Hey girl. I totally know where you are coming from. I have lost both my grandma's and my uncle who was quite young. Death is one of those inexplicable things that we all have to deal with. When my last grandma passed a year and a half ago, it hit me super hard. We were really close.
Anyway, it got me thinking about my parents, because I saw how hard it was on my mom. It doesn't matter what age your parents go, it feels just the same. That's what people tell me. My grandma was 80 and I can take solace in the fact that she had such a long and productive life, but I resent anyone who is 90. I think, that could have been her. But you can't control that.
Wow, I got off the point. My point is... after my grandma passed, I started freaking out about my mom and dad. They are only 50 something and very healthy but things happen, god forbid. Anyway, I thought I needed to detach myself from them a bit because we are so close. I figured if I was to survive this event which is inevitable one day, I couldn't do it being so close to them. That was when I started to really take my plans to move to Europe seriously. The need to create a life away from them was the driving force.
Even though I still plan to move away for awhile, me reasons have changed. I still want to create a life for away from the family, but I have stopped trying to distant myself and have stopped trying to care less. I love my parents so much and am thankful for the relationship I have with them, and I think in the end, no matter how hard, it'll be easier knowing we had a great friendship and were close than it would be thinking how I pushed them away to protect me.
Anyway my point--> don't worry about something that is so huge and so out of your control honey. You can't do anything about it, so get it out of your mind. Just enjoy them. Enjoy them as much as you can while you can, and being 50 nowadays is still young.
((((hugs))))
Anyway, it got me thinking about my parents, because I saw how hard it was on my mom. It doesn't matter what age your parents go, it feels just the same. That's what people tell me. My grandma was 80 and I can take solace in the fact that she had such a long and productive life, but I resent anyone who is 90. I think, that could have been her. But you can't control that.
Wow, I got off the point. My point is... after my grandma passed, I started freaking out about my mom and dad. They are only 50 something and very healthy but things happen, god forbid. Anyway, I thought I needed to detach myself from them a bit because we are so close. I figured if I was to survive this event which is inevitable one day, I couldn't do it being so close to them. That was when I started to really take my plans to move to Europe seriously. The need to create a life away from them was the driving force.
Even though I still plan to move away for awhile, me reasons have changed. I still want to create a life for away from the family, but I have stopped trying to distant myself and have stopped trying to care less. I love my parents so much and am thankful for the relationship I have with them, and I think in the end, no matter how hard, it'll be easier knowing we had a great friendship and were close than it would be thinking how I pushed them away to protect me.
Anyway my point--> don't worry about something that is so huge and so out of your control honey. You can't do anything about it, so get it out of your mind. Just enjoy them. Enjoy them as much as you can while you can, and being 50 nowadays is still young.
((((hugs))))