I did something really stupid & dangerous

[oliveu2cm]

First of all, if you read this and think "Oh it's not so bad" pleasseeee don't ever use me as an example of someone who was "okay" or whatever! Because I really think what I did was dumb! (Granted I do live in Mass where people are more conditioned to be wary of others, but ya never know, anywhere in the world..)

anyway here's what happened. three weeks ago i was heading home for Christmas, but I went to my hair salon to get a haircut. My car was filled with my stuff & presents.

The salon I go to is pretty fancy & expensive. So as I'm putting on my jacket I hear a woman asking the receptionist where her taxi was. And the receptionist saying she didn't know, should she call another? And the woman sort of complaining. Then I walk to the door to leave and the (old) woman waiting is standing in the doorway. And she asks me if I'm leaving.. (uh-oh) and I get nervous because I don't want to look like a bitch in front of the receptionist & people waiting.. (stupid!) anyway I'm like "well i have to pick up my sister.." and the old woman was like, "i'm just going up the street, the taxi isn't here, i'll pay you.."

For some really really stupid weak reason I said okay (not to take the money! but to drive her up the street, literally 2 miles). anyway it was clear after speaking to her for 30 seconds she was out of her wits. She repeated everything, constantly called me hon, kept asking me my name, saying thanks, telling me about her husband who had died right after he retired, how she was alone, how you can't get nowhere if you don't have a car, thanks hon.

Okay so I'm an educated and pretty cautious woman. I'm constantly aware of my surroundings and never do anything like this. But.. for some dumb reason I didn't say no. I did look at her purse before i accepted (small, couldn't fit a weapon.. haha it could have though, a weapon doesn't necessarily mean a gun).

But as I was driving she was rambling and all of a sudden I asked myself what would I do if she didn't get out of my car? Or if she needed to go down a side alley and who knew if she could have coherts waiting there.. who knows?!

Thankfully she remembered where she was going and got out easily (not before she says to me: "you are very nice, thanks hon." and i'm like "oh you seem very nice too." and she looks at me, with these empty, dark eyes *chill* and was like, "no, i'm not." (is there a smilie for fear?)) anyway..

just a precaution. yeah it was "nice" but it was utterly stupid. i should never have cared if the people in the salon thought i was a bitch to one of their customers. thank God nothing happened!

 

[diamond]

i think it was nice u gave the old lady a ride.

 

[tiny dancer]

I think that woman was just lonely and would not of harmed you in any way. It was kind of you to give her a ride. I'm around old people a lot and believe me some of them are worst off than the lady you helped.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Sounds like she was old, not out of her wits. And she needed a lift and asked because she remembered a time when that was a safe thing to do. She could've been my mother, you know? And I hope someone would help my mother out like that.

Stupid was when I jumped on the back of a motorcycle in Florence with a guy I never met and who didn't speak English when I didn't speak Italian. (But it was fun!) Giving a ride to an old woman a couple of blocks up the street is just human decency.

Random acts of kindness, selfless service

 

[oliveu2cm]

She wasn't old like grandmotherly, but old like she'd lived a hard life.

Anyway, thanks for what you've all said.

I still wouldn't it again. I felt very weird after she left.

 

[nbcrusader]

Stepping out like you did can feel weird. Somehow, we have this built in notion that if we do a kind selfless act, we will feel good about it afterwards. But we don?t do these acts for us; we do them for those we help.

It was a simple gesture on your part, but one this lady may remember for some time.

 

[joyfulgirl]

She wasn't old like grandmotherly, but old like she'd lived a hard life.

My bad for thinking she was old just because her husband had retired and then died. Retired people aren't necessarily 'old' and I'm ashamed of myself.

Anyway, I like what nbcrusader said. It can indeed feel weird to step outside of our safety zone, if I can put it that way, even if it helps another. But I think what you did was really nice.

 

[meegannie]

I was all "la la la la la!" until this point:

Thankfully she remembered where she was going and got out easily (not before she says to me: "you are very nice, thanks hon." and i'm like "oh you seem very nice too." and she looks at me, with these empty, dark eyes *chill* and was like, "no, i'm not."

 

[oliveu2cm]

I was all "la la la la la!" until this point:

Yes! that was very unsettling. Made my stomach twitch a little and then i was like- what if she doesn't get out?

joyfulgirl- i'm confused too lOL. She was an older woman (60?) but not like in that sweet old grandmother type.

