I dont know how to plan a wedding reception

[u2bonogirl]

Im trying to come up with a skeleton plan to go by at our wedding reception
The things that need to happen are
The people need to hang out and have some snacks while we're going pictures
Somewhere in there is a potluck meal
Toast
All the special dances, ours, and then mass dancing
Theres going to be a special song or two played by the guy whose marrying us, and Im also getting up there and doing a song with him
Weve got the bouquet toss and the garder toss
The last dance and the grand exit
Im not sure how to order these things, if some are to overlap, and how long theyre supposed to last

does anybody have any advice from being in a wedding or having one?

 

[bonosloveslave]

Are you having a DJ to play music? They usually end up being the activities director - let them know what you want done first, second, third etc - they announce when things are happening.

If you don't have a DJ, you'll need to appoint someone as an activities director - which will be hard job without a microphone...

 

[u2bonogirl]

we're doing our own music off a laptop and appointing somebody to deal with it
Aside from that we have an MC who is going to be keeping things going
The problem is giving him an order to do things in

 

[starsgoblue]

I suggest sitting down and programming a playlist on the laptop before hand... You can even do them in sections ie. "entrance music", "dining music", "shaking your booty music"

 

[fah]

How many people are you inviting?
Where is the wedding/reception being held?
Formal or informal or in between
Time of day?
How many of your friends are going to bridesmaids/ushers?
Do you have to worry about the weather?
Where do you want to take your wedding photos?

 

[bonosloveslave]

I don't think there is a right or wrong -

If I recall, the DJ didn't start talking right away. Most people go to the reception, mingle while they look for snacks or drinks. When your wedding party is done with pics and arrive at the hall, you can have the MC give a five minute warning to find a seat, as the wedding party will be announced shortly. Most people announce the couples in their wedding party as they walk in and go to the head table. It took us a few minutes to get settled, and we had to wait for dinner to be ready, so people just chatted until they announced dinner. You can have the MC give another 5 minute warning to find their seats again as dinner will be served soon.

When the potluck is all set up and ready to go, have the MC announce that the toasts are going to be made by Persons XYZ. When they are done, MC announces whoever will be saying the dinner blessing. Head table goes up first, make sure you have someone to let the other tables know when it is their turn to go up. You don't want to do anything else until the last table has been served and has had a chance to eat. Often the timing works out that the head table is done eating before all the tables have been served - we started going around to people at the tables while they were eating to thank them for coming.

When the MC sees that everyone at the last table served is about done, then the festivities can begin - and I don't think there is a right or wrong order there. We chose to cut the cake next - the MC announces that so whoever wants to watch/take pics etc can go to the cake table. We took a few minutes to clean up after that, then got the party started with the dancing. You might want to think about singing your song first when the most people are still likely to be there. Then everyone can go "AWWWWWWWWW ", the bride blushes , and the MC can announce your first dance together. The second song is usually when the wedding party is announced again and the couples dance together. 3rd song is usually an upbeat dance song to get people out on the floor. Play another upbeat song or 2, throw in a slow one or 2, then maybe a group thing like a dollar dance (if you do that) or the Chicken dance, hokey pokey etc. Another regular song or 2, then the bouquet and garter toss - people usually do them back to back. Then just going back and forth between faster and slower music until about 20-30 minutes before the hall says you have to be out by - this way you have time to get your stuff out of there. There is always a last song, MC announces that so people know this is their last chance.

I have never seen a grand exit - doesn't mean you can't do it though. It just often ends up that at the end of the night, there are usually only a few diehards left like family and the wedding party. The reception staff will likely be breathing down your neck to get your stuff and get out so people help get things out to the cars.

There really is not a right or wrong for anything - it is your day, you two do whatever your little heart desires

If any of this is 'like duh' - I apologize This is just basically how ours went and how the majority of weddings that I have been to flowed...

 

[u2bonogirl]

okay,
Ive begun a playlist (mostly u2 ) and I have the song for the procession
all I want is you
recession: streets
Father daughter dance: kite
first bride and groom dance: wowy
last dance: cant help u2 style
okay, theres going to be roughly 140 people there, and its held in a large reception room with no windows so we're doing a night theme
Its inbetween formal and informal I think.
The weddings at 1PM so reception....2:30?
We have 3 bridesmaids and groomsmen and then the "best people"
No worries about weather. This is the Oregon coast so we plan inside things
Wedding photos are going to be back at the church I think
We're having potluck style food and theyre trooping the food from the church which is like 3 miles down the road and almost a straight shot.
While thats happening we're taking pics

lots to think about

 

[fah]

Wedding at 1 pm...how long will the ceremoney take? Is it a quickie (20min) or longer (typical Catholic ceremony)

 

[bonosloveslave]

Ooo I forgot about the daddy/daughter dance and groom/mom dance - we spread these out I think but I have seen people do 1st dance -> wedding party dance -> daddy daughter dance -> mom groom dance - all right in a row.

