How to make friends and influence people?

[CKONE]

Thats my question. I dont appear to have endered (sp) myself to members here since recently joining and I do appear to be unintentionally winding up Mods (soz BC).

I am not a self publicist as some have suggested as I dont have anything to self publicise (if that makes sense).

Anyway, any probs let me know as discussion always sorts it out in the end.

Cheers all the best.

 

[Angela Harlem]

i've noticed you and thought you were actually pretty cool. i was just (not 10 minutes ago) silently applauding your post on hooliganism vs racism in that soccer thread. some fym folk make me want to run a sharp knife through lifesized voodoo dolls, but you were like a ray of sunlight.

please, keep it up!

 

[Laura M]

i've noticed you and thought you were actually pretty cool.

You can't please everyone.

 

[Angela Harlem]

i think i missed something, lol.

 

[Laura M]

i think i missed something, lol.

I quoted you as I wanted to say the same thing to CK.

Then I also wanted to say to him that you couldn't please everyone. It was unrelated to your quote, sorry.

 

[Angela Harlem]

no worries. my misunderstanding

 

[CKONE]

Well I have been cheered up no end now

I will ditch the paranoia.

 

[Laura M]

I just keep my head down here, post if I feel like it, sometimes I won't post for a few weeks or months. Sometimes I think there can be a lot of ganging up on individuals and bad feeling on forums and I don't understand that, it seems like a waste of time.

 

[Sicy]

My suggestion would be to read and get to know people for a while before you just jump in and start posting. Get an understanding to what this place is about, the people, the rules, etc.

 

[CKONE]

Believe me I have checked out the rules. They look lovely.

I dont feel comfortable standing back and ignoring threads I think I can or I would like to contribute to. Soz its just not me.

My views are my views and are unlikely to change just because I know one person better than another.

The site captures a main interest of mine, U2, it then has loads of other discussions about everything from relationship problems to what colour to paint your house to political debate to racism etc. It also had a sense of freedom about it in relation to all the different types of discussions and with Freedom of Speech being such a fundamental part of the free world I was impressed by that.

My paranoia had me doubting this but then it is removed when I read comments like those in here from Angela and Lara.

I try to get down my view in the appropriate forum and try, genuinely, not to break any rules.

Text is of course without feeling so sometimes a discussion should be detailed to clarify differences of opinion or clarify issues.

At the end of the day (the stars come out and it gets very very dark) we all have different views, ideas, interests and as long as they are not imposed or insulting to others I don't see why such freedom cannot remain.

 

[Sicy]

This site is very open-minded.. and for the most part, people are more than welcome to share their views, opinions, stories, etc. Hell, you can even swear here However, please dont assume that 'freedom of speech' means you can run wild and say or do whatever you want. It really doesnt apply here. This is an internet site, a privately owned one at that. If your 'freedom of speech' breaks the rules, we reserve the right to kick you out of here.

Just relax, enjoy yourself, make some friends and have a great time. Personally I have made some absolutely wonderful friends here, many whom I have grown to spend time with in real life. This place can be really amazing sometimes.

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

is your screen name about cologne?

 

[Mr. BAW]

Mr. BAW's favorite....

 

[U2SavesTheWorld]

 

[zoobeatle]

You seem O.K to me { goes and checks other threads to see if weve disagreed on anything]

 

[Liesje]

I agree with Sicy. I "lurked" on a daily basis for probably 8 months before becomming a member here. I also spent time in this other chat site whose members were also members here. I remember when I finally gave in - I was home sick for two weeks with all sorts of fun viral infections and was literally bored to tears so I finally signed up and started posting. But by then I'd already had the chance to feel things out so I knew the personalities of a lot of members, what each forum was for, and how the rules worked.

Sometimes things can get heated, in any forum really, not just FYM, but you gotta remember it's just a message board and the nature of the place is that everyone has the same amount of space to vent their views. I've had instances where I've read posts here and thought "did you grow up on Mars?" but then I meet the person later on and they are a really neat person. I've also had times where I read posts and think the poster is like my longlost twin, but then I meet the person "in real life" and find out I was WAY off.

My pieces of advice: don't judge a book by it's cover, keep an open mind, and remember why you're here (re: this is a U2 fan forum, not a soapbox or free advertising space, etc).

 

[CKONE]

I agree with Sicy. I "lurked" on a daily basis for probably 8 months before becomming a member here. I also spent time in this other chat site whose members were also members here. I remember when I finally gave in - I was home sick for two weeks with all sorts of fun viral infections and was literally bored to tears so I finally signed up and started posting. But by then I'd already had the chance to feel things out so I knew the personalities of a lot of members, what each forum was for, and how the rules worked.

