Tell her!
I'm in LOVE with my roommate/best friend- HELP!!!!!
- Thread starter Sicy
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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Wow, this is a toughy.... Do you have any incling at all what her reactions might be? How she is feeling?
It becomes really difficult when there is so much history involved.
Is there anyway you can try and get more of a feeling from her... so if and when you take that plunge you can be more confident in the outcome? It would be so great if she felt the same way, but if she doesn't... you could lose her forever.
Wow, I am really sorry. I am trying to be positive, but I am that girl. My best guy friend keepson pushing the envelope and even goes so far as to say 'you can't fight it, we'll be together.' Now, it is obviously not the same situation, because we openly talk and joke about it. Thing is he is serious, and I am not. We dated years ago, but I broke it off with him after a few short months. It's just not there for me, though just up until a couple years ago I always had a soft spot for him. Now, he is simply and only my friend. Unfortunately the more he pushes, kidding or not, the more he pushes me away.
I am not saying this is you guys, not at all. I am just saying be careful. While I completely support people following their heart and being true to themselves, you must weigh out all the consequences before hand. One being you could lose her for good. That being said you could both also live a long passionate life together. You have to be willing to find out... or live in wonder...
It becomes really difficult when there is so much history involved.
Is there anyway you can try and get more of a feeling from her... so if and when you take that plunge you can be more confident in the outcome? It would be so great if she felt the same way, but if she doesn't... you could lose her forever.
Wow, I am really sorry. I am trying to be positive, but I am that girl. My best guy friend keepson pushing the envelope and even goes so far as to say 'you can't fight it, we'll be together.' Now, it is obviously not the same situation, because we openly talk and joke about it. Thing is he is serious, and I am not. We dated years ago, but I broke it off with him after a few short months. It's just not there for me, though just up until a couple years ago I always had a soft spot for him. Now, he is simply and only my friend. Unfortunately the more he pushes, kidding or not, the more he pushes me away.
I am not saying this is you guys, not at all. I am just saying be careful. While I completely support people following their heart and being true to themselves, you must weigh out all the consequences before hand. One being you could lose her for good. That being said you could both also live a long passionate life together. You have to be willing to find out... or live in wonder...
bono-vox
Rock n' Roll Doggie
aw go on and tell her!
cell
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
tell her!!
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lilsparky: did you like the pics i took of my favorite band?
viktor: actually had a dream about larry mullen last night...not a gay dream but a weird dream.....
lilsparky: really?
lilsparky: what was it about?
viktor: yeah...we were going to a party and all my high school friends walked along him and then Bono rushed out and said something weird and that guy from the pouges...shane mac Gowan came and we all showered in sugar
viktor: weird
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lilsparky: did you like the pics i took of my favorite band?
viktor: actually had a dream about larry mullen last night...not a gay dream but a weird dream.....
lilsparky: really?
lilsparky: what was it about?
viktor: yeah...we were going to a party and all my high school friends walked along him and then Bono rushed out and said something weird and that guy from the pouges...shane mac Gowan came and we all showered in sugar
viktor: weird
scatteroflight
Refugee
Wow, it seems they're right when they say men and women can't be "just friends." These sort of situations keep cropping up here all the time!
I can't help much...my only experience remotely like this was falling for someone I'd been friends with for a couple of years, knowing it would never work out in a million years, and thus not telling him--just suffering horribly. And we stopped talking not long after that, for other reasons--though on my side, that was definitely a reason. We started talking again years later, just a couple of months ago. Funny, I told him about my crush on him when we talked again. I'd never done anything like that before. But it went ok...
Hope things work out (whatever that is!) for you, tackleberry...
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Your sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars
Carved into stone on the face of earth
The moon is up and over One Tree Hill
We see the sun go down in your eyes
I can't help much...my only experience remotely like this was falling for someone I'd been friends with for a couple of years, knowing it would never work out in a million years, and thus not telling him--just suffering horribly. And we stopped talking not long after that, for other reasons--though on my side, that was definitely a reason. We started talking again years later, just a couple of months ago. Funny, I told him about my crush on him when we talked again. I'd never done anything like that before. But it went ok...
Hope things work out (whatever that is!) for you, tackleberry...
