i dont understand

[zooropamanda]

i am a teacher
today i arrived at school to find out a little 11 yr old boy had attempted suicide in the boys toilets.
i have taught him many times. i spoke to him in the playground the day before.
i spent the first 2 hours feeling sick, then i went into automatic pilot for the rest of the day.
when i got in my car this afternoon i burst into tears and have been crying ever since.
i have that revolting sickness from fear and shock feeling and i havent stopped shaking since early this morning.
what does that to an innocent little baby?
what causes such pain in a child's life like that?
i thought i understood children well.
i dont understand this.
i just dont understand.

 

[Mrs.Clayton]

Oh my goodness......
I think I'd react the same way too.
I don't think anyone can ever understand anything like that.
If there was an explanation, I wouldn't believe it.
Makes me want to hug a child.....

You know we all are here for one another...you came to the right place.....

 

[foray]

Where is he now?

foray

 

[zooropamanda]

would u believe he actually was at school today.
he's doing ok and glad to be alive apparently.

 

[foray]

Teen years is a very depressing time for most, I think.

It's also a time when suicide is, unfortunately, glorified... because it's seen as a means of getting mad attention.

Take care.

foray

 

[ABEL]

*hugs* manda

------------------
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

 

[Angela Harlem]

Jesus Mand. Talk to the other teachers on Monday about this. Poor kid.
Are you ok?

 

[brettig]

all i can think of is to say why?

A child took a gun and shot/killed himself on a school balcony at lunchtime at a nearby school here last year, we've been discussing it at uni all week as we've dealt with reporting this stuff...

 

[zooropamanda]

fors, he wasnt in high school. he wasnt even a teen yet. this is a little boy im talking about here. ten or eleven years old.
a kid the same age as my baby sister who doesnt even herself know what suicide means.
just a tiny little baby.

im making today end a lot sooner than it needs to, i dont really wanna face another minute of today, so to bed i go.
night guys

 

[foray]

I'm sorry.

 

[bono_man]

Sorry to hear that Amanda...

Im always around if you need a chat remember.

------------------
"Your sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars. Carved into stone on the face of earth"
- One Tree Hill

jonedwards80@hotmail.com

 

[christiana]

If he isn't over-mature, then he must be facing something really tough for him... Poor boy.

*hugs manda*

 

[404 Not Found]

there are so many things in life that are inexplicable.
i'm sorry, zoomanda

 

[Salome]

what a horrible thing to happen
is the child getting any counseling?

is anything done for the teachers?
it must be heartbreaking to have to go through something like this
having a child you tries to give some guidance do a thing like this

I'm very sorry Manda
I hope you have some people you can talk to about this


------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[zoomerang II]

that is absolutely awful - i hope he, his family and his teachers are getting all the support they need.

Manda are you ok now? If you need to talk to someone drop me a line.

 

[scatteroflight]

I'm very sorry. I hope you're feeling better. How awful that someone so young should be attempting to take their life. There is something very wrong with a world where that happens. It makes me think of what it says in the Bible about "critical times hard to deal with" in the "last days," in 2 Timothy chapter 3.

But I'm glad he did not succeed. Someone I knew committed suicide recently and it was a really hard thing to deal with.



------------------
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out

 

[elevatedmole]

That is awful. I can see why you are so upset -- anyone in their right mind would be. *hugs*

------------------
"I dance much better horizontally than vertically." - Bono

Popheart.org

 

[missmacphisto]

I know of a 10 year old boy who hung himself becuase his dog died(put to sleep no less!. Maybe ppl made fun of him for caring about a dog, maybe his parents just didnt think it was that big of a deal, i dont know...
I also know of another young boy, i think he was also 10, who also hung himself, becuase he was fat and people picked on him.

I can understand their pain. I think i kinda wanted to kill myself when i was about 9-11? i dont remember exactly. I wasnt serious, but i wanted some way out of my pain. But i'm much stronger than that, and can take an awful lot of abuse without buckling. So i hung in there and learned to just keep a stiff upper lip when things go terribly wrong.

Everyone's different though, and these boys just couldnt put up with whatever it was they were dealing with.I guess they felt they couldnt ask for help maybe??
Basically, i think people tend to think children dont have the same problems adults do, or that they are resilient and can "get over it".
There could be many reasons why this boy did this.
I just think we need to stop viewing children as being like a differnt species than adults.
And we need to make it permissable to ask for help when we need it. Too often society tells us that those who ask for help are weak or flawed somehow. *sighs*
HUGS

------------------
Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...


[This message has been edited by Miss MacPhisto (edited 05-17-2002).]

 

[zooropamanda]

thanks guys
im doing better today i guess
i dont know how people actually would ever cope with it happening.
thanks again

 

[Naya]

zoomanda that is awful...
((((zooropamanda))))

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Makes you wonder what kind of world we're living in.

------------------
Let's pray for something
To feel good in the morning

 

[BabyGrace]

oh my gosh, Amanda, you must feel so awful, and that poor little boy. That's unreal, eleven years old...

I'm sorry I did not see this until just now, I hope you're feeling a little better and I hope that child is doing ok. Maybe it's for the better that the problem is exposed now. Let's hope and pray so.

 

[ACROB@T]

some things can run so deep they can't be explained..glad to hear he is ok

hope your feeling better

 

[zooropamanda]

thanks again people
i just feel guilty at the moment because the thought of going back to that school makes me feel ill, but what about the poor kid?
im being selfish i guess. i just dont want to be there at all.

*sigh* <--im really tired of having to type out sounds and such

 

[Sicy]

Makes you wonder about his parents.

 

[missmacphisto]

Thats exactly what i was thinking. That and i wonder how the other kids and adults in his life were treating him.

 

[The Wanderer]

God, how incredibly sad.

I don't know the answers, I remember when I was young my older brother had someone in his class commit suicide, the kid was about 12 or 13, apparently he was a very sad and lonely kid, didn't fit in and got teased unmercifully at school... what's even scarier is that nowadays, kids are going into schools with guns looking for revenge

[This message has been edited by The Wanderer (edited 05-19-2002).]

 

[brettig]

think redemption...

 

[zooropamanda]

i finally saw him today.
he was smiling.

 

[Screaming Flower]

Originally posted by zooropamanda:
i finally saw him today.
he was smiling.

that is good news manda.