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U2isthebest

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Vision over visibility....
The past 2 months or so have been really hard on me. I've always had a completely irrational problem with fear that comes and goes. (As a Believer, I personally feel its just a weakness that the devil uses to his advantage.) Anyway, for the past 2 months I've been having this constant heavy fear that something is going to happen to me. This thought just keeps playing over and over in my mind that I have something wrong with me. I get panic attacks for no reason at all where I start hyperventilating and crying, and it's horrible. I've been having my family pray for me, and they say they know with a peace that I'm ok. I think deep down I do too, but I'm still so scared and they don't understand. Today everything came to a hilt though. I had a horrible day at work. I was getting blamed for things that I had no control over. One of the people I work with told me I looked like crap. Then when I was visiting my grandparents tonight my grandma started being mean to me for no reason. She kept telling me I'm fat and how horrible I look (I really don't know where she's getting that from. Although, "fat" to her is not looking like Nicole Richie's little sister like I did a couple years ago.:| ) Then she started telling me my future is ruined and I'm going nowhere in life because I haven't made up my mind on which college I'm going to transfer to next year. I got pissed and told her I'm sick of her crap, and she told me I'm no longer a Christian because of my "language" She also told me not to ask her to pray for me anymore. I was feeling so much better in my fear problem today, but now I'm terrifed again and freaking out. I don't know what to do. I don't want to talk to my mom about it because I don't want her to be stressed. After having cancer last year and she and my dad divorcing in March, I don't want her to have pressure. I'm sorry. I just had to get that out.:sad:
 
:hug:

There are pastoral counselors out there that I'm sure could help...and from one Christian to another, no one should say you're not a Christian because of your language. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. You're a Christian because you believe in Christ, simple as that. What's really non-Christian is people who judge you like that, but you're stronger than that, and I admire your faith.

As I said, seek counseling, talk things out to a professional, they'll probably have more insight than my limited knowledge and experience.

Good luck :hug:
 
Hi Bri, I'm sorry your having such a rough time. Your not the only one who gets feelings of dread. Sometimes I think something is going to happen to me too. I think I feel that way sometimes because life is good and with my big guilt trips I start to feel like its all going to go crashing down on me. Especially being a mom, I feel like how will my kids get along without me. That frightens me. Maybe its the same with your mom. You feel like she needs you right now and what if something happened to you, how would she get along?

As for the idiot at work, just ignore stupid people like that. They must be jealous of you and want to make you feel bad. I bet they are jealous of your gorgeous eyes and your beautiful hair.

As for your grandmother has she looked in the mirror to see a christian? Based on what you just said she is the farthest thing from it. I would just laugh at her especially because she thinks she is a christian. My mother thinks shes a christian because she knows Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden. :huh:

If your not feeling better in another few days or so, I would try to go and talk with a professional. You've been through alot in the past year or so. An unbiased opinion doesn't hurt.
 
U2democrat said:
:hug:

There are pastoral counselors out there that I'm sure could help...and from one Christian to another, no one should say you're not a Christian because of your language. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. You're a Christian because you believe in Christ, simple as that. What's really non-Christian is people who judge you like that, but you're stronger than that, and I admire your faith.

As I said, seek counseling, talk things out to a professional, they'll probably have more insight than my limited knowledge and experience.

Good luck :hug:

Thank you!!:hug: It's nice to meet you. I'm Brittany, btw. I'm not sure if we've ever actually met before. Believe me, I'm not stupid enough to think a word I choose to use is going to keep me from being in a right relationship with God. Obviously that doesn't mean we can all go around saying and doing what we please, but God is after our heart. I believe I have that at least. Thanks for your advice and for being there!
 
JCOSTER said:
Hi Bri, I'm sorry your having such a rough time. Your not the only one who gets feelings of dread. Sometimes I think something is going to happen to me too. I think I feel that way sometimes because life is good and with my big guilt trips I start to feel like its all going to go crashing down on me. Especially being a mom, I feel like how will my kids get along without me. That frightens me. Maybe its the same with your mom. You feel like she needs you right now and what if something happened to you, how would she get along?

