i am irresponsible and its finally caught up with me

[zooropamanda]

i have floundered around for the whole year so far and have only had one job which lasted so little time it wasn't funny.
I have so many bills, i can't pay any of them.
My car is unregistered and can't be driven because Im so poor. My credit cards are going to cause me to get a big red line through my name and prolly will stop me from being able to get a loan in the future.
i have car a loan to pay off.
i have stupid internet bills, WHICH I CANT EVEN CANCEL BECAUSE THE COMPANY INFORMS ME I AM ON A CONTRACT TILL SEPTEMBER. I didnt know about this because my stupid brother set it up for us both.

My real confession is however that the reason I am so broke is because I have stopped doing teaching which is my source of income. I did about 4 days teaching work before the other piddley job I had and thats it for the whole year.
I am letting myself go to ruin because I can't stomach teaching.
And now Ive had a major break from it and had a change with the other job which just ended, I am now ready to go back and do the bloody teaching because I have to but....its now school holidays for 2 weeks so I wont get any work!!!!!

I keep getting rejection after rejection for jobs because Im either not experienced in that field or bloody over qualified. I must admit this job did feel a bit degrading because some people treated me like thats all I was, and i didn't like it at all. Never assume about people who work with the general public, is my new motto.

Why have I done this to myself?
I'm the biggest most immature irresponsible fool and its finally bit me on the butt.
My family depends on me too to help out with finances a lot and I've let them down.
Im in such a mess and i feel like a slimey piece of shit because I tried to make a change in my life.

There I said it.

 

[Angel]

Amanda, you'll get through this. I have faith in you.

((((hugs)))))

Your Jeep has faith in you.

You have to start living for yourself and not for others. Your family may depend on you financially, but it is up to you in the end how to support them. If teaching is no longer your passion, then you must move on. Being in debt is one thing, allowing it to rule you is another. Most have us have been in debt at one point or another in our lives and it sucks, but don't let it ruin you. Make a plan, be patient, and let things be.

Anyway.... I don't know all that's going in your life, and I am not about to give advice where I haven't a clue what's going on, but I know you're strong, and you'll get through this.

 

[foray]

Manda, a woman with your talent talking like this? If you don't survive, none of us have a hope!

*slaps manda around with a large piece of roti

A solution will come to you soon. I too have faith in you (even though you're a little weird).

foray

 

[bono_man]

Amanda,

That doesnt really make you disorganised dear. It just means you havent really found your true calling yet. You are a lovely, talented girl and I'm sure what you want in life is right around the corner.

Now, this 'right around the corner' might be one week, one month, or one year! But stick in babe, you are a great person and I know you will get what you deserve in time. Stay happy and stay good.

**hugs**


------------------
"we're free to fly the crimson sky...the sun won't melt our wings tonight..."

 

[ghetofabu]

"When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings?"

-William C. Bagley, Craftmanship in Teaching

 

[ACROB@T]

you have a lot going for you manda..whatever paths you want to follow are always worth the wait and patience behind them...

*has faith as well

 

[BabyGrace]

listen to your friends Manda, they are so right. and you're too talented to be this down on yourself, be patient and please please please don't be so hard on yourself.