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Your sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars
Carved into stone on the face of earth
The moon is up and over One Tree Hill
We see the sun go down in your eyes
Zoomerang96
ONE love, blood, life
run away from her. as tempting as it may be to tell her, the negatives seem to always outway the positives.
if i were you, i dont really know exctly what id do. but i know id never tell her in a million years.
interesting situation you got there, but to refute what i just said, you only live once, so maybe you want to think about it this way...
do you like her so much that youd rather go all out and tell her this and say screw the friendship its all or nothing, or keep things the way they are and rake your own feelings over the coals to stop your hormones from doing something potentially dangerous?
if i were you, i dont really know exctly what id do. but i know id never tell her in a million years.
interesting situation you got there, but to refute what i just said, you only live once, so maybe you want to think about it this way...
do you like her so much that youd rather go all out and tell her this and say screw the friendship its all or nothing, or keep things the way they are and rake your own feelings over the coals to stop your hormones from doing something potentially dangerous?
bullet the blue sky
Refugee
Do what my friend did. Run away, leave the country, and vow never to see them again.
tackleberry
War Child
So...how do I begin? Well, I have known my roommate for over 7 years now. She and I used to go out in College whilst we were Sophmores. I was an ass. I had one foot in the door and one foot out, always looking for someone else, someone better. Well, she got rid of me and said that we should "just be friends"(I really don't like those words) Suffice to say, my heart was shattered and I knew I made a mistake.
So a lot of time went by and we became very, very close friends, sort of realizing that we were better at this than lovers. Each of us fell for someone else, but her beau left after one night of passion, and my gal did the same. There we were, two heartbroken assholes in search of the same thing. And we came to the conclusion that no one in the near future was going to come close to what we felt for in that one night with these other chums.
Or so I thought...
So, now we live together in a tiny studio apartment in downtown New York City. We spend every single waking minute together and I can't even explain in words how I feel.
"We get to carry each other, carry each other"
Thats the way I feel. Its amazing and I am scared and in love with this girl and I have no idea if she feels the same. But I am also dumbfounded as to how I am going to express myself. I feel like I've got one shot to do this. It has to be noble and embarrassing and completely truthful. I have to fall on my face. I think. I was listening to "Stay" the other day and I said, "That's it! That's me, right now!" So if you want to understand my situation listen to those words and you will get it.
Thanks for listening(reading)
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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."
So a lot of time went by and we became very, very close friends, sort of realizing that we were better at this than lovers. Each of us fell for someone else, but her beau left after one night of passion, and my gal did the same. There we were, two heartbroken assholes in search of the same thing. And we came to the conclusion that no one in the near future was going to come close to what we felt for in that one night with these other chums.
Or so I thought...
So, now we live together in a tiny studio apartment in downtown New York City. We spend every single waking minute together and I can't even explain in words how I feel.
"We get to carry each other, carry each other"
Thats the way I feel. Its amazing and I am scared and in love with this girl and I have no idea if she feels the same. But I am also dumbfounded as to how I am going to express myself. I feel like I've got one shot to do this. It has to be noble and embarrassing and completely truthful. I have to fall on my face. I think. I was listening to "Stay" the other day and I said, "That's it! That's me, right now!" So if you want to understand my situation listen to those words and you will get it.
Thanks for listening(reading)
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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."
You make good points, Zoom, but I have to disagree on one major point. Romantic feelings don't automatically cancel out a friendship or end/ruin it. It's not "all or nothing" as you say. If the friendship is strong, then it will survive. It may be awkward (and darn near unbearable) for a time, but if you both have a strong friendship and lots of respect for each other, then I don't see why you wouldn't want to keep the friendship going.
Or let me put it this way. Over the course of the friendship you've gotten to know the girl very well, and you have immense respect for her as a person, as a woman, and as a friend. She's one of the best people you know. And you develop feelings for her because she is such an incredible person to you. Now would it make sense to make it an "all or nothing" decision with someone you admire so much? In my position, if she said no, there's just no way I could turn away from the friendship. It's not like the only reason I would think she's a great person is because I'm hoping she says yes. She's a great person no matter what her romantic feelings are for me. And I want to have great people around as friends, you know?
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Tackleberry, it sounds like you're very close to this person regardless of romantic feelings. It sounds like you've got a very strong friendship with her. If you think you could handle her saying no, then I think you should tell her. Like you said - make it noble and embarassing and completely truthful. But whatever you do, don't pressure her into making a decision on you. Just let her know that you do have strong feelings for her, but leave her the option to decide as she needs to in her own time. (You probably know all this already, but just in case
If it'd help, write out the way you want to say it to her...or just write out your feelings anyway - it usually helps clear my mind and focus on what needs to be said. Not that it makes me anymore eloquent when I have to say it - I was in a similar situation as you a while ago, and I think I ended up a blubbering, choked-up fool trying to get out my feelings, but I don't regret for a second doing it.