As for the idiot at work, just ignore stupid people like that. They must be jealous of you and want to make you feel bad. I bet they are jealous of your gorgeous eyes and your beautiful hair.

As for your grandmother has she looked in the mirror to see a christian? Based on what you just said she is the farthest thing from it. I would just laugh at her especially because she thinks she is a christian. My mother thinks shes a christian because she knows Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden. :huh:

If your not feeling better in another few days or so, I would try to go and talk with a professional. You've been through alot in the past year or so. An unbiased opinion doesn't hurt.

Thank you JC, my dear!:love: I think you hit the nail on the head with that first part. I don't know if you've ever heard of Joyce Meyer, who's an amazing teacher and evengelist, but in her book "The Battlefield of the Mind" she talks about how she used to struggle with the same issue and how God showed her what it was. If I can dig it out, I'll PM that part to you. Anyway, thank you so much for your compliment, I usually don't let shit like that get to me because I know what's ugly to someone is beautiful someone else. I've always been overly sensitive about how I look. My grandma is from an old school church where what YOU did as opposed to what Jesus did is what counted apparently:huh: Thanks again, you're awesome!:hug:
 
U2isthebest said:


Thank you!!:hug: It's nice to meet you. I'm Brittany, btw. I'm not sure if we've ever actually met before. Believe me, I'm not stupid enough to think a word I choose to use is going to keep me from being in a right relationship with God. Obviously that doesn't mean we can all go around saying and doing what we please, but God is after our heart. I believe I have that at least. Thanks for your advice and for being there!

You're welcome :hug:

I hope you can get everything worked out, stress and pressure can be really hard on any of us, as I'm sure you well know.


As some little Irish dude said, "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

Venting here will help some, but if you could go to someone and talk to them one on one objectively, that would help a great deal.

:hug:Good luck.
 
Liesje said:
:hug: Sorry you are having some rough times. :(

Are you interested in a Christian college?

I really want to stay close to home, so I'm looking at U of M Dearborn or Wayne State. When I was originally deciding last year between Western and Spring Arbor, I almost went with SA, but Western had a better Public Relations program. Both U of M-D and Wayne State have good ones too, so I'm between them. And thank you!!:hug:
 
:hug: I wish I had some words of wisdom that would help you out, but my brain is fried - it's been a really long day :crack:

Your grandmother has some problems to be treating you like that, her behavior really is as opposite of Christ-like as I can imagine. Very sad stuff.

Try and take everything day by day, find peace and contentment 'in the moment' and don't let 'what if's' about the future overwhelm you. (I have had to learn to do that and have been much happier for it; though I don't always manage to live by that advice, when I remember to at least try and approach life that way, things seem a lot better)

God guides us where we belong, if we're open to that. There's no shame in seeking counseling, Community Mental Health counselors are available and inexpensive. I know having that resource has been a real Godsend for me.

I hope things get better for you, hon :hug: know that God loves you and there are plenty of people out here in the world who care, and who know you're pretty great just the way you are :wink: :heart:
 
Sad_Girl said:
:hug: I wish I had some words of wisdom that would help you out, but my brain is fried - it's been a really long day :crack:

Your grandmother has some problems to be treating you like that, her behavior really is as opposite of Christ-like as I can imagine. Very sad stuff.

Try and take everything day by day, find peace and contentment 'in the moment' and don't let 'what if's' about the future overwhelm you. (I have had to learn to do that and have been much happier for it; though I don't always manage to live by that advice, when I remember to at least try and approach life that way, things seem a lot better)

God guides us where we belong, if we're open to that. There's no shame in seeking counseling, Community Mental Health counselors are available and inexpensive. I know having that resource has been a real Godsend for me.

