how easy is it being confortable in your skin

[marik]

we've all heard the expression, but i was wondering on an indivdual level, how hard/easy is it for most people? i know everyone has there own insecurities, but how easy/hard is it to deal with these? is it something you never really think about? a daily effort? is it a common thought to think 'i wonder what these others will think of me' when i....do my hair this way....wear that to a party.....wear that shirt....say that thing....etc.
is it a common thought to look at someone and look up to them in way of thinking to yourself, 'i wish i was more like that' about some quality of them. if so, do you keep this admiration private, or would you admit to it?
do most keep your insecurites to yourself and never share them, or are maybe only share with your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend? or share wioth everyone that would listen?
if you do have these feelings, how do you look at them. as something that everyone has, and it's normal, or do you look at them as something you hope to rid yourself of them someday?

 

[discothequeLP]

for me, yeah, whenever i go anywhere, especially when it's with people i know, i get a little bit worried as to how they react to what i'm wearing/looking or whatever, but i've learned to get over it with a 'who cares' attitude. ironically, it's easier for me to be with strangers, people i haven't met before, probably because i've changed so much over the past couple years, and i'm a bit embarrased of how i used to be . as for insercurites and all that, i get a self-conscious about sharing them, but then i realize that i myself am open to the insecurities of others, so they will probably be open with me, too.

 

[For Honor]

Different people will have different levels of awareness, consciousness, and concern. Everyone is different on an individual basis.

Personally.... I am noticing either a balance or a contradiction, between caring and comparing what others think, and not caring and relying upon yourself, your own internal judgements and such.

I don't think it is wise to disregard everyone aroud you, for even the most isolated and secular of people needs to know what is going on in the world around them. But at the same time... there is only so much outside of yourself.

People come to confidence in their own way, and place different values on confidence.

 

[Palace_Hero]

I find it difficult. As someone who struggled with acne for years, before it reached a terrible climax this time last year, I've struggled being comfortable in my skin in the literal way. Even now, with it totally gone and the scarring becoming barely noticeable, I find it hard to have faith in my self asthetically. I think I'm less good looking than others do if that makes sense.

Its difficult and something I'm slowly trying to overcome. Image I think is quite important. I don't mean to sound shallow but it is something we are all judged by and I hypocritically do it to.

 

[For Honor]

That's right...... I completely forgot about that aspect; acne.


I've had a bad case of it for a long long time, and just this last year has it actually died down. I tried everything, and saw a dermitologist. I was scared, mentally, for years, because I thought everytime a girl looked at me it was because of my face, and that it was disgusting. I sincerely thought it foolish think that a girl could actually "like" me, so my HS years were definitely affected. Especially freshman year... that was probably the worst.

I used to hate pictures, especially my school pictures...

==============


I don't know...... honestly, I do have a lot of initial criticisms of people, but I work on trying to restrain those things. But at the same time, I know that I've overcome things, so I know other people can do the same.

That wasn't a shallow post, though. It was good to look at things from that angle...

 

[Liesje]

is it a common thought to look at someone and look up to them in way of thinking to yourself, 'i wish i was more like that' about some quality of them. if so, do you keep this admiration private, or would you admit to it?
do most keep your insecurites to yourself and never share them, or are maybe only share with your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend? or share wioth everyone that would listen?
if you do have these feelings, how do you look at them. as something that everyone has, and it's normal, or do you look at them as something you hope to rid yourself of them someday?

My boyfriend knows how I feel about myself. I'd love to chance bodies w/ Kirsten Dunst, hehe. I feel gross and out of shape a lot of the time. I know I look fine, but I also know what it used to look like/feel like and I miss that. 5 years and 20 pounds ago I was doing gymnastics everyday, had a flat stomach w/ a sick pack, and didn't get tired walking from one class to the next. I don't think I can ever get back to that point, there's just not enough time in each day.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Never have been, never will be

I share my insecurities w/ some people, I think it's important that people do that. Sometimes I regret doing so, but that's life. That's how I can tell if I want someone in my life or not, by the way they respond. However I don't think it's healthy to do it too much.

