i have a problem with people.

[MooMoo!]

i go red whenever i talk to anyone i dont usually talk to, whether they be male, female old or young.

i can actually feel my face burn too and no matter how i try to "breathe in...and ouuuuut..." it doesnt help.

also i seem to hate everyone latey, especially men. now thing is, id love to get married one day, but im so cynical about men and im too damn scared to go anywhere near them to even say hello. and i couldnt ask anyone out cos i have a fear of rejection.

will this improve in teh next few years? i mean im 16 and never even had a proper boyfriend for Christs sake! i know some people will say this is normal but EVERYONE i know either has a boyfriend or has been out with someone. and cos i never have a boyfriend people call me a lesbian!! (arseholes ) yep thats how ignorant the people are where i live.

erm. so yea. i dont supose i can be helped, but i felt like a bit of a rant.

 

[For Honor]

Me too

Especially right now, I'm in / mode, but really, I just don't like people. I'm not good with people, I don't like being nice, or making small talk or saying sweet things to make other people ease up to me. Ugh

And worst of all, I can't stand it when someone is placed in my life, without my consent, and I'm "supposed" to feel a certain way about them, like tonight............ SOmeone invites someone over, and it's supposed to be just like before ? The christmas music makes it worse.

I can be a really cold person when I'm upset or disliking of what's around me, but I tried to prevent that a little at least tonight.


......... enough about me, though..........................

======

moomoo!, have some faith. You're young still, and at 16 I had neither kissed a girl nor had a date with one. DOn't worry about it. You seem to have a decent about of pride, so don't worry about shyness, you'll develop your confidences within the coming years. Keep your standards up and you'll be fine.

As for the face turning red....
Maybe just practice talking more, or just put yourself in more social environments, maybe with someone as a partner, to ease into it. Some guys find shyness to be cute and attractive, so don't worry about it too much. Some things just take time, no matter what. ANd don't worry about comparing yourself to those around you. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone....

 

[MooMoo!]

Some guys find shyness to be cute and attractive, so don't worry about it too much.

well i damn well hope so!

thanks for the advice.

 

[Dulce de Leche]

People who question your sexuality because you are 16 and have never had a boyfriend are ASSHOLES and you should not waste a second worrying about what they think.

You'll be just fine. I was in the same boat as you at your age (until age 18 actually) and I like to think I've turned out just fine.

You have PLENTY of time for all that; no worries!

 

[For Honor]

well i damn well hope so!

Judging by your reaction, they'll find a fiesty surprise underneath

 

[Meghan]

i mean im 16 and never even had a proper boyfriend for Christs sake!

Same here. I don't think it makes us losers (or lesbians ).

We're cool cos we don't act like everyone else.

*keeps telling self that*

 

[Liesje]

I used to turn red, but my job, making new friends, and doing a LOT of presentations and group presentations for my degree has helped. I know this guy who still turns red, and he's not even embarassed or a bad public speaker. One time in a class where we do a lot of presentations and discussion, he just told the class he always turns red and we don't have to be embarassed for him. It was cute.

As for guys, I never had a boyfriend, or even dated, during high school. I just had no desire too. I had plenty of fun with my friends and spent most of my after school time working or doing gymnastics. After only a few months of college, I started hanging out w/ this guy b/c my new friends hung out w/ his friends and he was recently single after a 3 yr relationship. I assumed I was just the "rebound girl", but decided I didn't care b/c I was never looking for a serious relationship and we had fun together. Now we've been together for almost three years.

 

[GibsonGirl]

Eh, I've felt that way since the age of fourteen. Nothing has really changed because I never really tried to do anything about it. I have issues with talking to people in person. Online is a little different because you have security in a sense, but in person is always a bit of a struggle. Having such tremendous fear of rejection isn't what I would call a good thing...I haven't had a real friend for years as a result of it. Sad thing is, I've gotten so used to it now that I don't really think I can change it.

Things may change for you, though. My advice is to just keep working at it. Don't give up on people or men completely. Make that little extra effort to speak to people. If you're anything like me, you probably hang near the back of the group, too afraid to speak to someone you don't know in case you say something that makes you look stupid. But blending in with the wallpaper won't change anything - you have to get in there and talk to people, even if you're scared shitless to. Start working on it now...you'll probably save yourself a lot of pain in college/university if you do. Trust me on this.

 

[youtooellen]

I turn red all the time too.. I can feel my face flushing, especially around older people or people I don't know. I don't know how to prevent that so.. I can't really help you there.

as for guys... I'm 16 too but I know what you mean. I've had just a couple relationships already, but to be honest, I find them to be stupid, and I think they're a waste of time because the guys these days (at my school at least) are just idiots who are too absorbed into themselves to have a proper relationship
I gave up on relationships already

like you moomoo, I'm really cynical and have been told that I'm cynical by my brother and close friends. it prevents me from going near any guys or anything too.

well it seems that I wasn't much of a help in advice huh , but I just hope you know that there's many of us in the same boat as you are
'the time will come soon' is all I keep telling myself.. just hope my patience doesn't wear thin

as for those who call you a lesbian, I say you ignore those bimbos and go on with your life.

