I'm so !!@?%!* tired of this ! (celibacy rant)

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Naya

Refugee
Joined
Jan 20, 2001
Messages
2,142
Location
Brisbane (with Montreal in my heart!)
Alright here's the deal: I'm going out tonight, with my two girlfriends and their boyfriends. Yup, I'm going out with two lovey dovey couples. :help: Although I am happy to see my best friend, but Im so fucking tired of being like the third wheel (or for this case, the 5th wheel. ha.ha.) I do know that my girlfriends could make the effort of inviting some good looking boy to keep me company, yet it's always the same scenario. I just don't get it: They know that I HATE my single status, that I'm lonely, etc. but still they're always bringing their freaking boyfriends. I wouldn't mind a girls night out, if they could detach from their boyfriends for one night, but NO ! Granted, I do get along fabulously with my best friend's boyfriend, but still. You might be asking: "Well, Naya just don't go out tonight" but it's Saturday, I haven'T been out for a while and I want to get out of the house !

I know that my best friend's boyfriend has some single male friends. They are all attractive (well the two of them that are single)..I do know that my friend's boyfriend thinks I'm, well, good looking, interesting, bla bla,(and, um other things too :eek:). Don't worry he loves her, he's not my type, and she's the one he loves, and I do know that he has told his male friends that of all my best friend's friends I'm the one whom he thinks is the most attractive..But I just don't understand why he never brings along his male friends ! I have ranted so much to them about how I was looking for someone and told them to introduce me to some guys. I mean, just for a night, I don't want a marriage proposal, I just want to hang out with a guy, just as friends, even. I DON'T CARE ! I just don't want to drink my beer and dance alone while the two couples are grabbing each other's arses and necking !:scream: I don't want to get hit on by slimy, drunk, horny guys either that are at the club just to find someone for the night...I just want someone to keep me company and talk with (and maybe flirt with) !

Alright I know I'm not this sexy babe, but I do consider myself an interesting person who knows how to have fun, (but who's maybe a bit too shy)...But still that's no reason to think that my shyness will get in the way of finding a boyfriend !

So is anyone in the same situation as I am? Who thinks their friends should be a bit more considerate and make an effort? Who are tired of being the third wheel? Who would like to see their friends for one night WITHOUT their boyfriend/girlfriend accompanying them ?

Or am I just whiny? :crack:
 
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:hug: I do know how you feel Naya.

Most of my friends are either married or have a bf. My friends are ok with me being single...but for instance, when I visit one of my friends with her mom or her family they're all like "do you have a bf yet?" stuff like that.

I wouldn't say I exactly feel like a third wheel, and my friends are always nice about it, and from time to time it's just us girls going out... But I do get tired of the "single" status sometimes, especially when we're all together and I'm the only single one.

I'm 33 and I've never had a bf :shrug:
 
Why don't *you* suggest the night out and bill it as "Girl's Night Out" That way you are planning it and you are doing the inviting. And if they plan it, and you are guyless, ask them if they could invite someone else to come along because you feel like a fifth whee. I know that is how things work with my girlfriends and I.
 
I hear ya, Naya. It really, really sucks. mine do exactly the same thing; the one time my one friend did try to set me up with a guy, we were just, well, a little too different.....and since that she hasn't tried, and no one else helps either. Maybe the new group of friends I am getting will help me out a bit because I too am too shy to ask a guy myself. things just don't work that way for me.

but at the same time, once people get to know me, I am anything but shy and (hopefully) fun to be around too!! it's just that first step that's hard and yes, I would like some help too. But then again I guess it's not their problem......

anywho, yah i know whatya mean :yes:
 
ABEL said:
Most of my friends are either married or have a bf. My friends are ok with me being single...but for instance, when I visit one of my friends with her mom or her family they're all like "do you have a bf yet?" stuff like that.
you sound like bridget jones. :)

:hug:
 
I feel like this lately, too.

Seems like every one of my friends has someone, or at least someone they're interested in seriously, and what do I have? No one! :scream:

Well, not entirely true. I've got right now, two guys who would probably give their right arm to be my boyfriend (not saying this arrogantly, btw). I know I won't have any right to bitch after this, but, the thing is, I don't want either of them that way. I'd prefer to stay friends with them.

Right now my top priorities aren't even in that area. I need a job, a car, then I can worry about a social life.

:sad:

Hope things look up for the rest of ya.
 
I feel the same way all the time Naya! but now my friends are all married or are close to being married so they dont even go out that much with me anymore!
 
Naya! :hug:

As you well know, I know exactly how you feel! Dont worry deary, you arent the only one out there. And whats this about you not being attractive?! Interference is full of lovely looking women Naya and I am putting you in my top 5! :sexywink: hehe...

Go out...enjoy the night and you never know what will happen! And...if something does happen...I want all the details! :sexywink: :macdevil:

:hug: :kiss:
 
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Can I join the "Why am I the only one without a BF club too"

I know how you feel.... what I find insulting is when my friends try to fix me up.....and how they think I should have a bf. The only problem is these guys are not my type...the last set up I went on, the guy to turned to be a narrow minded bigot, seriously.

:banghead:
 
Yeah, I get pissed at my best friends girl, because I know she?s NOT the right one.
 
Naya said:
I do know that my girlfriends could make the effort of inviting some good looking boy to keep me company, yet it's always the same scenario. I just don't get it: They know that I HATE my single status, that I'm lonely, etc. but still they're always bringing their freaking boyfriends.



Maybe they dont know how you feel??

You said
I do know that my girlfriends could make the effort of inviting some good looking boy to keep me company
maybe you should invite someone to go with you cus how can you expect your friends to find someone to go with you, you r the one who is fed up of being the single one so maybe u should invite someone along??


