I think I hate my cousin ... hehehe

[Muggsy]

Ok... so this guy, my cousin arrives to my home two months ago... looking for a job in Bogotá. I know how hard is that, but I can't believe him... he seems like he doesn't want to do any effort to find a decent job. he only reads the sunday paper for the job vacants and I told him that there are only shitty jobs to be stripper or drug mule (i'm exagerating.. but you can't find a decent job on the news paper) or something like that but he doesn't listen to me, he doesnt care.

ok... that's only the beginning and the cause of all my problems with him... I'm not good composing, so I will make a list of why i hate my cousin:

* He stays all the day at home.. watching tv, and eating all the food (he can drink 4 boxes of milk ), he doesn't get a bath and the worst: he doesn't even help my mom to take out the trash or wash his own fucking dish.

* he sleeps in my studio ... so I can't draw there I have to work in the garage... not because he's there but he leaves his smelly shoes there and I'm sorry but I can't draw without breathing :ew:. He sleeps until 11 am and I have to be quiet to start to work (i work in my house, doing illustrations) at 8 am. when he wakes up he only goes to the kitchen and watch tv waiting for my mom to make him breakfast... for god's sake!!!!! my sister and I wake up early and do our own breakfast, and my mom has to wake up at 5 am to help my dad, so she gets tired. he is the most unconsiderated and lazy person in this world. He eats like a monster but he is so lazy that he rather be hungry to cook an egg. my mom is really upset and she said that he doesn't seem to get a job but in vacations, he doesn't realize that my house is not a 5 star hotel, we all have to work to get the food and the basics.

* He tried to hit on me :S... and I have to lock my door when i'm getting dressed cuz he likes to open it... I can't get out of the bathroom with just a towel cuz he stays looking at me... that's disturbing. He asks my mom when I am, with who... and when I'm with a friend (guy) at home he doesn't talk to me and he's rude with my friend

* the sad thing is... that I used to have a good relationship with him.. i thought that he was a smart guy trying to do his best. Now that I know him better and I see how lazy and boring is him I can't talk with him about anything. he only complains about being "poor" and he wonders why he can't have the latest cell phone or the coolest car while he sits his fat ass in front of the tv all day. my dad is upset with him cuz my cousin is getting advantage of all our work. I hate to see him wasting his time (and our time), wasting his youth and his brain. being unemployed doesn't mean to be useless or to become a zombie in front of the tv waiting for others to give him what he has to get by himself.

 

[discothequeLP]

is he on drugs? you say you used to get along with him. . . maybe that's the reason for the personality change. and he's a total asshole.

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

People like him don't learn independence when they can leech off others; your family should, as nicely as possible, cut him off and actually make him get off his ass. Obviously 'assisting him' the way your family is right now isn't so much helping him get back on his feet as much as it is encouraging him to be a manipulative dick. Time to kick him out, says I.

 

[hiphop]

is he on drugs?

With all respect for this wonderful South American country, that would not be very unusual in Bogotá.

Still, there´s no reason to behave like that.

 

[Liesje]

Kick him out! Muggsy, I've seen your work an as far as I'm concerned, it's brilliant! This leech has no right to be in your way unless he's helping you (which he's obviously not). If your parents insist on him staying, ask them to at least make sure he's not allowed to interfere with your life.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Yeah, for real. Your mum and dad need to tell him where to go! That's so rude.
Good luck Muggsy

 

[indra]

Yeah, I agree with what everyone else is saying -- he needs to get off his ass and start working.

If he's not employed his job is to find employment and he should be required to be out of the house looking for work by 8 am every weekday and spend full days looking for work.

He should be required to pay rent, if he doesn't have the money to do that then he needs to be given a list of things your household needs done and he can do those (after his regular "workday" looking for a job, of course) for his rent until he finds a proper job.

He should be required to make his own meals and clean up his own dishes afterwards. If he isn't willing to do this, he doesn't need to eat. He'll do it whan he gets hungry enough.

He should be required to do his own laundry, or at least make sure whoever does the laundry doesn't have to track his stuff down.

Your folks need to give him the immediate boot if he continues to harrass you.

Good luck!

 

[Muggsy]

is he on drugs? you say you used to get along with him

no... he doesn't even drink... Maybe I used to get along with him cuz I didn't have to share my own space and I didn't realize how he really is.

People like him don't learn independence when they can leech off others

that's true... and he's the perfect example... he gets money from my grandma and one of my aunts (she is single and she gains a lot of money, part of that is for my cousin ), and they don't understand that he has to build his own live.

With all respect for this wonderful South American country, that would not be very unusual in Bogotá.

I can say that Bogotá is jusk like any big city, and has the problems of any big city... but many people think that is easier to get drugs here... that's not accurate at all. It is easy to get marihuana or pills, but cocaine is really expensive here.