I hope things get better for you, hon :hug: know that God loves you and there are plenty of people out here in the world who care, and who know you're pretty great just the way you are :wink: :heart:

Ok first, your sig...is amazing!:laugh: Thank you so much!! I've always been a "planner" and a "what-ifer" so it's hard for me to stay focused on what I'm doing, therefore it's hard for me to just enjoy each day to the fullest. I've been working on that though. Thanks for the tip on the counseling service, I'll have to look them up. Thanks for being here, I hope you're doing awesome!:hug:
 
U2isthebest said:


Thank you!!:hug: It's nice to meet you. I'm Brittany, btw. I'm not sure if we've ever actually met before. Believe me, I'm not stupid enough to think a word I choose to use is going to keep me from being in a right relationship with God. Obviously that doesn't mean we can all go around saying and doing what we please, but God is after our heart. I believe I have that at least. Thanks for your advice and for being there!

Hi,
I wanted you to know that what you wrote here is absolutely perfect. :)

I'm gonna try hard not to derail this...but some things you wrote hit home.

The first thing was I visited my grandmother a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, "Oh, you're getting heavy."

The second thing is this. I come from a very religious family. My father was a Pastor for years in fact. Thing is, they really are into small groups/praise and worship music and all that. Everyone in my family has followed what they have wanted except me. It seems once a month I get a huge tongue lashing for not "having enough God in my life." Especially since I've gotten married, since according to my mother, has changed my spiritual life so much that she is "very, very concerned" for me. It bugs me because what they don't know is what my wife and I talked about last weekend for a long time on the couch. What they don't know is what is in my heart.

I wrote too much...I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and it isn't fair that you are judged by others just by scratching the surface. But I know it hurts. So, :hug: And I will pray for you if you wish.
 
Got Philk? said:


Hi,
I wanted you to know that what you wrote here is absolutely perfect. :)

I'm gonna try hard not to derail this...but some things you wrote hit home.

The first thing was I visited my grandmother a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, "Oh, you're getting heavy."

The second thing is this. I come from a very religious family. My father was a Pastor for years in fact. Thing is, they really are into small groups/praise and worship music and all that. Everyone in my family has followed what they have wanted except me. It seems once a month I get a huge tongue lashing for not "having enough God in my life." Especially since I've gotten married, since according to my mother, has changed my spiritual life so much that she is "very, very concerned" for me. It bugs me because what they don't know is what my wife and I talked about last weekend for a long time on the couch. What they don't know is what is in my heart.

I wrote too much...I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and it isn't fair that you are judged by others just by scratching the surface. But I know it hurts. So, :hug: And I will pray for you if you wish.

Thank you! It's nice to meet you! Don't you just love how families are like, all honest and stuff?:happy: I definitely know what those tounge lashings are like. Apparently if one doesn't read 3 chapters a day of The Bible and pray for at least 35.6 minutes they can't be a true Believer.:happy: You didn't write too much. Your family seems quite similar to mine in that they are pretty surface-oriented. Thanks for the help, and definitely keep me in your prayers. I'll do the same for you and Lies.:hug:
 
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Oh Britt, I'm so sorry to hear this. :hug: I would second Laura's suggestion of seeking a pastoral counselor or a spiritual director. They have them at churches, and there are many people who work in young adult ministry and are trained to help you. I'm thinking of you and I hope you find peace soon.
 
U2isthebest said:


Thank you JC, my dear!:love: I think you hit the nail on the head with that first part. I don't know if you've ever heard of Joyce Meyer, who's an amazing teacher and evengelist, but in her book "The Battlefield of the Mind" she talks about how she used to struggle with the same issue and how God showed her what it was. If I can dig it out, I'll PM that part to you. Anyway, thank you so much for your compliment, I usually don't let shit like that get to me because I know what's ugly to someone is beautiful someone else. I've always been overly sensitive about how I look. My grandma is from an old school church where what YOU did as opposed to what Jesus did is what counted apparently:huh: Thanks again, you're awesome!:hug:


Yes, I have heard of Joyce Meyer and do some of her devotions with my kids at night. If you find your book let me know!
I am here if you need me as always! I can understand where your coming from regardless of an age difference I think myself and everyone at one time or another have had those feelings. The only thing is if they continue please see someone because you could be depressed and really not know it. Love to ya :hug: JC
 
Got Philk? said:


Hi,
I wanted you to know that what you wrote here is absolutely perfect. :)

I'm gonna try hard not to derail this...but some things you wrote hit home.

