I'm going to have to do the hardest thing I've ever done in my life

[For Honor]

August 30th




It is going to be so hard. But I guess I have to do it, it's for the best. I don't have to say what it is, becaue it doesn't really matter. It will be the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I don't want to, but it is sort of inevitable.

It is so hard becaue I know I have to do it. I have to do what's right. I have to let go. I have to love.


I have to love completely by letting go...


And it is just hard.
So I might use this thread as a bit of a countdown and coping mechanism.

Thanks for reading

 

[the soul waits]

 

[Diemen]

You're young. Things will bounce back quicker than you expect.

 

[tiny dancer]

 

[XHendrix24]

 

[For Honor]

I feel better about it to day.


Songs like Walk On and of course With or Without You help.

Thanks for your support. Maybe over time I will talk about it more. Maybe not. But it is two months away, so I shouldn't focus on the bad things for now.

 

[Halifax]

"It's just a moment, this time will pass".

I won't give you a long winded answer, but just have hope. Have some light ion the darkness. A bad feeling cannot last forever.

 

[YBORCITY]

I hope everything turns out okay for you. Sometimes things that happen in life at the moment seem so bad but in time it will be always for the better.

Good Luck freind

 

[joyfulgirl]

I currently feel the same way about a situation in my life.

 

[For Honor]

I suppose I should be thankful that I don't have to "let go" of what I am holding on to completly, more so just... change.

(How could I forget to list "Stuck in a moment..."! )


It will be better, and ultimately, I will be "one step closer to knowing" the ultimate truth about the situation, I suppose. So many things are subject to perspective.

But the reluctance...

Heh, I just saw "Ronin" tonight, a so-so action movie with Robert Deniro. It was fun, but I remember a good line about reluctance...

"You're afraid?"

"I'm not reluctant because I'm happy"
heh...

I suppose I will miss my friday night family movie as well... I'm going away to college, but honestly, that isn't the main reason why I am .... why I say "i'm going to have to do the hardest thing I've ever done in my life"


(and as I write that, look what happens.... oh boy, heh)


It is going to be so hard because of my investments. For the first time I really put a lot of... my emotional side into something. And a lot of personal discoveries were made along the way, a lot of firsts. And I'll never forget that. I am a very sentimental person, I realize.


....

 

[For Honor]

About one hour passed between the last letters I entered in my above post and now.



That hour part of the reason why it will be so hard.


That hour was basically... it represented everything I could ever want.

 

[For Honor]

But I will be alright, because I know every day is one step closer to knowing the answer...





And that is one thing I guess I can't really be dissapointed to know about. I can't rush it, I can't control it, I just have to wait.

But it is worth waiting, and worth knowing, and worth ...
It was, is, and will always have been worth it - I've always said that.

I guess sometimes I forget that....