If you want to peek into my brain and observe the insanity that lies within, READ ME!

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Danospano

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As it happens, every now and then I think I know what life is all about. A revelation comes upon me and I think I know what it means to exist. Such is the feeling I have right now. Ahhh....too bad it doesn't give me any motivation to do something with my life.

Please allow me to elaborate....

I graduated from college last June, received my B.A. in Political Science: Pre-Law in July (the actual copy), and instead of going to law school I continued to tend bar in my college town. This isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life, but at the present time it is what I do.

There are many other factors that go into my state of life, which I won't get into, but consider that I'm dating a girl who I don't really feel I can leave, and I'm experiencing those revelations I mentioned earlier.

So, what are those revelations? Basically, I think that I'm destined to be/do whatever fait has in store. I believe that no matter how hard I work at something, I'm forever doomed to be a loser, a B-team player, a costume-Elvis hating, ugly, poor, fool, who will spend his whole life hoping for happiness, riches, and substance.

This feeling of hopelessness stems in the fact that my whole life, up until this moment has followed those lines. I have never been treated fairly, not that I expect anyone else has, but I do believe that people who are successful, more often than not, are privledged, wealthy, aristocrats, and not middle-class, nobody's like myself.

Is that assumption fact or falicey (sp?)? I think it is fact.

I honesly believe that I'm worth something, but try convincing someone who doesn't care? Try getting into law school, or getting a good job without being a genius or a rich-boy heir to the throne. It's damn near impossible, and I'm tired of believing that it is possible.

I don't believe in a God that one way or another how my life is going to turn out. In fact, I don't think it would care how anyone's life turned out. Come to think of it, is there even a God? If there isn't, aren't we all just wasting our time and money professing to believe in an invisible man?

Am I asking too many questions? (Now you know what I deal with every waking second of my life)



Trust me, I could ramble on and on forever about what I don't understand, so I'll cut to the end.

I don't see what purpose I have in this life. I know what I'd like to do with my life, but I don't believe that anyone will let me even explore those choices. I have encouragement from friends and family. Some of those friends are from this very website (thanks). But those words of enlightenment don't sell the idea of happiness. They sound good, but for an existentialist like myself, they only prolong the problems and make me believe that I'm the only one that sees the reality of life.

Does anyone even remotely feel the same way?

Does anyone have a better answer than, "Do what you want with your life, and have faith, and everything will work out....you'll see"?
 
Remotely feel that way, i totally relate.

however i am a bit different as i dont let anyone into my life that can actually bring these feelings out. I am the type thats always happy and funny and allways smiling, but underneath i'm totally different. I just over the past 6 months have pushed away the girl i love because i got to close. I have secrets, the secrets you never want to tell and when anyone gets close they get pushed away. Everyone allways says to me as well, oh you'll make it big kid you have that drive. What i want is money(as bad as that sounds) and with that money i want to acomplish all that i want.

Just to let you know i see where you're coming from. If you'd like to talk email me: regandec@hotmail.com
 
So that Dano may feel the love (and extra traffic) of ZC, I hath moved the thread. Hope you get some good input on this issue. :)
 
Re: If you want to peek into my brain and observe the insanity that lies within, READ ME!

Danospano said:
Does anyone have a better answer than, "Do what you want with your life, and have faith, and everything will work out....you'll see"?

This is where I think you are running into problems.

First off, where are you applying to law school? I do not know you, obviously, but I find it hard to believe that you cannot get into law school *anywhere* across the country. Assuming, however, that you cannot get into law school, what else interests you? I cannot count on my hand how many people I know who have completely divergent bachelor's and master's degrees. In fact, the sheer generality of your political science degree is to your advantage in that respect. From the way you are talking, you may have become disillusioned with the idea of law anyway, and there is no purpose in taking on a job you will dislike.

They sound good, but for an existentialist like myself, they only prolong the problems and make me believe that I'm the only one that sees the reality of life.