 

[VertigoGal]

almost everyone says I'm cynical or at least very sarcastic. I take it as a joke and agree, but I dunno if it's healthy. I'm 15 and have never had a boyfriend...I had a chance too but realized I didn't want one, at least not that one.

anyway, sometimes I have conversations about people who bug me, and I realize that I come off as hating everybody. I try to be accepting, but has anyone noticed that there are A LOT of stupid people in the world? especially my age...I try to branch out and meet new people but everyone's so self-absorbed and mean honestly. I guess I'm the problem in some ways, but really...

 

[Muggsy]

I have the same problem... and I'm 22
I'm an illustrator and I work freelance, so I have to meet a lot of new people (most of them older than me and with a lot more of experience), show them my work and talk about it. that's always hard for me cuz i'm really shy and when i'm talking in front of people i don't know my face gets red and I start to talk funny, but when I'm sure that my work is good I feel better ...

it is true that some guys prefer shy girls, maybe cuz they feel that they will get a deeper relationship without lots of drama, i guess. and, from what i remember when i was 16, guys at that age are too shy or too annoying . I've been called a lesbian too cuz I never had a bf until i get into college, and I'm the girl who makes cruel jokes to the guy she likes and maybe it won't change for many years, but now I feel that there are people who can see through that :

 

[For Honor]

Yup, I fell into the "too shy" catagory at 16

It's funny, because I believe that split, too shy or too annoying, is very accurate, at least it was so at my school. As I've gotten older, I've been amazed at how young I once was. You never really know how you were until you have changed.

I was going to say something else, but it's probably better that I forgot it

 

[Meghan]

I try to be accepting, but has anyone noticed that there are A LOT of stupid people in the world? especially my age...

I know what you mean!

Some days I don't want to see anyone. (Some days are better than others )

But I think it must have something to do with your age. The older I get, the more people change (or maybe I'm changing) for the better. I think a lot of people deal with their own insecurities by conforming with others, and that kinda makes them look stupid in my eyes; but I've found some people over the past year or so are realising that they're a lot more fun to be around if they find their own personality. (I'm probably one of those people )

 

[MooMoo!]

i think teh main problem too with my "men hating/fear" is that i dont like ANY of the boys in my school. bar one, cos hes very polite and is the only boy in the whole school who will open a door for you. (says alot about my school ) they just all seem like complete pricks. (and i know, or hope anyway , that all men arnt like this before one comes in and stabs me)

well i spose time will tell. thing is, its not like im shy as such, im just not loud like most other people in school. (or anywhere)

i think the place i live isnt the most friendly of places either. in Liverpool where i was born, i was friends with teh whole class, over here ive had one real friend thats stuck by me for teh last 7 years.

meh. i also should get out more.

 

[girlhappy]

Shy people are more interesting, exept for Bono,right?

 

[carrieluvv]

I have the turning red thing too. when im mad or even when im just a bit nervous.....and i get sweaty- ive heard it can be connected to SAD (social anxiety disorder )or a heart murmur. which i have both ! regular excercise esp yoga....( alot of yoga is based on sort of structured breathing I guess you could say)
will help with it...calms the body and soul

 

[Got Philk?]

I assumed I was just the "rebound girl"

She still is my rebound girl...she just doesn't know it.

The best part is she didn't care. HAHA!


Now on to you. High school guys annoy me. Believe me, as time goes on some men get better. Notice "some". Don't waste your time worrying about these young clowns. If you can, find some comfort in your independency(especially of men...I hate kids who always NEED a boyfriend/girlfriend). It's a great quality to have. And hey, also live it up with your friend too! 7 years is great!

also, I like your name. The cow is my favorite animal.

 

[MooMoo!]

lol, thankyou.

well a few guys have told me to stay the hell away from boys my age. cos theyre only after one thing.

so i'd best listen to them.

 

[angelordevil]

Just reading these posts, it's interesting how you're some of the most expressive Interference people in your writing. I think it's just a matter of time before this side surfaces and becomes your public selves, as well.

I went through a stage where I felt disconnected from who I was inside, and also felt removed from the happy little man I was as a child. I think it had to do with a lot of moving around the province, going to new schools, meeting new people, etc. I always felt that I was an individual, but the signal transmitting this to others was strangely scrambled.

It's such a freeing thing when you become a little more transparent and let your individuality out. I don't quite know how that moment arrives for everyone, but for me, something happened when my grandfather died a few years ago. I had a kind of epiphany after speaking at his funeral...I realized that I had something to offer to people, to life.

I would still describe myself as being shy, but it's funny how people now don't see that, and call me a "people person." I guess I'm happy straddling both worlds, which can be both a difficult and amazing thing at the same time.

to everyone...

 

[For Honor]

When the different aspects of your personality begin coming together, that's when things really get interesting, imo. It's like learning to stand up, and then to walk, and then jump and then to run, and then to side step, and sprint, and ultimately it comes down to dancing.

Dancing is the most fun.... ( )

 

[MooMoo!]

i dont do dancing. in any way shape or form.

id like to mind.