The first thing was I visited my grandmother a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, "Oh, you're getting heavy."

The second thing is this. I come from a very religious family. My father was a Pastor for years in fact. Thing is, they really are into small groups/praise and worship music and all that. Everyone in my family has followed what they have wanted except me. It seems once a month I get a huge tongue lashing for not "having enough God in my life." Especially since I've gotten married, since according to my mother, has changed my spiritual life so much that she is "very, very concerned" for me. It bugs me because what they don't know is what my wife and I talked about last weekend for a long time on the couch. What they don't know is what is in my heart.

I wrote too much...I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and it isn't fair that you are judged by others just by scratching the surface. But I know it hurts. So, :hug: And I will pray for you if you wish.


I say this quite often to my parents especially my mother. "You don't know me as a wife, mother or just me, you know me as a daughter and that is a completely different person from the rest."

Sounds like Sybil, but I think you know what I mean.
 
Those who judge others are hypocrits themselves. I'm sorry to say this and don't mean to offend any of you in this thread or any who consider themselves "Christians" or especially "good christians" (Is there really a difference?) but I have found in the last 5 years of my life that people who openly and proudly tag themselves as a "Christian" to be the most judgemental and hypocritical people I've ever known in my entire life. I'm not an athiest; I believe there's some higher spiritual power Out There and I believe, I pray and I've read most of the Bible; I was raised going to church every Sunday and was baptized & also married in the neighborhood Prebyterian church. I guess I have issue with the label of "Christian". Like it's a title or a nationality.... I wish people could just accept one another, respect one another as people and who we are as a person and individual which includes respecting our individual beliefs and values and just leave it at that.

Does anyone else feel this way?
 
yes. I think what is hard for me though is that is what I want, but it goes against everything I was taught by my parents, in my school, and sadly, even at my church at times I'm sure.

And because of this, it's almost a guilt that I have for not conforming to the beliefs that the people who raised me and even are at times around me say and think.

That said, I certainly have taken that step to finding out for myself what I believe and not what I was taught. It just sucks when those close to you in their own way tell you you're not walking with God and are on the wrong path.
 
Hi U2isthebest, how do you feel about today?

Being up and down, in full circle, that's life, so don't worry to much about it. A lot of problem that you couldn't solve, time would bring it away, little by little. All you need to do is concentrate on what come next. Sometimes, it just a trigger events, and everything would turn 180 degree back to normal.

I'm sorry to hear that people around you and your families couldn't be as supportive as you expected them to be, all in all, it's still up to them to decide what to do.

My suggestion to you is try to be more diplomatic when you deal with these people, in this period of time, kick the problem they rised back to them, ask them for suggestions, rather than simply let your frustration out.

These tricks works for me every time when I was pretty down, hopefully they could make your condition better too.

Good luck.
 
unico said:
Oh Britt, I'm so sorry to hear this. :hug: I would second Laura's suggestion of seeking a pastoral counselor or a spiritual director. They have them at churches, and there are many people who work in young adult ministry and are trained to help you. I'm thinking of you and I hope you find peace soon.

Thank you! Right back at you my dear! I hope you're feeling better than you were a couple days ago.:hug:
 
JCOSTER said:



Yes, I have heard of Joyce Meyer and do some of her devotions with my kids at night. If you find your book let me know!
I am here if you need me as always! I can understand where your coming from regardless of an age difference I think myself and everyone at one time or another have had those feelings. The only thing is if they continue please see someone because you could be depressed and really not know it. Love to ya :hug: JC

Thank you! I found the book, but I'll send that part to you later because I have to get ready for work now. I'm glad you "get" what's going on with me. :hug:
 
Carek1230 said:
Those who judge others are hypocrits themselves. I'm sorry to say this and don't mean to offend any of you in this thread or any who consider themselves "Christians" or especially "good christians" (Is there really a difference?) but I have found in the last 5 years of my life that people who openly and proudly tag themselves as a "Christian" to be the most judgemental and hypocritical people I've ever known in my entire life. I'm not an athiest; I believe there's some higher spiritual power Out There and I believe, I pray and I've read most of the Bible; I was raised going to church every Sunday and was baptized & also married in the neighborhood Prebyterian church. I guess I have issue with the label of "Christian". Like it's a title or a nationality.... I wish people could just accept one another, respect one another as people and who we are as a person and individual which includes respecting our individual beliefs and values and just leave it at that.