It sounds like you want her around as a friend even if she doesn't return your feelings, so as long as that's clear I say go for it, but tread cautiously. There is the chance of things getting very awkward between you for a while if she says no - especially considering you share a tiny studio apartment. But if you think you could handle that possibility, then follow your heart and do it.
Best of luck with whatever path you choose.
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Experience is something that comes just after you need it.
No, romantic feelings don't always automatically cancel out a friendship, but they do more often than not. If she says no, he's not going to be able to just care for her less. It could potentially be more than an awkward situation, but it really depends on what kind of a friendship they have. Strong or not, this is just something that he is going to have to come to terms with. It is a very valid possibility. Some women see friendship turning to romance somewhat as a betryal. The trust they once had can seem gone and could make it virtually impossible to continue as friends, let alone roommates. I am just personally talking from experience, and I have had this happen to me more often than I'd choose. It would great if I had ever shared the same feelings, but I didn't, and well... it sucks.
zoomerang II
War Child
Ignore eveything else except this:
If you don't ask, the answer is no.
Good luck!
If you don't ask, the answer is no.
Good luck!
tackleberry
War Child
You wanna know something funny? I met this girl over the weekend whom I really clicked with and I asked her out. Maybe this is what I need right now. In fact I think it is. Sorry, if I seem to be confusing my emotions, but this feels very good right now and I really want to enjoy it. So...thats all.
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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."
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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."
A|catura
Acrobat
You just need to grab a guitar and sing "Unchained Melody" to her.
Now get to it! Chin up little camper...
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"If you can walk you can dance. If you can talk you can sing."
Now get to it! Chin up little camper...
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"If you can walk you can dance. If you can talk you can sing."
Mrs. Edge
Bono's Belly Dancing Friend
There is NOTHING worse than regret, especially for things you DON'T do. Can you imagine how you would feel in 50 years when you are both married to other ppl and you tell her about this and she says that she felt the same way? It would be devastating.
A lot of what Angel says is true, but you have to decide if her love is worth the gamble. I am always putting myself out there, but I think it's worth it. Besides, if she's not interested but really cares about you, she'll not only be very flattered, but will (hopefully) put asside her initial feelings of awkwardness to put you at ease and hold onto the friendship.
A lot of what Angel says is true, but you have to decide if her love is worth the gamble. I am always putting myself out there, but I think it's worth it. Besides, if she's not interested but really cares about you, she'll not only be very flattered, but will (hopefully) put asside her initial feelings of awkwardness to put you at ease and hold onto the friendship.
tackleberry
War Child
Well, thats the most truthful thing I've heard in a long time. Thanks. And Thanks to everyone else. I will say this, I don't think that there is anything in the world that could destroy this bond. Nothing. This relationship whether romantic or not is life-long. Even if she laughed in my face and said no way Jose, sure it might be slightly awkward for a little while, but that will not change the core of who she is to me and who I am to her. So...I guess I should just go for it. Screw it! Why not. My only question is, do I go all out or just mention it out of blue, get down on my knees and ask her to be my girl? Hmmm.
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"You gotta put the women and children first, but you've got an unquenchable thirst for New York..."
zoomerang II
War Child
can you send some of the spares my way?
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In the stillness of the evening
When the sun has had its day
I heard your voice whispering...
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In the stillness of the evening
When the sun has had its day
I heard your voice whispering...
Lemon Baby
Acrobat
Well...did you tell her?
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Let her pale light in
To fill up your room
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Let her pale light in
To fill up your room
EPandAmerica
New Yorker
Originally posted by Mrs. Edge:
There is NOTHING worse than regret, especially for things you DON'T do. Can you imagine how you would feel in 50 years when you are both married to other ppl and you tell her about this and she says that she felt the same way? It would be devastating.
A lot of what Angel says is true, but you have to decide if her love is worth the gamble. I am always putting myself out there, but I think it's worth it. Besides, if she's not interested but really cares about you, she'll not only be very flattered, but will (hopefully) put asside her initial feelings of awkwardness to put you at ease and hold onto the friendship.
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