I had to turn someone down...

[DiscoJokeX]

There is this girl that i have known for a very long time. We have known eachother almost our entire life.
Some time ago, she told me she had a crush on me, and I didn't know how to handle that.
But after a while I thought i had feelings for her to, so I told her, and we flirted quite a lot.
But now I realise that I don't love her, and that i can't carry on flirting like this. It just doesn't feel right.
I have told her how I feel, and she is quite hurt right now, but she still have feelings for me...

I really don't want to loose this friendship...
Is there a chance that we might sort this out?

 

[Needle_Chill]

You just have to give her time to trust you again.

 

[U2Kitten]

There is NOTHING anyone hates hearing more than 'no but we can still be friends.' No. Once someone wants more and the other person wants to be 'friends' it's over. That's how it goes. The relationship is damaged and can never be the same.

 

[Laura M]

There is NOTHING anyone hates hearing more than 'no but we can still be friends.' No. Once someone wants more and the other person wants to be 'friends' it's over. That's how it goes. The relationship is damaged and can never be the same.

I don't agree with that. I'm still very good friends with someone who asked me out once and I once told a friend I liked him and nothing happened but I still talk to him just as much as I used to.

I have been told two much worse things than we can still be friends.

 

[U2Kitten]

Well for me and people I know, it was too hurtful to stay involved with the person, especially if they were going to date someone else. I have known people who did but only in hopes they could eventually change the person's mind. It's also very embarrassing and humilating for some people. It takes a lot to get the courage to ask someone if they feel the same and when they say no, that's the end.

 

[cell]

i have to agree with u2kitten on this one.

 

[BostonAnne]

I also have to agree with U2kitten. You'll have to give her space while she moves on from the crush she has on you, but after that it is hard to tell if she can remain friends.

I think it's great that you tried to make it work, given how you knew how she felt. That's the best you can do. If you don't feel it too, it would be wrong to continue trying.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

I've had relationships like that. It took a few years, literally, but things did get pretty much back to normal

 

[She Is Raging]

at least you did the right thing and continue to lead her on. I bet she'll appreciate it eventually. Not now, but eventually.

 

[indra]

I think being able to be friends again depends a lot on the circumstances, both of the romantic relationship and also of the breakup of that relationship. As others have mentioned, it's REALLY hard to be rejected, even when it's done gently, so it is possible that she will just not be able to be friends again. But I think that if you give her some time to heal and are above board in your dealings with her (especially about your romance and breakup), you might well be able to salvage your friendship. I wish you good luck.

 

[carrieluvv]

she is raging prolly meant DIDNt continue to lead her on. ; )

yeah that is important not to lead someone on...

its so weird when it "gets weird"

 

[She Is Raging]

your right, I did just reread that.

I've been on call all weekend and not really functioning correctly!
Thanks