Does anyone else feel this way?

There isn't a difference IMO, in response to your first question. It frickin' pisses me off when people say "good" or "bad" Christian. In fact, if someone is considered a good Christian that's usually a sign that they're probably not the best walking billboard for Jesus:| You're not the only one that feels that way. I feel like shouting "Hey guys! You wanna know why people want nothing to do with Jesus or us? Because we're a bunch of self-righteous, joyless asses!":happy: I hate labels too. I love Jesus, that's all anyone needs to know.
 
Got Philk? said:
yes. I think what is hard for me though is that is what I want, but it goes against everything I was taught by my parents, in my school, and sadly, even at my church at times I'm sure.

And because of this, it's almost a guilt that I have for not conforming to the beliefs that the people who raised me and even are at times around me say and think.

That said, I certainly have taken that step to finding out for myself what I believe and not what I was taught. It just sucks when those close to you in their own way tell you you're not walking with God and are on the wrong path.

Exactly! You know, in another book I was reading, "The Signature of Jesus" by Brennan Manning he talks about the journey from Haran to Caanan (made by Abram from Haran to Caanan where he became Abraham) as our own personal faith journey. I'm interested in what The Bible says (not how "my church" interprets it) and what God speaks to me personally. I really have to conciously decide not to feel guilty because I'm not living up to the values and ideals of my family.
 
butter7 said:
Hi U2isthebest, how do you feel about today?

Being up and down, in full circle, that's life, so don't worry to much about it. A lot of problem that you couldn't solve, time would bring it away, little by little. All you need to do is concentrate on what come next. Sometimes, it just a trigger events, and everything would turn 180 degree back to normal.

I'm sorry to hear that people around you and your families couldn't be as supportive as you expected them to be, all in all, it's still up to them to decide what to do.

My suggestion to you is try to be more diplomatic when you deal with these people, in this period of time, kick the problem they rised back to them, ask them for suggestions, rather than simply let your frustration out.

These tricks works for me every time when I was pretty down, hopefully they could make your condition better too.

Good luck.

Thank you butter!:hug: I'm feeling better today! Your suggestions seem like they'll really work. I should probably try that sometime. Thanks!
 
U2isthebest said:


Exactly! You know, in another book I was reading, "The Signature of Jesus" by Brennan Manning he talks about the journey from Haran to Caanan (made by Abram from Haran to Caanan where he became Abraham) as our own personal faith journey. I'm interested in what The Bible says (not how "my church" interprets it) and what God speaks to me personally. I really have to conciously decide not to feel guilty because I'm not living up to the values and ideals of my family.



BINGO!

I hope it takes you less time to figure it out than it did for me. Because sometimes I am still trying to figure them out. It wasn't until my late 30's that I decided to be me for me, no one else.
 
Ah, this is what ZC is for! :love:

I went through the exact same thing you're going through now years ago. Panic attacks, crying for seemingly no reason, feeling like your whole world is collapsing, etc...

I think the reasons these things happen is due to stress. I had health problems at the time, and my parents were really struggling with their marriage. It was only natural that such things started happening. Once that stress was lifted, I started to feel quite a bit better.

I must say that (this is coming from a fellow Christian), you should talk with your mother about your grandmother. Family members can't be abusive to one another, it just shouldn't happen. Your mother loves you enough to take care of it even if it would add more stress to her life. I don't know how I would have made it through all of that without my family and my God.
 
LemonMelon said:
Ah, this is what ZC is for! :love:

I went through the exact same thing you're going through now years ago. Panic attacks, crying for seemingly no reason, feeling like your whole world is collapsing, etc...

I think the reasons these things happen is due to stress. I had health problems at the time, and my parents were really struggling with their marriage. It was only natural that such things started happening. Once that stress was lifted, I started to feel quite a bit better.

