I'm Really Starting to Feel Like a Loser!

[TripThruUreWires]

My self-confidence has really been trampled on, beaten, chewed and spit out over these past couple weeks!

In in the midst of looking for a job these past couple weeks, not only have potential employers rejected me, they didn't even have the courtesy to return my calls to let me know where i stand.

Ok, so you might be thinking, "Well, a lot of companies pull this manuever". However, I'm referring to small scale and private companies requiring low-to-moderate-skilled work (i.e. a retail stores and childcare centers).

My self-confidence is really starting to wane i tell you! Mainly for several reasons: I have extensive experience as an assistant retail manager and I hold an australian degree in early childhood teaching and leadership (with some hands-on experience). My interviewing skills are not great, but at the same time they are far from atrocious. I am an able-bodied and generally warm, sociable individual. I've never been fired from a job or have left without notice. I'm not a psychopath. I don't have a criminal record. I know for a fact there are not a sleu of highly qualified people applying for these positions. I'm neither extremely young or extremely old. etc.

What else do they desire for these sort of positions? Is there something that i am so utterly deficient in that I am not even fit to hold these sort of jobs? Am i overreacting/Am i neurotic?

I suppose what makes me feel even worse is that prior to coming to singapore i had been hired for every single job position i'd ever applied for. So why am i beginning to feel like an incompetent loser here in singapore?

I honestly have no qualms about being a "housewife" (with a degree), especially since i would prefer to stay at home with my daughter...but, for goodness sake, I need to start bringing in money, as its very difficult to live comfortably in a city on just one stream of income (i.e. my husbands). (call me backwards if you want, but I can't wait to return to bucolic living)

 

[fah]

Perhaps you are over qualified for the positions you are applying for? I know some employers who think that someone who is over qualified will leave as soon as something better comes along. Make sure you emphasize in your cover letter and resume how interested you are in working for and remaining in the job you are applying for.

Good luck, you are not a loser, everyone has been there, including me.

 

[Angela Harlem]

The retail positions are quite possibly discriminating, even subtley based on the fact you have a baby at home. I found when I clawed my way back to work, the one thing most of them were interested in was my childcare arrangements. They see mothers as a potential problem with taking excessive time off 'for family reasons'. I am quite sure they have no right to ask this, but obviously in an interview we are out to impress and will answer anyway. Saying she was in a registered childcare centre was better than unreliable family and friends as carers. As shitty as it is, make sure you stress that you are very keen to get back to working and have made every possible arrangement to see your daughter will not interfere with your work. Because as it is, you are probably going to have family issues crop up unexpectedly due to her being sick and whatever. In childcare as you know, illness is rife and its only a matter of time before you need to take some time off.
But of the 2 choices you've picked, it makes no sense that you would be unemployable. Retail is perfect for mothers as its easy work and usually has flexible hours. Childcare is one where you'd think they understand your position better than anyone.
You're not a loser. Dont give up.
Good luck.

 

[Mr. BAW]

There are companies and supervisors who fear hiring someone with too much experience, is overly qualified and too willing to work; seems like its a threat to their position...

I once interviewed for an investigator position; years ago...I was in my mid-thirties, recently divorced and was making money with my pension but I still needed and wanted to work...the interviewer told me that I was too qualified for the job and that I would bore myself...he said "I would rather hire a 50 year old fat man with 5 kids and a house; he will get the job done!"

I went over his head to the BOSS...I complained about the interview tactics and personal comments made by his department head...I accepted the job so long as I didn't work for that idiot...

5 years later, in 1994, we own our own business ... that's what they're afraid of!!!

 

[nbcrusader]

I suppose what makes me feel even worse is that prior to coming to singapore i had been hired for every single job position i'd ever applied for. So why am i beginning to feel like an incompetent loser here in singapore?

Perhaps you are encountering difficulty because you are not from Singapore. Are there jobs related to the US embassy or similar type positions that would welcome a "foreigner"?


