I don't liked to be touched.

[meegannie]

I've only in recent years gotten to the point that I don't mind being hugged by people I know really well. Even hugging family members makes me really uncomfortable. I used to literally run away or get angry when someone I didn't know very well tried to hug me or touch me, but now I just don't say anything and put up with it because I don't want to seem rude or hurt anyone's feelings. I can't even stand or sit very close to someone without wanting to scream (unless I'm drunk, which is the only time my physical comfort zone has a radius of less than ten feet).

I'm just not a very physically affectionate person. Even making out is still a bit awkward for me and makes me really nervous sometimes. Which explains why, after living with my fiance for four months and being together for over a year, I'm still a virgin. The thought of sex gives me a panic attack, and even reading about it makes me want to run into a corner and cry (I should probably avoid MVD's threads ). I don't know why I'm so sensitive about it, but it really, really terrifies me.

I'll stop typing now that I've sufficiently humiliated myself and proven what a freak I am.

 

[IWasBored]

i don't like hugs at all. in fact, i really hate them.

i know i look like an idiot when i'm talking to people, because i seriously stand atleast 6 feet away. like they'll bite me or something. but really, i don't like having people in my space. 'sitting next to someone' means sitting a seat away.

i really hate people who feel the need to step on your feet while they're talking to you. it's like, could you please back up a little bit so i can breathe?

that being said, if i do to a show and there's some form of general addmision floor 'seating' involving getting squished between tons of strangers, i'm there. i'll squirm away if my best friend tries to give me a hug, but i can spend an hour and a half, 2 hours, hell, even 4 hours if there are multiple bands and the show is that long...squished in a crowd with absoultly no one i know. and at other shows where i'm not trying to be up in the front against the baracade or against the stage, there's loads of physical contact with strangers in a fucking MOSH PIT. concerts are the exception though. normally shy and quiet people do not usually wave their arms around and sing along loudly, and would not find it cool to have a microphone in their face to sing along with their favourite band.

so for the most part, i'm like you.

 

[bonosloveslave]

Your title made me think of deathbear

I wish I had some advice to offer.....

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[zoney!]

I'll just wave then!

 

[The Absent One]

Dont worry Sweetheart

 

[jkayet]

I've probably told you I don't think you are a freak for this at all, but I'll tell you again.

I relate in a lot of ways...just in a different way. My closed-offness is more emotional than physical. Even though I don't think I am a lot of the time, I've realized it's probably true. Which isn't useful since I - at least in theory - believe so much in emotional openness and all. Anyway, I know you're not alone out there in feeling how you do. I'm glad you have someone that can make affection easier for you and help you through the awkwardness. I think things like this take time. I sort of know what you mean though, even in terms of physical. If there's someone I know who just never hugs or I've never really had any physical contact with or something, when I, for instance, say goodbye and and supposed to hug them, it's always awkward to me. Ok, that is probably a poor analogy. sorry. But my point is, I do know what you mean...I'll go back to my incoherence now, thanks. 'In despair or incoherent, lalalala'

 

[flaming june]

You're not a freak! I think that's a pretty common problem. For example my sister is just like that. I too am very protective of my personal space... I mean, I like hugs from relatives and very close friends, but other than that they make me uncomfortable. And the sex thing... well, I like the thought of having a sex life someday, but right now, the idea scares me because I'm not crazy about how my body looks...

Mind if I hug you?

 

[The Absent One]

It probably doesnt help that I am a complete freak who needs to be hugged 100 times a day to feel loved!!! Sorry :embarrassed:

 

[meegannie]

And the sex thing... well, I like the thought of having a sex life someday, but right now, the idea scares me because I'm not crazy about how my body looks...

I think the body image is a big factor for me too.

 

[flaming june]

^ That's a common problem too.

Here you go...

Edit: This was directed at Absent One

 

[meegannie]

It probably doesnt help that I am a complete freak who needs to be hugged 100 times a day to feel loved!!! Sorry :embarrassed:

 

[flaming june]

I think the body image is a big factor for me too.

At the risk of sounding as politically incorrect as possible, I try to tell myself that there's people with uglier bodies than mine getting laid... so why can't I? I hasn't helped though...

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

The thought of sex gives me a panic attack, and even reading about it makes me want to run into a corner and cry (I should probably avoid MVD's threads ).

aww sorry hon.

 

[jkayet]

I'm a freak with a body image issue as well...although I guess that probably is a very common thing.

At the risk of sounding as politically incorrect as possible, I try to tell myself that there's people with uglier bodies than mine getting laid... so why can't I?

I understand. I think that's something a lot of people consider when they are frustrated at a lack of a sex life. I get sad about a lack of a realationship and do that. I catch myself seeing couples and thinking that there are girls who manage to be in a relationship with (at least a seemingly wonderful) guy and aren't better looking than me really...then I feel like a , but...

