I Waited Too Long...

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Bonochick

Bonochick

Halloweenhead
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My grandma has been really sick for awhile now. Lately, she had gotten worse. I could have gone back home to visit her last weekend, but I decided I was going to wait. I was planning on going back home today to see her. I just got a phone call though...my grandma died.

I loved my grandma so much. Back home, we lived next door to each other out in the country...our driveways were even connected. I used to visit her all the time.

I can't believe I didn't go see her last weekend...I can't believe I waited too long...I missed saying goodbye by one day.

I hate myself so much right now.
 
Sorry to hear it sweetie. There is always a lot of regret when someone we love so much dies. We always wish we had been able to say one last 'I love you' and have one last day with them. We yearn for the things we can no longer do for or with that person. We rarely lose a loved one without regret. I doubt there is a lot you can do to ease those feelings. But you can add to your thoughts all the memories of the days you did spend with her, remember the little things. The big and important things. The funny things. The sad things.
You didn't have that last visit and I know its no consolation, but you dont have your last memory of her being sick. Its understandable you feel terrible about it, but you shouldn't. If she passed away knowing you loved her she would have been happy with that knowledge. You meant just as much to her as she did to you.
I'm so sorry for you loss. Please try and be kind to yourself during this hard time.
:(
 
Bonochick,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I agree with what Angela said about regret. There is always so much we think we can do ("you're in my mind all of the time, I know it's not enough") but sometimes just thinking and praying for someone is all we really can do. She knows she was loved, and was probably happy you did not have your last memory of her as a sad one, in the hospital. When my grandmother passed away, my parents did not want that for us, so we did not see her in the hospital, and now we can focus on all the wonderful times we had with her. :hug:

much love,

Olive
 
My dad and sister have pretty much told me the same thing. My sis still lives back home (I was supposed to be staying with her), and she's been going to see Grandma everyday in the hospital. My sis said that Grandma has pretty much been dead in just about every aspect except for her heartbeat for the past couple days. I'm still very sad though. I didn't go see her last weekend because of selfish reasons, for the most part (there was going to be somebody else there that I didn't want to see). I guess I'm still in disbelief that there won't be anymore talks around her kitchen table...no more laughing together...all those little things. She loved John so much...she got to meet him once last year. I would talk about when John and I would get married (not for another few years or so, due to several things), and Grandma always said, "I probably won't be around anymore by then." I'd always tell her to not say that...that I'd make sure she was at our wedding somehow.

I guess, when the day comes, she will be there for sure now.
 
i'm so sorry kat. like everyone said try not to focus on any regrets but remember all the good times you had. at least she got to meet john! that's a wonderful thing in itself.

you're in my thoughts and prayers.

:hug:
 
:hug: i'm so sorry kat. please don't feel sad though, think of every time she made you happy and every time you made her happy.


if you wanna talk, i'm on for ya :hug:
 
Thank you so much, everybody. I'm already feeling a lot better about things. :hug: I'm stuck home alone until Dad gets home from work, so it's nice to have this place to hang out at...Interference is making me smile today. :)

You've all reminded me why I keep comin' here. :heart:

I talked to my dad earlier, and he said that we should be happy because Grandma is not suffering anymore. Dad also believes that she is up in Heaven with Grandpa now, and they will be together forever, and they both know can hear me and know how much I love them. That thought makes me feel better too.

I still might be going home this weekend, if the funeral is on Sunday. If it is on Monday, I won't be able to go. :( I should find out sometime this afternoon.
 
:hug: BC I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.

...what everyone else said and what your dad said is right :)

If you ever need to talk you know I'm always just a PM away, either here or on aim.

:hug:
 
Aww bc....... :hug: :(

I'm sure she's looking down on you with love right now.. whether or not you got to say a final goodbye.. it sounds like you were very close.. always cherish that.

:heart:
 
:(

I think sometimes it's easier for people who are dying to let go when their loved ones aren't there. She might've been happy that you didn't see her when she was so close to dying. And everything that Angela said.

:heart:
 
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, BC. :sad: I lost my grandfather three years ago, and it still hurts. My last memory is of him unconscious in the hospice unit, so I try not to think about that--I think of him taking me and my sisters to the beach, and his goofy musical hat, and how he taught me to drink coffee when I was only about three years old.

God is taking care of her now, and your intentions are good. Hang in there; we'll all be praying and sending good vibes your way. :hug: :hug:
 
:hug:

I'm sorry to hear that BC....but don't beat yourself up over not seeing her. Like angela said it's better to remember her for the good, rather than your last memory of her being in pain and in the hospital.

My Grandfather had Alzheimer's, and after he went into the nursing home, I didn't go visit him, my parents wouldn't let me. By the time he got into the home he was definately not himself....his mind had deteroirated that much. I was upset too about not being able to say my goodbyes in person, however, the person in that bed was no longer my Grandfather. I had to make peace with it myself. I think in the long run it was better, because I remember him for the man he was before he got sick, rather than the seeing the final stages of Alzheimers.