I guess I don't trust or like people who don't have insecurities.

 

[Diemen]

The more time goes by, the more comfortable I get in my own skin. Sure there are things I'd like to change, but I'm me and I will be me for the rest of my life. Might as well get used to it.

 

[U2democrat]

The more time goes by, the more comfortable I get in my own skin. Sure there are things I'd like to change, but I'm me and I will be me for the rest of my life. Might as well get used to it.

That's how I feel

I've become MUCH more comfortable with myself since I've been in college.

 

[UberBeaver]

I'm comfortable. I am who I am, flaws and all, and they ain't much I can do about it, so....yeah.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

It's taken a long time but I'm definitely getting there.

 

[youtooellen]

well, I guess I'm pretty insecure, but I can't blame myself. I don't seem to put in the effort (mentally and physically) to try to fix the insecurities. so, what I have is what I have. insecurities and all. sometimes I feel like I'm alright with myself, but I just think too much into it.... making me feel insecure.

but I really admire those who are comfortable with themselves or are getting there it's so hard to be able to do that

 

[Lemonchick]

Not easy at all....I'm working on it but it's really hard.

I have A LOT of insecurities...and I did share them with one person...but they just ended up taking advantage of them...



I always admire people when they're so comfortable in their own skin...it makes me wanna work harder.

 

[AvsGirl41]

I used to be.

And then...I don't know what happened. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm not pretty/thin/smart/whatever enough, for myself or for anyone else.

It seems like the minute I gain an inch of confidence, something knocks it out from under me.

 

[UberBeaver]

We are our insecurities.

 

[Liesje]

We are our insecurities.

I guess that makes me fat, ugly, and stupid!

 

[For Honor]

We are also what we choose to do with our insecurities...

 

[MsGiggles]

I'm completely comfortable in my skin....but it took 35 years to get here

 

[VertigoGal]

I have insecurities, but they don't seem to bother me when I'm hanging out with friends or whatever. It's just at moments when I'm alone and exposed to a bunch of people I don't know, I start doubting myself and everything...mostly I feel like my face is ugly, that's the main thing.

 

[zumanity42]

it's a struggle sometimes, but defintely worth it. nobody is perfect, but everybody wants to be...

it helps to give yourself permission to fail...as long as you try your best.

 

[For Honor]

"the only imperfection is to earnestly seek "perfection" "

I've heard that said once...

 

[girlhappy]

I dont know, seems to me whwn iwas 16 i was more confident then nowq, in early 30s. How strange is that?

 

[girlhappy]

Yea, people used to tell me how things will change and everything. But they are more and more insecure, things, people, life. I dont have a home (house doesnt make a home) boyfriend, not even stable circle of friends.First of all i still dont have a job. So tell me, how can i be confident in my owy skin? I feel like Bono in Stuck inthe moment video.Just....i dont have a hand to pick me up in the end

 

[lady luck]

^ maybe you don't have to look for a hand, but for something other!

*****

I'm ok in my skin.
But I am better in my shoes

(apart for today, because I am wearing high heels and my feet are starting to make a protest...)

 

[For Honor]

......there is a fear of what I will be like when I'm older. I hope I am not someone who is closeminded and grumpy and uhappy...


But..... my examples around me are as follows:

Mom is on medication for dealing with her medical condition, and lives a very quiet life
Dad is reeling form issues from his childhood, and is somewhat depressed, and having major relationship problems, whilst his life is somewhat on hold, and he's living in a small world where he can only deal with what is immediately around him, and has no time for anything else
My stepmother is taking anti-depressants, and is doing the best out of them all, as she's the most capable of maintaining a life that she personally would find successful.

So.... I don't know many older people (as in, older than me, perhaps middle aged), who are actually enjoying themselves. But that's just me, personally, with those immediately around me. I guess if I look deeper into my family, I can find some who are feeling better and what not...... hmm.... yes, that is true.

But even my neighbors are... sort of on the edge, it seems.


As far as I go.... I really hope that I can build upon the foundation I'm making for myself, and that my parents and such have laid for me in my early days. But I am wary.........