I must say that (this is coming from a fellow Christian), you should talk with your mother about your grandmother. Family members can't be abusive to one another, it just shouldn't happen. Your mother loves you enough to take care of it even if it would add more stress to her life. I don't know how I would have made it through all of that without my family and my God.

Thank you LemonMelon!!:kiss: I can definitely identify with what you're saying. I think once I get back in school in the fall and start hanging out with my friends more now that they're back from school for the summer etc., I'll start to feel better. I did tell my mom about what my grandma said and she's plenty pissed. My grandma has been like this with me for years starting about 10 years ago, when I was 8. It sucks, but I've had to learn to overlook it for the most part. Thanks for being there!!:hug:
 
U2isthebest said:


Thank you LemonMelon!!:kiss: I can definitely identify with what you're saying. I think once I get back in school in the fall and start hanging out with my friends more now that they're back from school for the summer etc., I'll start to feel better. I did tell my mom about what my grandma said and she's plenty pissed. My grandma has been like this with me for years starting about 10 years ago, when I was 8. It sucks, but I've had to learn to overlook it for the most part. Thanks for being there!!:hug:

Keeping busy (hanging with friends, focusing on school, etc) was a big part of what got me out of it. No two people are alike, however, and you will have to find what works for you. Trust me though, it's just a phase...you'll get out of it. I still have those negative thoughts sometimes, but they're short lived. :hug:
 
Outside of the whole Christian thing it hurts more than anything when relatives say such things to you. The toughest thing is to survive that sort of thing and to rise above it. Your faith can help, but you need other assistance from any person you can talk to about it. One of the best things you can accomplish in life is to truly love yourself in spite of tough times and tough people. The sad fact is that people can always be like that, but the happy fact is that you can always rise above it. It's not easy, but you can. Wounded and hurt yes and it can come back in your mind and drag you down but it won't destroy you . When you're young and during vulnerable times you think it will, but it won't.

When anyone tells you you "look like crap" it's just an indication of their complete lack of sensitivity and manners. The key is to not let that affect how you feel about yourself. It takes mental and emotional work to do that, but it is possible. Some books about female self esteem can help too :) And a doctor can help with panic attacks.
 
MrsSpringsteen said:
Outside of the whole Christian thing it hurts more than anything when relatives say such things to you. The toughest thing is to survive that sort of thing and to rise above it. Your faith can help, but you need other assistance from any person you can talk to about it. One of the best things you can accomplish in life is to truly love yourself in spite of tough times and tough people. The sad fact is that people can always be like that, but the happy fact is that you can always rise above it. It's not easy, but you can. Wounded and hurt yes and it can come back in your mind and drag you down but it won't destroy you . When you're young and during vulnerable times you think it will, but it won't.

When anyone tells you you "look like crap" it's just an indication of their complete lack of sensitivity and manners. The key is to not let that affect how you feel about yourself. It takes mental and emotional work to do that, but it is possible. Some books about female self esteem can help too :) And a doctor can help with panic attacks.

Thank you! You gave a lot of good advice for me to consider.:hug:
 
So now I'm back to hyperventilating and freaking out again. My grandma just called my mom's cell phone and asked to talk to me. My phone was on silent all night, and I haven't turned it on yet, so I missed a couple of her phone calls this morning. She started yelling at me and telling me that "the Lord spoke to her" and said I was going to have serious health problems if I don't lose weigh. I'm...not...fat.:banghead: Like, I said, I don't want to look like Nicole Richie. That doesn't equal fat. Anyway, I'm really scared because she had been telling me for the past couple weeks that "the Lord spoke to her" and said I was fine and that I'm just being spiritually attacked (which I think I feel deep down), but now I'm panicking. I got so freaked out after I got off the phone a few minutes ago that I kicked the wall and knocked a piece of it out. Now, I'm just scared, and I don't know what to think. Yesterday and so far today I'd been feeling so much better. Now I'm terrified again and back to the same old place. It's all my fault. I did something wrong, I wish I knew what. I'm sorry, I know I'm not making any sense.
 
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