we have and I wouldn't give it up for the world. I saw her this weekend after not having been home for months, and when she called me I was delighted to hear her say "want to do something?". After serious dinner the laugh quotient went up and we played games and just goofed around. I really wish I could live in her apartment for real :sigh:

So anyway, the point of that post is: Tiff, you're one of the best people I know and I hope that you recognize your present valley but keep your eyes on the top of the mountain, it's only a matter of time until you're back on top. :) :hug:

:heart: ya girl!
 
Ali Rose said:
:banghead: One more outburst like this from me and i'll ban my own self from the board. bad day. Sorry.

Thanks all the same guys. :hug:

:heart: ya.

Don't even think of banning yourself fro the board. We are here to listen and support you. You are a GOOD person, and don't let anybody else tell you different. :hug:
 
not that my post here will matter, or i could go ignored, and you could probably get mad at me for saying this...but damn, look at all these people who care about you, ali. talk about unjustly whining. and from what i can see on this thread, you have a few friends who really love you. unjustly whining? i think you said it best. you seem like you'll always come out on top. you'll be ok.
 
Ali Rose said:
Oh man i apoligize in advance for the massively loserish whining session that is about to begin.

I am seriously depressed here. I dont normally spill emotions like this but everyone reaches a breaking point and i guess i dont really know who else to tell this to other than you guys.

I'm so sick of being alone. I'm not even talking about a Boyfriend at this point. I'd settle for a good close/best friend that i really click with. Every time i begin to get one i lose em. I've lost at least 5 good potential girlfriends to boyfriends just in the last couple years. (one just a couple weeks ago) Every guy I ever have any ammount of feelings for never returns them. I only attract people i dont seem to click with myself. I do have a few friends but only the ones that only call you when they want something or need a shoulder to cry on. Which i always gladly offer but I can only give so much. Then when i just cant anymore i get huge guilt trips and beat myself up for being a bad friend.

I come here to just be by myself and relax and not think about things. I do really enjoy time by myself lately. I almost feel as though i've been losing social skills. I'm much more introverted than i used to be - like i get all nervous and self concious meeting new people and stuff. This is not like me.

There is clearly something I'm doing wrong in relationships and I wish i could figure it out. I feel as though All my relationships are shallow and nothing i say means anything to anyone. I feel so worthless and stupid and uninteresting and ugly and just tired. I am running out of motivation for life. I'm terribly sensitive and moody lately. I try everyday to be a better person but it feels like at the end of every day i've taken one step forward and two steps back.

I guess thats the price I pay for being the stable one, but lemme tell ya. Its damn lonely at the top. :sad: I just cant do this alone anymore.

I dont know what to do. Someone hug me. :scream:

*high fives ali

*cyber hugs ali

*high fives ali

:)
 
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