I feel guilty

[lucky charms]

I find that I dont even like to come around here anymore.

The more I go in to threads and journals the more I see wide spread depression and devestation in people's lives.

Noone around here seems to be happy. About anything.

People seem to wallow in self-pity, self-doubt and self-hatred.

I used to be like that. But when you are down, you should always look to those around you for support and comfort.

I can say Ive been there and done that to everything I have just said too. But the thing about it is, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, look in the mirror, and realize that life isnt all that bad.

And once you do that, that's half the battle.

With me, therapy helped too mind you, gave me the kick in the backside that was needed to lead me on my way.

If just doesnt seem like a nice place to come and visit anymore.

 

[nbcrusader]

Perhaps your role is to reach out to those in need. Be a listening ear.

Posting personal problems is somewhat therapeutic for people. Reading responses to those posts is even more therapeutic.

 

[lucky charms]

Of course. And that is what is so great about this place. The way people rally around someone and offer support, ears, and arms. I mean that is great it really is.

I have been there, and people were there for me and they helped.

What I was trying to say was it seems to me that there are an awful lot of people who seem to feed off of being upset and depressed. They never seem to smile. they never seem to be able to look over it. They never seem to be able to take a breath and be thankful but other things that maybe are small and significant but are good.

I dont know it just seems to really have multiplied around here. You want to be there, you want to listen, you want to help, and sometimes you just want to take their heads, make them look in the mirror and realize that life really isnt that bad...

I mean look, if I can come out of what I came out of, anyone can do it. Believe me..and I just want people sometimes to take

a deep breath in
and sigh
and see that you are on this planet
and life is not that bad..

I guess that is all, depresses me to see so much sadness knowing that I used to be one of those people and wishing I had something profound to say to snap each and every person out of it sometimes.

I dont know maybe I shouldnt say that..but I wish is all

 

[verte76]

I know, I've been posting way too much about being depressed. You only really need to say it once, and then the point has been made. The reason I posted about it it because people here are loving, supportive people. It's because I like Interlanders. I trust them. I also believe in the power of prayer, which is why I ask for prayers. I don't always get what I want; rather, I get what I need. I hate to think I'm bumming someone else out, however. You don't deserve that. I'll try to knock off the notes about being depressed. It's not that I like being depressed. Quite the contrary, I hate it. It sucks. But, God is always sending us messages. I need something to deepen my spiritual life. I think my spiritual life is still rather shallow. It's in hard times that your faith grows, not when you're on Easy Street. For the first time this year I'll be doing the Stations of the Cross on Fridays in Lent. I will pray more, I will attend daily mass more, and I'll probably confess twice, and also I'm going to join a Bible study group *and* a Catholic singles group. I'm also going to be more active with groups like Amnesty and other groups that do something about unjust situations around the globe. These are all gifts from God, and I need them like I've never needed them before. This is God's way of making sure I get them. In fact, I just ordered some Stations of the Cross prayer pamphlets from the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, which I visited in November. And as always thanks to my good friend nbcrusader's thoughtful and insightful post on this matter.

 

[tiny dancer]

Verte, I never feel bummed out by you.

 

[verte76]

Thanks mucho, tinydancer! The fact of the matter is that I've been overwhelmed with stress for a long time now, I'm vulnerable, this stuff is not easy. Of course I'm going to ask for help. I had so hoped that 2005 would be a better year than 2004, but in fact it's turning out even worse. Needless to say I'm not happy about this. I'd be lying if I said anything different. Now I'm downright paranoid. What else is going to happen?

 

[sallycinnamon78]

While I understand your point of view, luckycharm, there's nothing wrong with people reaching out and asking for support if they need it. We all have our problems, and we all have different ways of dealing with them.

There's nothing wrong with expressing oneself honestly. If someone feels they can't express themselves... then that's sad.

 

[verte76]

It hurts big time that I'm not going to be able to see U2 on this tour. After all, this album is so much better than ATYCLB, and I cannot imagine how awesome these shows are going to be, considering how unblelievable the Elevation shows were. Of course I'm terribly disappointed. But I can't spend these hundreds on tickets. Damn. As much as I love U2 I have to save for my trip to Turkey. Damn. This is so painful.

 

[dandy]

i think it's amazing how supportive some of the people are around here.

 

[Mr. BAW]

Lucky Charms. glad you were able to move on.

 

[indra]

Lucky Charms, perhaps the reason you find such negativity on this site is because you're looking for it. I don't mean you are necessarily searching it out, but when you come across a negative post it weighs heavily on you whereas the ten positive posts before it don't carry that weight.

Sure some people are very depressed here (and some are just plain pissy), but for the most part people are pretty positive and happy. But if you don't like it, and/or it makes you unhappy, don't come.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I would have to suggest similar to what nbcrusader said. If you should choose so, I think you would be helpful at consoling those of us when we want to get something off our chests. Of course, if it just makes you depressed, I suppose indra's word of advice could fit in.

 

[lucky charms]

you guys totally missed what I was trying to say in my post

and I could defend myself and explain what I meant

but what is the point

You guys enjoy this place

It is a good place

Never said it wasnt

And I wasnt trying to be unsupportive

Quite the contrary

 

[verte76]

Perhaps you already have emotional baggage of your own and don't need to put up with someone else's blues right now? That's perfectly understandable. In fact, that's exactly what's going on with me. This is a good place to get encouragement when you're down on your luck. And some good comes out of hard times, too. Personally, I do my best art when I'm depressed, not when I'm happy. I did the picture that's my avatar in four days when I was devastated and shaken up by the terrorist attacks in Istanbul. I was on fire. I had never finished a painting in four days! Not only that, I took it to the studio for the winter show, which I was really nervous about because it was my very first studio show. That show was the next day. When I got there I was shocked that they'd put the painting in the silent auction, meaning it was going to sell! Well, the damn *director* of the studio bought the thing, meaning anyone who comes to the studio sees it because it's in the front room! That was fantastic. After all, this lady is a big shot collector, and I didn't exactly mind the check. It was great for my confidence, I was able to also have a great show in July. If I do say so myself this painting that was inspired by sadness over the bad feelings of the ticket fiasco is starting to look pretty good, too. The imagery is inspired by Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". When I get it finished I'll get it on my site ASAP.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I find that I dont even like to come around here anymore.

If just doesnt seem like a nice place to come and visit anymore.

From what you've learned and from what you gained in ZC, I'd think that you'd be one of the first to offer a helping hand, just as others did for you..maybe I'm wrong, JMO.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

Lucky Charms, I think I understand what you are saying.

 

[tiny dancer]

While I understand your point of view, luckycharm, there's nothing wrong with people reaching out and asking for support if they need it. We all have our problems, and we all have different ways of dealing with them.

There's nothing wrong with expressing oneself honestly. If someone feels they can't express themselves... then that's sad.

You said it perfect salleycinnamon78.

 

[Bbug]

I think it's interesting that you said you feel guilty about this: not angry or disappointed or bummed out. I don't know what that means, but it struck me as unusual.

I know I've been super down lately, but for me journals/posts are a great way to vent. Also, everything in my life has been so overwhelming this year, at school, with my family, with other relationships...and I find that I have to get it all out before I can move on. By journaling/posting about it, it gets it out of my system and then hopefully I can take a step back from it, look at it more objectively, and avoid wallowing in it.