Take Care sweetie and remember all the good times you had together and keep that with you.
:hug:
 
Gosh, you guys are all so nice...I'm glad that I had you all to turn to today. :hug:

I talked to my other grandma on the phone today, and she actually made me feel a lot better. She hadn't been doing so well herself lately, but it looks like she has gotten a lot better, so that is good!

My grandma was wonderful...we used to have so much fun together. She also thought that Bono was hot. *lol* :D I remember her calling me up one night...I picked up the phone, and she yelled, "Katie, Katie, Katie!!!!!!!" I panicked because I thought something was wrong, and then she said, "Bono's on TV!!!!!" *lmao*

I always loved having her next door while I was in middle school and high school, especially those times I was fighting with my parents...I could always go to Grandma's house. She always understood.

I've been thinking about her so much today...and I have so many great memories of her. I'm going to miss her, but I will never forget her.
 
Oh BC...I'm sorry to hear about that....don't feel guilty...hold the memories of your grandmother close to your heart. :hug:
You're in my thoughts.:heart:
I have a very sick grandmother....and I'm a 9 hour drive away....so I can really relate to what you are feeling. I haven't seen her in a long time....and time is ticking. I will go see her the first chance I get.
Hang in there, BC.:hug:
oxoxo
Autumn
 
Honey, I am sorry about the passing of your grandmother . I know that you are hurting and things are tough. But please always remember that I am here for you always.... For you to lean on , to be held by and to snuggle up to during the night.I love you Kat:heart:
 
I :heart: you too, John. Thank you, honey. :)

I got some pretty cool news from my dad. I'm not able to go back to the funeral, but part of me will be there.

Back in 7th grade, all of the students were (probably still are) required to interview a senior citizen who spent a majority of their life (particularly growing up) in our hometown. It's basically their biography. The best stories get published into a book called Menominee Remembered. I had interviewed my grandma, but it didn't get in the book. However, somebody obtained a copy of my paper (which blows my mind because I don't even know where my copy is...this was 7 years ago!), and they are going to be reading it at her funeral. That makes me so happy. :heart: I'm going to have my dad try to get a copy of it so I can have it again.
 
drgnwolf1969 said:
Honey, I am sorry about the passing of your grandmother . I know that you are hurting and things are tough. But please always remember that I am here for you always.... For you to lean on , to be held by and to snuggle up to during the night.I love you Kat:heart:
Click to expand...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :cute: :heart: :flirt: :kiss:
 
Katherine, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma's passing. How wonderful that you were so close with her.

Anytime you feel bad about not seeing her this week, just think what she would tell you about the situation. You know that she wouldn't want you to feel bad, she'd want you to only remember the special times you two shared.

:hug:

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 
He sweetie. It's late and I just saw your post. I haven't read all that has been written already, but I just wanted to say a few things from my heart. I know all too well what you are going through and how you feel. When my grandma died back in '92, I was 16. She lived far away and I never got to say goodbye. I felt terrible about it and I had the opportunity to go back home to see her, but I chose not to. Or my parents chose not for me to go... I can't remember and it doesn't matter, because its not the fleeting last moments of one's life that are important... its the lifetime of memories created with one another. That's what counts. When my other grandma passed on a couple years ago, it was a really hard time for me. I did get to see her right up until the end and you know what? It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It's a tough thing to see one's life running away from them. Please don't waste anytime beating yourself up over not having done this, or not having done that. Love your grandma for who she was and what she meant to you. Treasure the memories of her life, and please do not spend precious emotions worrying about things that can not be changed.

:hug:
 
I can?t do nothing

nothing nothing

Except of offering you my condolences

I am sorry

We will pray
 
whenhiphopdrovethebigcars.....:hug:

I'm so happy that I've had Interference to come to...there have been so many posts that have made me smile and actually laugh out loud. Once I log off, I think about things again and get sad, but it's nice to have a little fun distraction as well. :hug: Part of me feels guilty for coming here and having fun (especially in IO)...but it just feels so good to laugh.
 
yeah its the same for me...

you know, yesterday my ex and her family kept calling me up

say hi to John

hey big :hug: there Bonochick

thank you
 
belated but sincere

My condolences to you also BonoChick.
The time you had with her must have been wonderful. I only ever met 2 of my grandparents and they had died by the time I was 4, so to have had that close relationship with her must have been special. There is a lot to learn from our elders.
She knows your love for her, we can't always be right there. I couldn't go to Pop Laurie's funeral recently, but I was told they sang his favourite hymn "In the Sweet By and By". So I hope he is there for me and I hope your grandparents are reunited..
"In th esweet by and by,we shall meet on that beautiful shore..."


I'm sorry @->--->------
 
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