 

[u2bonogirl]

thank you all so much for the great advice
This is really helpful because I didnt have any idea how to construct the order of things
Im getting excited!

 

[fah]

And now some thoughts about food:

Be very careful what you eat while wearing your dress.
Will it be a sit down meal?

 

[u2bonogirl]

yes, people will be sitting down
and Im terrified of eating something dangerous in my dress
should I stick to finger veggies and stuff like that?

 

[fah]

yes, people will be sitting down
and Im terrified of eating something dangerous in my dress
should I stick to finger veggies and stuff like that?

Sitting down

Do not eat anything with a red sauce - tomato, bbq, sweet/sour

~~voice of experience talking~~

Finger foods in bite size pieces or cut up your food into tiny tiny pieces

I seem to recall drinking a lot of beer at my wedding

 

[u2bonogirl]

did you have to pee a lot?

 

[fah]

did you have to pee a lot?

Nope, I could still hold it back then

 

[u2bonogirl]

Ive got a small bladder
One glass of wine and Im headed to the bathroom

 

[fah]

Sorry, I don't have any suggestions as to how to increase your bladder capacity ~ sorry

 

[u2bonogirl]

I get loose and horny from wine too
(theres a confession)
so maybe I need to save my wine capacity for when we get to the hotel anyway
not like I need to be begging to rush out of my own wedding reception

 

[u2bonogirl]

okay, heres a test drive of the running order


Guests arrive and begin eating finger food
MC cues people to get to the tables if they aren’t already
Announce the wedding party and seat them after theyre done with pictures
Announce toasts and each toaster
Bless dinner (Tim’s dad)
People dig into food and hang out
MC announces cutting of the cake
Cut cake, photo op!
Erin does whatever he’s planned to play
I do whatever we’ve planned to do together
First dance
Wedding party dance
Tara dad dance
Tim mom dance
Everybody dance dance dance! For like 10 songs
Bouquet toss
Garter toss
However much longer is reasonable for more songs
Last dance
We ‘leave’ (if we need to stay we can have a faux departure

Procession song- All I want is you
Recession song- Streets
First dance- WOWY
Last dance- cant help falling in love

Me with my dad- Kite
Tim and His mom-

 

[fah]

What about a receiving line?

Where all the guests get to meet all the members of the wedding party and a few select family members?

 

[u2bonogirl]

feck. good point
this is why I say its not set in stone
when is a good time for that?

 

[fah]

We did ours just after we entered the reception hall ~ everyone is there waiting to be fed

 

[u2bonogirl]

so, when we announce the wedding party we could line up somewhere in convenient in the room and people could come and do a meet and greet?
Or would it be better for the wedding party to all sit down at their table/tables and let people come to those?
I feel like an idiot right now

 

[fah]

You should always stand when you are meeting someone ~ it shows respect

 

[u2bonogirl]

I just remember being at two weddings where people went to meet the bride and groom at a table
But it seems more organized to just have everybody standing congregated in one spot for people to come say hi

 

[fah]

Have you thought about what you are going to give your guests a wedding memento/keepsake?

May I reccomend a cd of your favourite songs...not that there is anything wrong with that little piece of wedding cake or those candy almonds

 

[u2bonogirl]

actually we have
Tim spent hours laboring over a DVD to send everyone home with
Its almost 20 minutes long with slideshows of us growing up, video of him proposing to me, audio of our engagement announcement at church, and all overlayed with u2 songs
Its pretty effing cool if I might say so myself

 

[fah]

That sounds like a great memento

 

[u2bonogirl]

we could stick a little candy corn in the case if it would make you feel better

Thank you all for the awesome help so far
Im sure I'll be back
But its almost time for me to attempt to get some beauty sleep because God knows I need it
and I cant be crabby for my dress fitting tomorrow in case something doesnt fit right

Im sure I wouldnt be the first bride to burst into tears in a bridal shop

 

[hiphop]

we're doing our own music off a laptop and appointing somebody to deal with it
Aside from that we have an MC who is going to be keeping things going
The problem is giving him an order to do things in

Yo an MC

yo 140 people

the songs you chose are great
if i ever marry, i want a gospel choire
all i want is you is such a great song.. and your dad will like kite n to dance with his daughter and she´s all grown up now *burst into tears of joy*

all the best, and lots of fun