I did something horribly stupid last night, and I feel terrible.

[Giant Lemon]

I feel like the biggest fucking idiot in the world. Because of my stupid behavior, I've made one of my closest friends very upset. I'm afraid she'll never trust me in the same way again, and I don't think there's anything I can do to make it better.

Here's what happened: My friend (I'll call her Mary) found out that this guy (I'll call him Jim) was interested in her. Mary wasn't initially attracted to him, but she was open to getting to know him better and seeing how things went. Well, at a party last night the 3 of us were there, and I was talking to Jim a lot. We were both pretty drunk, and we ended up kissing (which Mary saw). This was the stupidest thing ever for me to do- I have no idea what I was thinking. Plus, Jim and I aren't interested in each other romantically or whatever, so there was no point. To make matters worse, I have no memory of some of the events of last night due to my large amount of drinking (another mistake), so I actually don't remember us kissing and wouldn't have known if Jim hadn't brought it up this morning. He asked me something about it, and I was like "what?!?! I didn't know there was any kissing last night!" And I knew Mary would be really upset.

So Mary talked to me this afternoon, and I told her that I'm sorry and that I realize I did a really horrible thing. Not that that makes it any better. I'm sure she'll get over it eventually, but I know that she's lost A LOT of trust in me. It's like I betrayed her. I can't believe I did something like this, and when Mary asked what I was thinking when I was kissing Jim I couldn't even tell her because I don't remember! I'm so mad at myself.

I would really like to make it up to her or try to make the situation better, but I don't know what to do. Should I give her flowers? Bake her a cake? I realize that something material can't change things, but I'd like to do something for her. This is just a horrible situation.

 

[nbcrusader]

Maybe Mary learned something about Jim that she didn't know before. Maybe she didn't want to learn this.

If you talked to Mary openly and honestly, I can't imagine what more you need to do.

 

[bonosloveslave]

Don't beat yourself up over it - as long as you've apologized to your friend, and realized what changes you need to make so it doesn't happen again (ie not drinking to the point of blacking out), you've done about all you can do. Maybe you can send her a card just reiterating that you appreciate having her as a friend.

 

[Sicy]

Jim's not a very cool guy if he is interested in her but kissed you.

All you can really do is apologize. If she considers you a true friend she will forgive you.

 

[jkayet]

All you can really do is apologize. If she considers you a true friend she will forgive you.

Exactly. You talked to her about the situation so she knows what happened, and if she really knows you she understands that you are hurting just as much as she is now. Everyone screws up from time to time. I guess just give it some time and keep trying to talk to her...the card sounds like a good idea.

As for Jim, I agree - probably someone neither one of you really want to deal with anymore. It might not be the best way to discover what he's like, but things happen for some reason.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Thanks, guys. Hopefully things will be better soon. It's just hard right now because Mary and I live together, and there's definitely weirdness between us. We've been kind of avoiding each other the whole day.

 

[melon]

Apologize to your friend, and just sincerely explain your side of the story. It is really all you can do.

And, as a side note, perhaps quit the drunkenness? Otherwise, you're bound to do something worse in the future. It's pretty bad that you don't have any memory of what happened.

Melon

 

[Angel]

Give it time. She will get over it, but tell me- how do you not remember? I am no Saint and have done some pretty questionable things in the past, but I always remember to a degree. You're lucky nothing else happened.

You know, I am totally not judging you here, but perhaps your friend is more mad at how drunk you were and the fact that you don't remember what happened, than the fact that you actually kissed Jim? Just a thought.

 

[Sicy]

Give it time. She will get over it, but tell me- how do you not remember? I am no Saint and have done some pretty questionable things in the past, but I always remember to a degree. You're lucky nothing else happened.

I was gonna say that too. I cant count how many times I've been so completely wasted off my ass.. but I always remember what happened the night before. I mean I may forget minor details but I'd certainly remember if I kissed someone.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Whew- I gave Mary a card today where I clarified my feelings and apologized a million times over, and we talked today and everything's okay. Thank god- I'm so relieved.

About the blacking out, it's never happened to me before, although a friend of mine said that it's happened to her once. But regardless, I have definitely learned my lesson, and there's no way I'm ever going to drink that much again. I know that sounds like an empty promise, but I genuinely think this whole experience is going to prevent me from doing anything so stupid agian. I usually only have a drink or two when I go out, but Saturday was an exception and I've paid the price.

 

[Sicy]

 

[jkayet]

Glad it worked out!

I know what you mean about the blacking out. I'm not a huge drinker, but I've always been able to handle my alcohol. The past few times, however, have been an exception, one of which included me totally forgetting the majority of a night. I think it's a combination of factors, to be honest. My body wasn't as used to constant drinking, I hadn't eaten much, etc...it is very scary when that happens though.

 

[Angel]

I am so glad it all worked out.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

i blacked out once from excess drinking on new years eve 1995. it was not a smart thing at all. i have no memory of half of that night. my friend had to tell me all of the stupid things i said and i did the night before. she was not happy with my behaviour because of the amount of drinking i did. needless to say i received lectures from a ton of people including my parents and friend's parents. i am lucky i am alive and have learned my lesson and I now know when to cut myself off.

anyway, i am glad you and your friend are ok.

 

[joyfulgirl]

When I was in college, I walked in on my drunk best friend/roommate making out with a guy I was dating. I ditched him but she and I became closer because she felt so awful.

 

[Giant Lemon]

When I was in college, I walked in on my drunk best friend/roommate making out with a guy I was dating. I ditched him but she and I became closer because she felt so awful.

Wow, that hits close to home. I'm glad it has such a happy ending.

Thanks for the s, everyone! I really appreciate it.