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Old 06-26-2005, 10:40 AM   #1
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Normal I just don't know

I've been leading quite a melancholic existence recently, i.e. I'm not really happy nor extremely sad, but filled with a sense of nothingness, my confidence with girls has faded, I can't approach girls for I'd see myself as well being an annoying arsehole ( realisation, I'm not attractive enough to be with you) My old mates think there is no such thing as guitar music anymore only "beats" and think I'm being an eejit ( always thought of me as the fool, unintelligent and daft, little did they know I was already reinventing myself again but thats a different story) wanting to be a songwriter, that I am by the way, although I don't hang around with them anymore such stupidity is horrendous, they can't tell the difference between winning pop idol and being Radiohead

My other friends are a different barrel of fish though, thoroughly dead on, supportive and on the same wave length as myself but I still feel I have no real involvement in their lifes, they'd beg to differ asking me for advice and comfort in situations, a proper mate kind of deal but I never have anyone to give me the words I need to hear, I have my fair share of good times but as I say I feel out of the loop, sometimes distance, unwanted and surplus to requirements, I need to get a job soon aswell although really working in a shop/ fast food joint will probably make me worse, I'm having a mid life crisis at 17, how wonderful eh? All I can do is put on a brave face and dance, but to what rythm?

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Old 06-26-2005, 11:35 AM   #2
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I don't have any advice but wanted to say you're not alone, we all feel shitty now and again.
I hope you feel better soon

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Old 06-26-2005, 04:48 PM   #3
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that's EXACTLY what's happening to me! well maybe not exactly but i know what you mean. but all i can say is, things will get better and as time goes by, the friends who were always there for you will be the ones remaining. the ones who are supportive will be the ones still supporting.

hope things get better with you
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Old 06-26-2005, 05:52 PM   #4
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Sorry you're feeling that way. Maybe it's time to branch out and try something new going to new places and making some new friends not that you need to loose the old ones.

Hope you get to feeling better soon
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Old 06-26-2005, 06:33 PM   #5
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i think if i went back and read my diary from when i was 17, i'd find many entries that are very similar to what you just wrote. now it's 10 years later (i'm 27), and i am actually really happy with where i am in life- those journal entries largely seem like a distant memory...

but i've definitely been where you are- just remember that you are SO young, and everything will change in the coming days, months, and years. i know it sounds patronizing, but please believe me when i say that things WILL get better. hang in there...
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Old 06-29-2005, 09:57 PM   #6
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Whatever you do, don't stop writing.

That being said, friends in highschool are kind of unclassifiable. everyone has different friends, and sometimes they are good, sometimes they are not enough.

I know just how you feel - I've been there. My road has been different, I'v ebeen more isolated than most, I think... But even throuhgh that I am still alive and still chasing my goals. It is a time in your life where you need difficult experiences to grow and mature and find yourself.

I believe love is a teacher, and learning how to love yourself is a huge thing. The other people in your life, and their love or lack of showing it, always affect you. Just try to learn from that.

and don't forget U2

it's just a moment
it's time will pass.......
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Old 06-29-2005, 10:06 PM   #7
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Agree with the earlier post.....no idea what sort of "advice" to give here....but do not stop writing, ever. Fucking ever.

And Ally is correct, typically, things do get better. I had bouts of that you are currently going through. Made it past them, and eventually started leading a life that I truly and deeply enjoy, as I have more control over things. HS, no control, you have to grin and bear things. I loved my HS to death, that places me in a minority, but I still had my shit days or weeks.....

Keep writing, and cherish the friends you have that do support you, they're golden.
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Old 06-30-2005, 06:59 AM   #8
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I agree with For Honor. Take heed in “Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of”:

“It’s just a moment
This time will pass”

You know what ZeroDude? I was in a similar situation as you when I was 16. I did horrendously at school (trust me, me marks were lower than low. They were pitiful), my self-confidence and self-esteem were rock bottom, I was frightened of girls and I literally had no hope. The period probably marked one of the lowest points I ever had in my life. I really didn’t see a great future. However, during that time period, something in my head told me that someday I will look back at that period of my life and just be bewildered at the emotions I am feeling right now.

Fast forward to today. I’m turning 19 in a couple of weeks and already I’m in a great course in a great university. Even though I still have my fair share of bad days and that I reckon I still have a long way together, I’m feeling great about myself. My confidence and self-esteem and grown leaps and bounds from when I was 16.

All I’m saying is, things will get better! To quote from another classic U2 song:

“After the flood all the colors came out.”

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