Ah yes...I know that feeling quite well. Ever consider media studies? I find it very fascinating and incredibly expansive--everything from video production to philosophical cultural studies is at your fingertips...but I don't know if you're interested in that kind of stuff. I'm just throwing out ideas. ;)

Overall, though, as hopeless as life gets at times, there are always alternatives, and I'd be willing to throw out ideas for you if you get more specific. The key is to be one step of the game; a "game" is really all of this is anyway. Education, though, is the first key to success.

Melon
 
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Re: If you want to peek into my brain and observe the insanity that lies within, READ ME!

Danospano said:


, but for an existentialist like myself,

:angry:
50.00$ words like this tend to aggravate me.
what the hell does these mean?
i was raised on a farm..
an explanation plez.
thank u-
db3
 
get a dictionary

diamond said:


:angry:
50.00$ words like this tend to aggravate me.
what the hell does these mean?
i was raised on a farm..
an explanation plez.
thank u-
db3

ex?is?ten?tial?ism (gz-stnsh-lzm, ks-)
n.
A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

Melon
 
thank you Melon...like Diamond, I'm a bit of a simpleton too. I've heard the term but never really knew what it meant.
 
Re: get a dictionary

melon said:


ex?is?ten?tial?ism (gz-stnsh-lzm, ks-)
n.
A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

Melon
;):wave:
 
Re: If you want to peek into my brain and observe the insanity that lies within, READ ME!

Danospano said:

This feeling of hopelessness stems in the fact that my whole life, up until this moment has followed those lines. I have never been treated fairly, not that I expect anyone else has, but I do believe that people who are successful, more often than not, are privledged, wealthy, aristocrats, and not middle-class, nobody's like myself.

Is that assumption fact or falicey (sp?)? I think it is fact.



Fallacy! This simply is NOT true.

Dano, the moment you realize YOU have the control can be the most empowering and daunting moment of your life. True, it?s easier to point out all the reasons (money, family, education, illness, looks, etc) that one is not successfully. But history tells us this is not true. Plenty of wildly successfully people have come from limited backgrounds.

Perhaps our own dear Bono said it best?

It's not why you're running
It's where you're going
It's not what you're dreaming
But what you're gonna do

It's not where you're born
It's where you belong
It's not how weak
But what will make you strong


Stop drifting Dan and set your sails. No one can do it for you!
 
anyway about this thread.....
you have no idea how much i feel like this (the general, well everything expressed in the thread)..... and the worst thing is is that i TRUELY feel like i'm the only one that feels like this, and in fact if there are others, it doesn't matter because, ultimately everyone else will get thru it except me
i feel so empty....and just so.. scared
 
Danospano said:
:sad: In what song are those lyrics found?

The song is Summer Rain (one of my favorites) . Here's the rest of the lyrics...

When you stop seeing beauty
You start growing old
The lines on your face
are a map to your soul

When you stop taking chances
You'll stay where you sit
You won't live any longer
But it'll feel like it

I lost myself in the summer rain
I lost myself
I lost myself in the summer rain
In the summer rain

Tequila and Orange
Jamaica and rum
At the Morella
Honey on my tongue

In a small boat on a generous sea
You let me be your enemy
Tiny hand
With a grip on the world
Holding our breath now
Diving for pearls

I lost myself in the summer rain
I lost myself
I lost myself in the summer rain

Just as you find me
Always I will be
A little bit too free
With myself

Just as you find me
Always I will be
A little bit too free
With myself

I lost myself in the summer rain
I lost myself
Now there's no one else
In the summer rain

Raining down
Raining down
Rain

Raining now
Raining now

Just as you find me
Always I will be
A little bit too free
With myself

Just as you find me
Always I will be
A little bit too free
With myself

It's not why you're running
It's where you're going
It's not what you're dreaming
But what you're gonna do

It's not where you're born
It's where you belong
It's not how weak
But what will make you strong
 
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