 

[flaming june]

I'm a freak with a body image issue as well...although I guess that probably is a very common thing.


I understand. I think that's something a lot of people consider when they are frustrated at a lack of a sex life. I get sad about a lack of a realationship and do that. I catch myself seeing couples and thinking that there are girls who manage to be in a relationship with (at least a seemingly wonderful) guy and aren't better looking than me really...then I feel like a , but...

I know, I do that too...

 

[arw]

I know exactly how you feel.

I'm not a touchy person at all. I hate when people I don't know touch me. It's more of a germ thing. If I don't know them then stay out of my space But it doesn't even matter if I do know them. I still don't want them touching me. My mom tries to hug me but I don't let her too often.

There's really only been a few people in my life that I've let into my personal space and I haven't liked it too much. I'd like for that to change some day.

 

[Schmeg]

I'm not very touchy either. I require a lot of personal space, to the point that I will actually back away from people if they're talking too close.

And I thought I was a total freak about the sex thing. Most of my friends are a LOT more comfortable with the idea, but I can't even think about it. someday, but right bow my emotional wall is way too high.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

I don't like to be touched by my immediate family (I don't know why) or by strangers. Anyone else I don't mind, but I won't usually initiate the physical contact.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

hahaha, I like the related links.

 

[mad1]

I find it hard to touch my mums feet sometimes.





I just find it hard to touch her sometimes.




she says it'll be diff when I meet a fella.





meegie.

 

[joyfulgirl]

There's a Seinfeld episode about this...

I grew up in a very non-demonstrative family so I am not terribly huggy touchy feelie either and I would prefer to hug just my closest friends (who are all insanely huggy touchy feelie kiss-on the-lipsies). But I find myself in this huggy community and last week after a business meeting with people I had just met they all had to hug me goodbye. What's wrong with a nice firm honest friendly handshake? When did handshakes become so unpopular? When I hug I want it to be real, and hugging in a business context, or with someone who is a friend of a friend or an acquaintance, often seems so awkward and insincere.

BUT...I love massages.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

Okay, I hate to be touched. It has nothing to do with abuse or anything creepy like that. I too, grew up in a family that was undemonstrative. It wasn't that my family doesn't love each other, we just have never been lovey-dovey. I hate massages. When I was in high school and on the swim team we would get rub downs before big meets from athletic trainers and I would dread it all day and be more tense afterward.

This has to do with why I don't like little kids too. Little kids like to be held and touched and I'm like "get away".
Anyway...boyfriends never seemed to bother me though. I think it was because they made me feel more secure.
Like Seinfeld I don't like a close talker either.

 

[najeena]

Just take it slow and easy with your fella, he'll understand (or should).

 

[Laura M]

I dont like ppl I dont know touching me either

I dont like being hugged by strangers either - it seems false and strange - i only like being hugged by ppl i know

I know this one freak and he always insists I hug him and he creeps me out

 

[The Absent One]

Let the worlds in. Touch is the only way you will ever me loved by a man. In the end, men need touch. It may be depressing, it may be shit, but its life. Im drunk, i need a hug.
Fuck the world!

 

[Salome]

What's wrong with a nice firm honest friendly handshake? When did handshakes become so unpopular? When I hug I want it to be real, and hugging in a business context, or with someone who is a friend of a friend or an acquaintance, often seems so awkward and insincere.

I love hugging
but if a stranger or - even worse - a business contact would try to hug me my initial reaction would probably be to slap them in the face

 

[hiphop]

Making love can be the most beautiful, natural thing. Why have fear of being close to the person you love.. closer than you every could dream of..

I think it all comes naturally, in time. You see, when a flower grows, it has to take time. There is no use in hurrying.

If you?re feeling uncomfortable when someone hugs you, and IF that disturbs you (if it doesn?t just keep it like it is) you can probably get used to it by.. building up a connection to ppl you know (and you can trust).. like, there are those games, you ever tried? You?re standing in a room, you close your eyes, f.e. Sam puts his hands on your shoulder and leads you around with closed eyes.

Hm, you know, just to open up, to let it be. to let go of your fear. Fear, for what? For the flower that?s ready to bloom to its fullest?

I think it has to do with not wanting to allow a certain closeness - in general. And I think you should work on that, unless you?re fine with it.

p.s. Danielle says fukkin up needs practice. Go ahead

 

[~LadyLemon~]

I have the opposite problem: I tend to crave human contact.

 

[miss-U2]

hi!!!!

i am happy that someone posted a thread like this before me...i have the same problem and i didnot dare posting...

i give you my email address miss_u2irish@hotmail.com because there are a lot of things i can't post here, all my friends and family can catch it, and i don't want to!!

but something happened to me in the past, and since then, i can't think about making love etc....

i will feel better if i could talk about this with someone who is in this case...

thank you!!