Job hunting sucks. But remember each interview is a training ground that better prepares you for the next. I don't know how many interviews I went through before landing my current job (and I am horrible at interviews), but I got better with each one.

We'll keep it in prayer and look forward to hearing about your new job!

 

[forbonou2]

Hey Trip..u r not a loser...we all have those days! And those interviews....but don't give up!! There's alot of good advice here..and you never know if the next interview is The One! and good tip on trying something new...could be interesting! another field..something else that would add to your skills? give it a try..! PS; an, please do come back and tell us when u land Tht job,.ok?

 

[bonosloveslave]

Re: Re: I'm Really Starting to Feel Like a Loser!

Perhaps you are encountering difficulty because you are not from Singapore.

That's what I was wondering...

Are you doing at least the basic thank-you note after each interview? Many companies are big on that, they won't even consider you until your thank-you note has come in. It may help to ask at the end of interviews, "When can I expect to hear from you?" Don't give up on calling them either, sorry they've been crappy so far but don't be afraid to ask if anyone has reviewed your resume yet or has the X position been filled. Hang in there, I'll be praying for you too

 

[TripThruUreWires]

There's alot of good advice here

So true. The reason I feel so comfortable posting such issues (as boring, trite, and unspectacular as they may be) here is predominantly because there are a number of bright, wise and caring individuals who reside in this internet community known as interference (ala everyone who has already responded to my thread). sorry to sound so sappy, but i really appreciate you guys and the advice/perspectives you dispense! Sometimes. . . okay, many times, my thinking is so one-dimensional , so you guys are always an immense help. thanks!

p.s. ms. angie harlem, have you ever considered becoming an advice columnist?

 

[U2girl]

I agree with those who say that those companies don't necessarily want to hire a woman with a child. (happens everywhere; I once had to fill out a questionaire where there was actually a question when I was about to have children; 5 years, 10 years or more than 10 years. )
Either that, or for some reason they prefer hiring Singapore local people.

I dunno...are there any other job fields you have experience in, other than retail stores or childcare centre? Another kind of job that interests you and you feel you'd be good at it?

 

[Angela Harlem]

p.s. ms. angie harlem, have you ever considered becoming an advice columnist?

so people have an outlet to tell me to shut my mouth?
i freely admit i suck at advice and do need to shutup occasionally lol.
but seriously, i am surprised you are finding trouble because you are a bright intelligent person, and if you are as personable in real life as you are on here, then it is beyond not making sense and spilling into 'stupid' on their behalf.

btw, we need pics of bub!!!

 

[U2Kitten]

Start a new forum, "Ask Angie"

 

[oliveu2cm]

Re: Re: I'm Really Starting to Feel Like a Loser!

Perhaps you are encountering difficulty because you are not from Singapore. Are there jobs related to the US embassy or similar type positions that would welcome a "foreigner"?

Or maybe even books or websites that could give advice on foreigners in Singapore looking for jobs, etc.? Customs can be so different sometimes, that I wonder if you could get an edge by doing some research?

Good luck Trip. Don't beat yourself up- you're taking on a new aspect of your life, there's always bound to be bumps. Hopefully they will smooth out soon!

 

[JessicaAnn]

In in the midst of looking for a job these past couple weeks, not only have potential employers rejected me, they didn't even have the courtesy to return my calls to let me know where i stand.

Ok, so you might be thinking, "Well, a lot of companies pull this manuever". However, I'm referring to small scale and private companies requiring low-to-moderate-skilled work (i.e. a retail stores and childcare centers).

My mom works in the Human Resources department of pretty big department store chain. I remember her telling me that she gets innundated with calls and voicemail messages from people calling to check on their application--and I am not tralking about 1 or two calls a day ... more like 10 to 15 (or more) calls a day. Unfortunately, given all of her other duties she isn't able to return every single call. She does her best to return calls from people they have actually called in for an interview, but it's impossible to get back to everyone.