Sometimes things can get heated, in any forum really, not just FYM, but you gotta remember it's just a message board and the nature of the place is that everyone has the same amount of space to vent their views. I've had instances where I've read posts here and thought "did you grow up on Mars?" but then I meet the person later on and they are a really neat person. I've also had times where I read posts and think the poster is like my longlost twin, but then I meet the person "in real life" and find out I was WAY off.

My pieces of advice: don't judge a book by it's cover, keep an open mind, and remember why you're here (re: this is a U2 fan forum, not a soapbox or free advertising space, etc).

I agree with many of the points you raise. Keyboard warriors is a phrase we use on a sport site for people who are bullish and intimidating when posting but when you meet them they are quite the opposite.

It may be simply that I dont fit in on this site because of my eagerness to question and debate all sorts of matters. Time will tell.

 

[CKONE]

is your screen name about cologne?

no it was a school nickname.

 

[Liesje]

It may be simply that I dont fit in on this site because of my eagerness to question and debate all sorts of matters. Time will tell.

Well, you'd fit in FYM as long as you can back up your debate/claims and don't say anything that's obviously intended to offend others.

As for the mod situation, if I were you, I'd just take some time to cool off. I don't think you're a terrible person, even for posting that link, but a rule is a rule right? The mods don't own this site, Elvis does, and until he changes the rules the mods are obligated (and much appreciated) to keep things running smoothly. With members that have been here for 6+ years and tens of thousands of members, they've got to be doing something right, don't you think?

I think some people get irked because we see this sort of thing every few months, it's not unique, and all it does is stirr shit - new member comes in, new member gets off on the wrong foot, mud starts slinging, etc, etc. The rules are the way they are because that's how it works in order to avoid chaos and maintain a place for healthy discussion, not because the mods are power-tripping dictators.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to criticize you or anything because you seem nice enough to me, just giving some pointers based on reading this site on a daily basis for the past several years.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Wait, you aren't supposed to say things that offend others in FYM?
and here I thought that was the whole point


on your post. Those were basically my thoughts, only way better thought out

 

[Liesje]

Wait, you aren't supposed to say things that offend others in FYM?
and here I thought that was the whole point

heh....yeah, that's relative, is it not?

 

[CKONE]

Well, you'd fit in FYM as long as you can back up your debate/claims and don't say anything that's obviously intended to offend others.

As for the mod situation, if I were you, I'd just take some time to cool off. I don't think you're a terrible person, even for posting that link, but a rule is a rule right? The mods don't own this site, Elvis does, and until he changes the rules the mods are obligated (and much appreciated) to keep things running smoothly. With members that have been here for 6+ years and tens of thousands of members, they've got to be doing something right, don't you think?

I think some people get irked because we see this sort of thing every few months, it's not unique, and all it does is stirr shit - new member comes in, new member gets off on the wrong foot, mud starts slinging, etc, etc. The rules are the way they are because that's how it works in order to avoid chaos and maintain a place for healthy discussion, not because the mods are power-tripping dictators.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to criticize you or anything because you seem nice enough to me, just giving some pointers based on reading this site on a daily basis for the past several years.

Its refreshing for someone to be happy to put a point across and I appreciate it. The situation with the mods is now forgotten as far as i am concerned. I had some discussion with them and I now entirely understand the way the board is run by them. Whether I agree or not is irrelevent as you say the boards have been here for a long time and one oik from England UNINTENTIONALLY rocking the boat wont make a jot of difference.

I will often challenge people in a debate type way rather than a confrontational way as I enjoy discussion and debate and how boring would it be if we all agreed or didnt at least look at things from other perspectives?

Rules........lets face it they are there to be broken.....just kidding

I read them, i questioned whether I broke them? I doubt I will avoid conflict with the rules ever again however I will be making a concerted effort to ensure I don't.

Anyway, lets see how things pan out. At least if i haven't posted for more than 2 weeks you will know I have received a virtual kick out of the door.

Cheers all the best.

 

[indra]

At least if i haven't posted for more than 2 weeks you will know I have received a virtual kick out of the door.

No no, if you get the boot you will be showcased in an Inside Broadcast thread for all to see and snicker at. It's a delightful thread.

 

[CKONE]

No no, if you get the boot you will be showcased in an Inside Broadcast thread for all to see and snicker at. It's a delightful thread.

I hope to avoid such a public kicking!