I hope that didnt sound rude cus it wasnt supposed to :slant:
 
Thanks to everyone who replied so far. :hug: Looking back on what I wrote yesterday, I think I shared a bit too much information. Sorry for that. :eek:

Anyway, yes, I try to plan girls night out, but they never work out!One of my friends will tell me about a week in advance that she wants to go out just us girls, but at the last minute she'll ask if her boyfriend can come because they haven't seen enough of each other during the week. I swear, these girls are too dependent on their boyfriend and it makes me go. But I do know that I should tell her completely how I feel about this. It's so rare that I see her without her siamese twin..I mean, her boyfriend. :D

My friends do know how I feel, yet one of them always asks me "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?" :| Last night my best friend told me she went out w/ her boyfriend and his friend...I was like: "Why didn't you invite me?" This has happened so many times....Though they did try to set me up this summer (after months of asking them). And the two times we did see each other, it went well and I got some pretty good feedback from my friend and her bf, but then, abruptly, he wasn't interested in getting into a serious relationship with anyone. (or maybe just with me? :crack: But I don't mind because the guy wanted a Barbie type kind of girl :tsk: )

When I look back on it, the problem is much bigger than this. There's some issues I have to resolve with my friends (mostly my best friend), and that would need another ZC thread :|. I think I need to expand my circle of friends, and start some new activities (when I'll have the money).

So yeah basically I'm just tired of being the only singleton and feeling lonely....and I would just like my friends to realize that.

bono vox you don't come across as rude, and that is good advice, thanks.

daisybean, poor you !

(Btw last night we ended up going to play pool, and actually one of my friends and her bf didn't show up).

Anyway sorry for ranting so much about this, and thank you to the two sweet guys who sent me the pm's. ;)

Edited to say :I hope one day all of us single gals will find our Marc Darcy...:D

image11.jpg
 
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It was the word celibacy that attracted me to your thread naya

OLD WIVES TALE warning.....

I adore my "girl's nights out". Me and my 3 best women friends all happen to be married to men who abhore going out for the evening. After a while we realised this is getting ridiculous, so now about every 6 weeks,we go out without them. Oh I love those nights.

Anyway, last get together , Elvis anniversary August16, so much sadness. One woman's husband just wanders off for ,2 weeks at a time, no contact, just disappears. She normally keeps everything inside, but something about Elvis and the night....her old man hasn't touched her in nearly a year.
So that is a theory I came up with from that night. For those who are married and believe in fidelity, but their partner shuns them, it is like forced celibacy. Very very sad-making.
I
just thought I'd share that to give you another perspective of the possibilities out there.

Don't feel like a 3rd of 5th wheel. Feel like the one who really has it going on, head up sister...I agree with bono-man...you are beautiful.
 
Naya, i understand 100% of what you are going through. I am the one person in my social circle who is single. I am tired of all of the bullshit questions that i get about being single. I am waiting for my Marc Darcy to knock on my door. I love having friends who are all married, or have a serious boyfriend. it makes my evenings and weekends oh so exciting :rolleyes: :yawn: :banghead:

and whenever we have our Ladies Night it turns out to be nothing but a boring lame evening with conversation about their husbands and their babies. I really at times want to put my head through a wall.
:banghead: :yell:
 
daisybean said:
Can I join the "Why am I the only one without a BF club too"


Hahaha...yeah me too. I always get the same thing from my freinds....you're so funny/fun to be with/pretty/blah blah blah...but still I'm like the invisible woman. Really, I go out a lot, meet people....who the hell knows. Maybe I have cooties. :crack:

:lmao:
 
~LadyLemon~ said:


Hahaha...yeah me too. I always get the same thing from my freinds....you're so funny/fun to be with/pretty/blah blah blah...but still I'm like the invisible woman. Really, I go out a lot, meet people....who the hell knows. Maybe I have cooties. :crack:

:lmao:

Screw that, girl.

Let's just become The Lemon Sisters, and leave it at that! :sexywink: :mac: We'd just hafta fight over Larry and Dan. :angel:
 
i hope i find my mark darcy soon

Naya said:
Who would like to see their friends for one night WITHOUT their boyfriend/girlfriend accompanying them ?

*raises hand*

Luckily, most of my friends are singletons like me, but I have one very close friend who is PERMANENTLY ATTACHED to her boyfriend. I do think her bf's a great guy and I don't mind hanging out with him, but sometimes I'd like to do stuff just with her. And it's not like they're just at the beginning of their relationship- they've been dating for two and half years. Do they really have to spend every available moment together? I hope I'm not like that when I have a serious boyfriend.


:hug: to Naya and all you singletons out there!
 
Hey Naya, I'm a singleton too and I'm in Montreal so we should have a girls' night out! Me and my other singleton friends have one very once in a while and we have a blast. Every once in a while a boy will tag along but it's ok as long as there's not too much necking going on:rolleyes:

Argh, men, who needs them (except for Bono, now that's another story:love:...)
 
lady lemonade said:
Argh, men, who needs them (except for Bono, now that's another story:love:...)

:yes: :love:

We should actually go out lady l...no boys allowed.

And thx to all the lovely single girlies who have replied so far...We should organize an Interference girls night out...in Dublin, maybe? :laugh:
 
now that would be dahling, dahling
i say we start at oliver st john gogarty's!
 
*raises hand*

i've been at college for 2 weeks now and EVERYONE is starting to pair off and hang out together...already my group of friends is pairing and so forth...i wouldn't mind 'cept that no one wants to pair with me :(...so that's not cool. meh...maybe later...*optimism*

so can i join the lemon sisters?

:lemon:
 
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