im too sensitive.

[cell]

everytime i get my feelings hurt, i cry at the drop of a hat. im talking tears welling up, throat tight, day is ruined...all that crap. and its at the most stupidest things ever. i wont even give examples. its too embarrassing.

i really dont want to be overly sensitive anymore but i seriously cant help it. and i wish i could!

any advice on how to toughen up?

 

[Caroni]

How old are you?

 

[cell]

lol. 36.

 

[Caroni]

Sorry to ask is just that I used to be like you when I was younger but with time I got better, I´m still like that except that now my "downs" last for less time and they don´t ruin my day Don´t let bad things bring you down. My advice is don´t think to much about the thing that hurts you and let it go if it is something about a person I first think about how I´m gonna take " revenge" and then of course never do it , with time it really doesn´t matter and looking back I always laugh . sometimes people really don´t know that they hurt you







Edit to say: I hope I make sense

 

[UberBeaver]

Fight back.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Do you really want to change a fundamental part of yourself, Icelle, or would it be better to just manage it in a different way?

Individuals and the collective 'people' need to be more sensitive in the grander scheme of things, I reckon. Do you really want to toughen up so that the result is a more stoic you? Do you want to be unmoved by even the small things?

... Or do you want to manage your existing sensitivity to even these small things? I know what I'd rather. How to actually go about this is what I don't know. I think being at peace with what and who you are is a good place to start. I'm not suggesting you're not in general, but you might not be with this aspect of who you are.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Angela makes sense again.

I can relate, icelle. It's gotten better and I can usually contain my emotions with a smile and then deal with them when I'm alone. Sometimes it's good to show them, too, though.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I'm hoping the Jim Nabors albums had nothing to do with this... feel better!

 

[redhotswami]

there's nothing wrong with who you are. you know, if we didn't have people that reacted to the things we did we'd never know the effect we have on others or really understand the consequences of our actions. it provides perspective.

now on the flipside of that, perhaps you can also consider the perspective of others that upset you. although it may not be easy to tell yourself this in the heat of the moment, try to remember that other people may not be at the same emotional level you are. so often times I'm sure they don't expect your reaction, so the harm it caused was probably unintentional.

i don't know if any word of that makes sense, but in short i think what i'm getting at is just to remember people don't mean to hurt you, and that you are fine as your are.

 

[cell]

I'm hoping the Jim Nabors albums had nothing to do with this... feel better!

lol, imagine waking up to the image of jim nabors albums staring at you from across the room!


angela, i guess i want to change a part of myself. i know im loved the way i am, but i feel useless if i keep breaking down in tears over every little dagger thrown my way. i just want to be stronger and for once i would love to stop thinking about what other people think of me.

 

[JanuaryStar]

I can relate to you, icelle. I think some people just can cope better with things than others can, aka some people are just more sensitive than others. There's nothing really wrong with that. But when you're crying/feeling bad over something that you feel is really minor, you could just sit for a while and think to yourself what exactly is going on here? Do I really need to feel bad about this? Is it really necessary? Whenever I feel 'hurt' over something that in my opinion is just really tiny, then I tell myself to get a grip, that I'm only hurting myself more with feeling this way - this may sound stupid or something but it can help. Also, I've gained more confidence in myself over the past few years, which really helped a lot. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger - always. Have faith in yourself, because you are you and that's what makes you so unique

 

[kafrun]

It's hard not to internalize everything and interpret the worst from people's words and motivations. I know, I can be the same way. Even when someone really is out to hurt you, remember it's about them not you, and their perception of reality. To a degree, I think it has to do with your own perception of yourself and the negative things you may be subconciously telling yourself over and over. You have to look at that too, because if you have a good self-image, it'll be harder to let people bring you down /rambling

 

[BEAL]

I take everything to heart. I also say what I'm feeling as well.

It's a good and a bad. It's trying to find the balance that's very difficult for me.

 

[MooMoo!]

