I am pretty sure I don't like my father

[starsgoblue]

My parents have been divorced since I was seven. Since the divorce my father has basically done whatever he's wanted to do without caring about me. When I grew up with my mother money was tight as she didn't have a great job (and I now know that my father didn't pay his full amount of child support even though my mother would never tell me) and things for my mother haven't been easy at all...her car recently finally went to car heaven--so she has NO car and she's still trying to do her best to just make ends meet. The woman doesn't have a computer and I recently got a newer one so I had decided that I was going to fix the old one up and give it to her when I went to visit her for Christmas. I had asked my grandmother (on my dad's side) if I could have her old monitor. I was really excited to be able to do something special for my mother this Christmas, she's deserves alot more than I can give her.

Well my father has found a way to ruin it... He's demanding that he NEEDS the monitor because it supposedly hurts his neck to use his laptop for long periods of time. This man is a classic hypochondriac and acts like a baby everytime he's "sick"....demanding everyone caters to him. It's looking like I'm going to have to give it back because my grandmother told me to bring it to him.

I swear if the man ever did anything in his life that wasn't motivated by his own selfishness I'd die of shock. He called ME selfish for telling him that I was really unhappy about this situation. I'm seriously thinking this might be the last straw....

/end rant

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

Stars!

If you don't depend on him anymore then maybe you should tell him how you feel about the person he is. I'm sure he would think his daughter's opinion about him is valuable in some way.

 

[starsgoblue]

I'm sure he would think his daughter's opinion about him is valuable in some way.

BrazilianFly


You would think so, wouldn't you? He doesn't love me. This man wrote two books, lived for awhile out in Cali and drove a Beemer while my mom and I scraped by.

I'm really upset about my mother. I was really excited to be able to give her this...since she doesn't have a car anymore she is dependent on others to 'reach the outside world' and I thought her being able to use the internet and all would be a nice escape for her....what's worse is that I had already told her I was bringing it to her. Now I have to tell her I can't---this isn't right.

 

[indra]

That sucks. I'm sorry your gift isn't working out how you wanted it to. You know, some people just never should be parents (trust me, I know a lot more than I would like to about scraping by while my dad did whatever the fuck he wanted -- even before my parents divorce).

Is there a Goodwill or some similar place near you? Sometimes there are used monitors for sale there and they can be quite inexpensive, yet still in good shape. It might be best to check a few such places right after Christmas, since many people donate older equipment when they get new stuff for the holidays. I know people who have put together whole systems from components they found at thrift stores. It's worth a try anyway.

 

[Liesje]

Aw, stars! If you lived closer, you could come get a monitor from me. I do know of one thing, it's an organization called Freecycle and they have message board groups based on where you live. All you do is request things wanted or things for free (it's ONLY free stuff, no selling or trading). Here is the link, maybe there is a group for where you live:

http://www.freecycle.org/display.php?region=US Central

I bet you could find an even better monitor and tell your dad he can shove his up his ass

 

[U2democrat]

lol liv

stars

i really hope things work out for you!

 

[lauren430]

Maybe this is kind of bitchy, but it sounds like your dad doesn't really deserve the monitor anyway. Can you explain the situation to your grandmother and point out that your dad has plenty of money, so he can buy one himself no problem, and she had already promised the monitor to you?
Good luck

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Dads are a riot, aren't they, stars?

I've had more issues with my Dad over my 26 years than I really care to go into, but I'm posting to tell you I know how it is to have a Dad who would never win "Father of the Year". I have said time and again that after every selfish thing he does that hurts either me or my mom, I'm finished with him, but it's so hard to cut that string when it's your dad.

My Dad could have written the book for selfish jerks, and like Liv said sometimes you'd like to stick that book (or monitor) up where the sun doesn't shine.

I'm sorry you have to put up with such shit, especially when it's coming from a parent.

 

[tiny dancer]

star

 

[elfyx]

stars,

 

[HelloAngel]

Just wanted to chime in here too, Stars. I too am a charter member of the I Have a Deadbeat Jerk Psycho Father club.

Hang in there, sweetie. We're all here for you.

 

[Dutch Partygirl]

Trade the monitor for the laptop! (or is this a really stupid idea?? It's getting late here and I'm not really awake anymore).

Anyway, he doesn't deserve it.

 

[Lil'Bono]

I wanna join the club too!!
Your dads seem like total arseholes, and i thought i was the only one who had to put up with a dickhead for a dad!!
stars
angel
pop angel

 

[TwoAmericas]

I wanna join the club too!!
Your dads seem like total arseholes, and i thought i was the only one who had to put up with a dickhead for a dad!!
stars
angel
pop angel

my exact sentiments.

Boy, some guys just shouldn't be fathers. Don't these guys realize that being a father is probably the greatest thing in life.

I am not a father, but at least I understand what it means to be one.

Stars, it seems like your father is being a big baby. Either that, or he just doesn't want to see your mom happy.
Divorce sucks. I don't think I'll ever get married, but if I do, I will never get a divorce. I don't believe in it. Being in love means being commited and faithful, plus making sacrifices. Why can't married people understand that?

 

[verte76]

I'm telling you, there are some parents out there who should have never had kids. There's no way they can break out of an incredible amount of a selfish and petty mentality, and alot of innocent people suffer for their shenanigans. I hope you can get this worked out stars. I'm praying for you, this has got to be a bitch to put up with.

 

[angel_of_L.A.]

 

[all_i_want]

you know, if your dad is making such a big deal out of a monitor, it probably is not about the monitor. he probably just doesnt want your mom to have it, you know, out of spite.

you'll find a way out of this monitor situation somehow, but what matters in the end is that you were there for your mom and that bond between you two is something no one could take away. some wise man said.. we get to carry each other

i wish you all the best

 

[indra]

Divorce sucks. I don't think I'll ever get married, but if I do, I will never get a divorce. I don't believe in it. Being in love means being commited and faithful, plus making sacrifices. Why can't married people understand that?

I don't mean to hijack your thread starsgoblue, so I'll be quick.

Divorce is a wonderful thing when it is needed. Many times it's not the divorce which is bad, but the marriage. I don't think anyone should have to remain in a loveless or abusive marriage. Marriages which end in divorce didn't go from being happy to miserable at the point of the divorce.

 

[starsgoblue]

I consider it a blessing my parents are no longer married....my mom probably would have lost her mind living with that man....No prob, Indra.


Thanks for all the hugs and support guys. It's comforting to know I'm not the alone with 'father' problems.....

 

[carrieluvv]

god this thread is long gone......

but...I hope you ended up not giving him back the monitor.