I am uncharitable!

[AvsGirl41]

Or evil, if you will.

Today, I was waiting at the train station for someone to come pick me up. It was really cold, I was wearing lightweight clothing (it was really warm when I left and suddenly turned wicked cold) and I was tired.

Anyway, this girl got out of a car, then started acting kind of weird. She ran up to me, apparently distraught and wanted to know if I had $2.00 so she could buy a train ticket. She didn't look like she had a purse or anything with her.

I was so grouchy and I'm so used to being hit up for money by creeps that I said no, I didn't have any. But I did. She was like "It's ok" and ran off to knock on someone's window to see if they had money.

Anyway, I felt terrible--at first I was like "Who the heck goes to the train station with no cash? She must be crazy." and she did kind of act nuts. But then I thought, it was only $2.00 and I should have given it to her, it wasn't like she was one of the creepy deadbeats who usually hit me up.

This will surely impact my karma for weeks to come.

 

[BAW]

Don't feel bad...chances are she didn't really need a train ticket.

About a month ago, this woman pulled up to me in a Target parking lot and told me she needed $5 because she was stranded, someone stole her purse and her kids were starving. I felt terrible but I just didn't believe her. I told her I didn't have any cash.

I've seen firsthand through some undesireable relatives that asking strangers for money for a train ticket or for gas or to feed their hungry kids is usually a scam.

 

[Liesje]

One of my teachers told us a story once about how a guy showed up at his door asking for a few bucks so he could buy diapers for his new baby. My teacher said no, he didn't have any cash, but he had plenty of newborn diapers the man was welcome to take. The guy just looked surprised and ran off.

 

[BAW]

Yup...years ago, a homeless guy outside of a restaurant told us he was hungry and needed some money for food. We gave him our doggy bags of food instead and he threw it back at us and started yelling obscenities.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

yeah, that's why i prefer to give homeless food, cause it's impossible to tell who is trying to scam you and who isn't. If they're being honest they will appreciate the food, if they aren't then you won't have wasted your money.

 

[martha]

Some random guy wanted gas money from me at Target a few nights ago. No deal. I almost told him I'd give him a dime to call a friend to come pick him up, but I don't like to engage strange men in conversations in dark parking lots late at night.



Well, most of the time, anyway.

 

[AvsGirl41]

Well, she was dressed nicely, but it did strike me as rather odd to be there without money, a phone, etc. Nicely dressed doesn't equal honest...

I'm glad I'm not just hard-hearted, just suspicious.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I'm typically very generous..but....

A few years ago, some guy hit me up for "gas money"...said that his car was in the lot and that he needed to get "somewhere". I sensed he was sincere, handed him a few bucks and then "felt good about myself".

Following week, I'm wearing completely different clothing and a hat...sonofabitch walks up to me again with the same storyline..
a few %#*&!@ later and a threat to call the cops on him, that M-F went running off, jumped into his car and took off like a bat out of hell! Never saw him or that car again....!

That guy ruined my genorosity to others. I've learned from that saying No! is okay.

 

[cell]

i used to be generous, then i became not so generous, then recently became generous after remembering what my brother did...few years ago, some guy walked up to me, my exhusband and my brother and he asked him for a dollar. my ex kept saying dont do it, loud enough even for the guy to hear, and my brother just handed him a dolllar. of course the guy took off. then my ex was like...thats one dollar wasted bro...

and my brother's attitude is just give it. you never know.

so im trying to follow my brother's example...kinda hard when your already suspicious of anyone you dont know asking for money.

 

[fah]

I am naturally suspicious of persons asking/begging for money but occasionally I donate to the cause. There are a lot of street people where I live and I find it hard to believe that all of them are trying to rip me off. For sure there are some who are but there are others who have had a bad turn in life and really need help. I always keep a few extra quarters in my pocket for those who might need them.

 

[beli]

I dont believe you can judge a person by their clothes and appearance. I once spent a "Stop the Bloody Whaling" march next to a busker. During the course of the day we got talking and it turned out he earned more than me and he didnt pay taxes!

Offering food is a good option. I have done this also. Most have taken it. But then I dont tend to let the dodgy ones too close. The steps to the Opera House in Sydney is a good place for dodgy people. Tonnes of em.

 

[ABEL]

one time a lady at the grocery store asked me for a dollar as she drove by in the parking lot, saying she was almost out of gas...i believed her and gave her the dollar, she looked kinda frantic at the time, and said she had to get home to her kids. i'm a little more leary now about giving money to just anyone like that tho, after hearing all kinds of stories.

recently a few months ago, i was at the gas station one night getting gas. i only had a $20 bill with me. before i even opened the door there was some guy talking to me through my closed window, raising his voice so i could hear him, he seemed kinda frantic and crazed. he said he'd been robbed twice that night and needed money to get gas in his car cuz they got his wallet. i didn't even open my window for him and just told him i didn't have it. that $20 bill had to last me the rest of the week till i got paid too. i guess i felt a bit more vulnerable in that situation too, being alone at a gas station at night, with some crazy guy yelling in the window.

 

[Nesskelz]

One time I was stranded at a bus station, with no money and no way to get home. All I needed was a dollar for the bus. I asked about five people and they all said no. Then a homeless guy came up to me and gave me the dollar. After that happened, I always give them spare change, because they might actually really need it .

 

[najeena]

You can always make up for karma damaging situations by doing a good deed. Or several.

 

[enggirl]

It's hard. You feel wary and scared (I'm not real keen on being approached in parking lots by guys when I'm alone!) and sure you're getting ripped off (the one about needing gas--it happens here, too. This guy says his wife's at the hospital having a baby and he's run out of gas. My husband offered to being him a can of gas and the guy tharned and said no!).

On the other hand, I think "If $1 or $5 or even $20 will make that much of a difference to someone else, and losing it won't affect my life at all...why not just give it?"

But there's no way I'm taking my wallet out to do so. I work downtown and have to walk several blocks from the parking garage (don't even get me started on that creepiness!) to work everyday and get panhandled all the time. I even put my wallet in my pocket and wear my purse as a decoy. If someone rips it off, they get a comb, gum and tampons!

When I think about it, I keep $1 in my pocket, too. But I also donate $$ to the United way and other charity things at work (we do stuff for homeless shelter and food banks). So if I say no to someone on the street, I don't feel so bad long after. But it's like I need therapy each time right after. It makes me feel like such a greedy heel.