I have a problem at wanting to cry if Im shouted at or something annoys or upsets me, like bad news or whatever. I dont understand why, cos usually Im not upset in a sad say, Im usually angry, and if I so much as open my mouth the tears well up.

I dont remember being like this when I was younger. Can bottling up emotions do this to you? cos I have a tendancy to do that.

 

[mysticchild]

I am also a very emotional person. I would wear my heart on my sleeve all the time and there are some people out there who consider it a weakness and like to bully. Through the years I have come to a place where I dont allow other people to ruin my day. If I am upset it is because I am allowing it to control me. I have been told I can change how I feel and start my day over at anytime. I am a recovering alcoholic so that is also a sign of a person who is overly emotional. Have you ever gone to therapy and talked about your feelings? I dont mean to get to personal but also it is the way we were brought up that conditions us to act out in certain ways. I came from a family of no support and when I felt hurt I was reprimanded. I also have just turned 40 in the last couple of weeks so it has been a difficult time for me and also considering it is the Holidays too. I just try to have faith in a power greater than myself and when I let go I feel better because I do realize I have no control over people, places and things, just my own. God bless

 

[RedRocksU2]

*Concentrate on the people that care for you.
*Erase all "friendships" that cause you pain.
*Place all the people here on "Ignore" that are negative towards you. Most important; Do not open their comments, I know that it's tempting...but don't.

 

[Muldfeld]

everytime i get my feelings hurt, i cry at the drop of a hat. im talking tears welling up, throat tight, day is ruined...all that crap. and its at the most stupidest things ever. i wont even give examples. its too embarrassing.

i really dont want to be overly sensitive anymore but i seriously cant help it. and i wish i could!

any advice on how to toughen up?

Honestly, it's not as simple as toughening up. There are probably unconscious issues that leave you vulnerable to people being mean to you. I have a similar problem. The best advice is therapy with a psychologist who's understanding. Psychiatrists feed off your vulnerability and will make you feel worse than you are.

It's about self-esteem and all kinds of issues. It's complex. Often friends and family are the ones who can hurt you the most. Don't let people tell you it's your fault, either. There's a culture of meanness in our society -- that you're not worthy unless you're Darwinian in your competitiveness. That attitude is the wrong way. There's a happy balance that someone professional can help you find.

Take care.

 

[JanuaryStar]

*Concentrate on the people that care for you.
*Erase all "friendships" that cause you pain.
*Place all the people here on "Ignore" that are negative towards you. Most important; Do not open their comments, I know that it's tempting...but don't.

Very good advice to begin with

 

[Canadiens1131]

Take chances.
Make mistakes...
Get messy!

 

[kafrun]

^ agreed completely

 

[Mr. BAW]

*Concentrate on the people that care for you.
*Erase all "friendships" that cause you pain.
*Place all the people here on "Ignore" that are negative towards you. Most important; Do not open their comments, I know that it's tempting...but don't.

 

[RedRocksU2]

what?

 

[anitram]

I don't think that this is really a problem unless you feel that it interferes with your daily life.

I can think of one student I supervised in the lab, however, who would cry at the drop of a hat. Seriously, you couldn't give the girl constructive criticism without her bursting into tears. And it was for basic stuff like "Can you put a pair of gloves on, you really shouldn't be handling ethidium bromide with your bare hands as it is quite carcinogenic?" She'd burst into tears. I think that level of sensitivity is crippling because you can't really teach the person and you almost can't say anything to them at all that will be misconstrued. I know I had a lot of trouble assigning her to do experiments with other people because they just felt really jumpy around her all the time.

So my feeling is, in the extreme cases like that, people should probably learn how to accept some level of criticism (especially comments that aren't even criticism!). But if you're not in that group, then I would hesitate to tell you to basically change your personality.

 

[cell]

thanks for all the replies and advice. i will take them to heart!

 

[Earl-Of-IMDb]

I am a guy and I can honestly say that I'm very sensitive. and i have similar problems that you have, and the best way is to face your fears, I do. do not let them eat you up, don't hide under your bed when problems come your way(as i was thinking of doing lol) just keep pressing forward!