If your parents insist on him staying, ask them to at least make sure he's not allowed to interfere with your life.

my parent's can't see the hour he leaves the house... and they realized that he's interfering with my life, he's invading my space. but there's always the conflict with my aunts and grandmother who think that my cousin is angel from heaven

If he's not employed his job is to find employment and he should be required to be out of the house looking for work by 8 am every weekday and spend full days looking for work.

Indra, you're totally right.. he should pay rent (he gets money from my silly aunt and he spents it in junk food). He does his own laundry (my mom had to tell him that she won't do it, altought she is really corcerned about that cuz he's doesn't know how to do his laundry, and his mom doesn't care if he is doing well here). I always keep distance from him and I think he got the idea

 

[For Honor]

What a horrible situation to be in.
I don't know if I could do that, Muggsy. I give you a lot of credit for not like....... totally going crazy on him. Personally, I... I'm not good like that anymore. I used to have more patience, but I've seen too much, and my tolerance is shot. I'd so be going at him about it everytime I see him, and I wouldn't be able to *not* talk about it to this guy.

I mean, I feel like a loser right now, because I don't have a job, and it's really weird waiting for college, but I try to do things around the house and stuff, at the very least...


=============


I agree with everyone else.
Ultimately, this guy is going to need to get his ass kicked out-the-house. It's for his best interest, in all reality.

What does dad think?
Or did I miss that. I only say this because I know that sometimes women, and men, can be very forgiving with some people, giving them a lot of slack. But.... who's the hardass in your family? Tell him to get after your cousin there.


What you should do is start taking back your life, as much as you can. Figure out some way to do this. It sounds like it will be battle, though, but sometimes.... sometimes you gotta be selfish in this life. But no, not really. You just gotta have respect.

He doesn't respect anything. So unfortunately.... he's forcing you to have to differently than you normally would - as in, bitch at him (take that literally or non litereally). It is not your responsibility to look after him.



I mean, is there anything wrong with him?
Is there some excuse he's been playing over and over again?

This is like a... a....... a........... weed. A vine kind of thing that will keep growing, and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to shake. NOt just for your family, but for your cousin, too. Obviously, there's something up, if he's all "loser-like" now, and he wasn't in the past.


Maybe you could find out what this big change is?



Of course, ultimately.............
"You better change the way you think (or act) fast, otherwise you'll feel the door hit your ass" - that's what I'd say, heh.


But ... authority, authority, authority...
I hope your cousin gets his act in gear soon. For everyone's sake.,...

 

[Muggsy]

What a horrible situation to be in.
I don't know if I could do that, Muggsy. I give you a lot of credit for not like....... totally going crazy on him. Personally, I... I'm not good like that anymore. I used to have more patience, but I've seen too much, and my tolerance is shot. I'd so be going at him about it everytime I see him, and I wouldn't be able to *not* talk about it to this guy.

I mean, I feel like a loser right now, because I don't have a job, and it's really weird waiting for college, but I try to do things around the house and stuff, at the very least...


=============


I agree with everyone else.
Ultimately, this guy is going to need to get his ass kicked out-the-house. It's for his best interest, in all reality.

What does dad think?
Or did I miss that. I only say this because I know that sometimes women, and men, can be very forgiving with some people, giving them a lot of slack. But.... who's the hardass in your family? Tell him to get after your cousin there.


What you should do is start taking back your life, as much as you can. Figure out some way to do this. It sounds like it will be battle, though, but sometimes.... sometimes you gotta be selfish in this life. But no, not really. You just gotta have respect.

He doesn't respect anything. So unfortunately.... he's forcing you to have to differently than you normally would - as in, bitch at him (take that literally or non litereally). It is not your responsibility to look after him.



I mean, is there anything wrong with him?
Is there some excuse he's been playing over and over again?

This is like a... a....... a........... weed. A vine kind of thing that will keep growing, and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to shake. NOt just for your family, but for your cousin, too. Obviously, there's something up, if he's all "loser-like" now, and he wasn't in the past.

my dad would be "the autorithy" (my cousin is my dad's nephew) but i've noticed that he worries about the opinion of my aunts and my grandma. If you ask me, i give a F**ck about cuz they never help us like they help the ass of my cousin, I can understand my dad but I think that he must confront his sister and make her clear that he won't maintain his son...

My mom gets mad with my cousin but she wouldn't feel right with my dad if she says something rude to him... so my sister and I will are the ones who feel free enough to show how annoyed we are, and we do it... but I have to say that I don't know how to comfront him and I think I have to.

 

[For Honor]

mmmm........

It figures that there is a sort of weakness elsewhere in the family that has resulted in a room for your cousin to grow idle and lethargic, etc. I've seen that before...

(at least, I think I could understand your post correctly)

Good luck
But I always believe it is better to confront something as best as possible rather than overlooking it. I'm glad to see you maybe attempting that in the near future