Oh well. nbcrusader, you make a lot of sense. thanks.

 

[bonosloveslave]

Glad you're ok - creepy about her getting super weird at the end...

About 3 years ago my beater car died twice within a 2 month span while I was on a major expressway. I ended up hitching a ride both times, thank the Lord for keeping me safe. I don't know what I would have said if they looked creepy cuz it was a looooong walk to an exit each time. The first guy that stopped for me was wearing a suit, looked like he was probably a dad and I didn't have a bad feeling. The second was 2 guys (which was probably a REALLY bad idea) but they were in a truck with business info and telephone numbers written on the sides so for some reason I thought that was a good sign. Both times I was on my way to take an exam for my organic chem class, I think maybe if I didn't have a pressing reason to get somewhere I probably would have just sat in the car and hoped a cop came by. After the second time I finally got a cell phone, and of course I haven't needed it for car trouble yet, but it's good to have.

No more rides with strangers for either of us!

 

[adamswildhoney]

eek! I would never give some one a ride, unless i knew them. Glad nothing happen to you Olive!!!

 

[joyfulgirl]

You know, I'm wondering if this, in my opinion, overly cautious reaction is a distinctly American one. When I was traveling around Europe, I had strangers offer me rides, meals, places to sleep all the time. A man in Paris I talked with for half an hour on a park bench said he was leaving town the next day to vacation with his family in the south and gave me keys to his apartment because he didn't like the neighborhood where I said I was staying. No strings attached. As he handed me the keys he said, "Hmm...the last time I did this with an American girl she stole my camera. Oh well." and shrugged and told me to have fun. So I got two weeks free lodging in a gorgeous apt from a total stranger. Can you believe that?!

In Austria a young woman on the train offered me lodging when I mentioned I had miscalculated the arrival time into Vienna and would arrive too late to get money exchanged. She said, 'no problem--my father is meeting me at the train, we'll take care of you.' And they did.

And then there was the Italian I mentioned above...

And the nice people in Copenhagen...

I mean, literally, these were common experiences for me.

I agree, though, that one has to be discriminating here in America.

 

[martha]

I gave a ride to two men who had run out of gas in their RV out near Joshua Tree. Another time I gave a ride to a guy who was in a motorcycle accident I witnessed. He was in great pain and needed to go home. In retrospect, those may have been foolish things to do, but if you trust your instincts, you will be okay most of the time.

Olive, you did something kind for someone. You may never know the positive effects of what you did. Stop beating yourself up for your kindness and your refusal to live your life in fear.

I too really like what nbcrusader said about doing these acts for those we help, not for ourselves.

 

[Like O2]

... constantly called me hon...

I call everyone "sweetie" (maybe it's a Southern thing.)

In America, "old" people get little respect and even less decent care. I think what you did was very kind.

Karma, baby!

 

[FallingStar]

*creepy*

 

[Giant Lemon]

Although that woman may have been a little creepy, I still think you did a very kind thing by giving her a ride. I can understand being wary of giving strangers rides, though.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

my husband and i did something kinda similar the other day, when we were downtown looking at apartments. this guy stopped us as we were walking, and i was afraid he was going to ask us for a ride or something (even though we weren't walking, he could've assumed we had a car). he said he was $1.86 short (for what i don't know) and asked us if we could lend him the money. he was really nice, he said he wasn't going to rob us and he wasn't one of those "mea black motherfuckers."

i didn't have the money (i knew i had like a twenty in my wallet and no ones) so my husband gave him $2. later on i joked with him that we should've asked for the 32 cents change. he didn't rob us or anything, but we went with our instincts, and nothing went wrong. same thing happened to you.

 

[hiphop]

What diamond and joyfulgirl said.

Listen, just last night I had a homeless couple staying on a sofa in my apartment with all the studio gear around. Since I got stolen one time, I am more careful now, in the sense of not leaving money anywhere or locking the door so no one can get out in the night. But I wouldn?t see any reason why... if I have a good impression, if I look into the people?s eyes and think they?re ok.

I don?t think you were stupid at all. I think its the most normal and nice thing to trust until you?re proved wrong. Be helpful. Spread some good karma. It all comes back onto you. And my god, it was just a ride in your car.

Anyway, if I was female, I would be more careful, meaning that if your passenger was male, I wouldn?t have offered him a ride, whatever story he tells.