How can I help a friend with a fear of flying?

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AchtungBono

Refugee
Joined
Jul 18, 2001
Messages
1,300
Location
Tel-Aviv, Israel
Hi guys,

I'd like to ask your advice.

I'm about to go on vacation with a friend down to the southern resort city of Eilat.

The drive down from Tel-Aviv takes about 4-5 hours and a flight takes only one hour.

We're going down for the weekend only so 4 hours is a lot of wasted time on the road. I really want to fly down but he has a terrible fear of flying.

Last time we went on vacation we went down for a week so 4 hours on the road wasn't so bad, but this time we only have 48 hours so each hour counts.

Anyway, I've promised that I'll keep him distracted on the flight and try to make it as pleasant as possible. How do you propose I do this? Do you know of any games we can play or any other activity that will take his mind off the fact that he's 10,000 feet in the air?

Also, because we have a return flight on Saturday night, he says that he'll be spending all Saturday in dreaded anticipation and it might ruin his weekend.

So that's my problem.......how can I help him?

Your advice is GREATLY appreciated.

XXX
 
I love flying, and always kind of have - so I'm not sure how to make someone with a fear tolerate it.

I quite like playing little drawing games on plane trips. You know, when you draw a "monster's" head, fold the paper, give it to a pal who then draws the next bit, and repeat until the whole pic is done, where you can have a peek and laugh at how ridiculous it is. Really, that's the only game I can remember playing since I was on a plane last.

Make him bite the bullet if possible, to look out the window if possible, see how completely rad the Earth looks from the sky. Exposure builds confidence.

If there's any turbulence - tell him not to worry, that basically every plane trip has turbulence of some variety, and that 99.9+% get to their destination without a hassle.

Make sure he chills with a drink along the way. Anything - water, tea, beer, cola - whatever. Sipping and enjoying something makes the time pass faster. Same with reading the paper picked up in the airport.

If he gets anxious, give him a hug.

That's basically all I know, and it's all pretty obvious I guess - but hey, works for me.
 
I moved this to Zoo Confessionals because even though it's not a confession, this forum is also used for dispensing more serious advice. I thought it might fare a little better here. If you want me to move it back to LS though, just say so.

I hate being on airplanes. :( I really don't have much great advice, as I'm not the best at coping with it. An hour isn't terrible though, and I think that just you being there with him will be a big help.
 
Suggest that your friend read while he's on the plane. While I do love to fly I find that reading makes the time pass by really fast. Or he could occupy himself with music to help drown out everything around him.

When you have turburlence just reassure him that everything is ok with a hug. Hope the 1 hour flight goes ok for your friend :hug:
 
since landing and takeoff are probably the most stressful things, and electronics and such have to be stowed during these times, i would suggest your friend use earplugs. and perhaps take some stress-easing homeopathy pills right before the flight. that should ease some of the anxiety.

these sort are quite comfortable and can eliminate most of the sound

ear_plugs.jpg
 
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^ earplugs are a great suggestion. And they do work. Earplugs and an eyemask (the kind you use for sleeping) are fantastic tools. I am not a good flyier and have much anxiety myself. During the take off try to distract your friend. Keep his mind focused on you. Talk with him about something that will make him think about anything but where you're actually at. When I'm flying with friends, I keep focused on them and see how calm they are and that helps me cope with my anxieties.

Any of the travel games are great, scrabble or even a deck of cards.
 
That's good that the flight is only an hour - it will be short and hopefully easy for your friend to manage.

Like the others have said, just being there and distracting him will be very helpful. It might be best to make sure he doesn't have a window seat. Actually seeing the plane take off can be quite frightening for some people.

I'm terrified of flying and get extreme anxiety attacks, so I take prescription medication to help me through that. I normally go on flights that are at least 6 hours, so the medication works perfectly for that. Any shorter of a flight and I would probably still be asleep or very groggy when we landed.

It's great that you're concerned and want to help your friend through this. Hopefully it will go smoothly.
 
BonosBaby12 said:
Suggest that your friend read while he's on the plane. While I do love to fly I find that reading makes the time pass by really fast. Or he could occupy himself with music to help drown out everything around him.

When you have turburlence just reassure him that everything is ok with a hug. Hope the 1 hour flight goes ok for your friend :hug:

yeah, i'm sure the grown man will feel a lot better getting hugged by his mate in the midst of turbulence.

seriously though, i just read an article somewhere on the bbc site that said there have never been more flights and fewer accidents than at the moment.

i have a fear of flying too, except it's a bit different than in most cases. i have an extremely hard time with the pressure on descent, and sometimes on ascent as well. supposed to take three flights to get back to canada for a two week holiday in february, and i'm sort of dreading it. that's 6 up-and-downs.

but even though i generally feel safe on flights, something about it feels incredibly unnatural. everything feels like it's hanging by a thread. it's not a pleasant experience, but like anything, it's all a state of mind. it's how he approaches it in his mind, that makes the difference. besides, worrying about things of this nature won't make a difference as nothing he does or doesn't do will make a difference whether the flight goes smoothly or not.

good luck.
 
I don't know what extra advice i can add, especially given i love flying and when i travelled recently i was grinning like an idiot in turbulence.

However i'm shitscared of stuff like rollercoasters - won't go near them.

My best advice is after landing or at a later stage in the flight is ask if your friend can have a look in the cockpit and meet the pilots once the flight is finished. Perhaps seeing what it's like up front and seeing the people who fly planes for a living may help relax him on future flights. Knowledge is power, eg try and explain all of the whirring noises and other mechanical noises.

But definitely use distraction.

My advice may not be as useful, because i know the Air New Zealand is usually pretty good with letting people say hello to the pilots and see the cockpit once the flight is over, however it is probably quite different in Israel (and, of course, the rest of the world).
 
the only bad thing about it being a short flight is that it will be a small plane and those things always never seem to feel as safe as the bigger planes, but just distract him and give him those anti stressing pills
*a*
 
Zoomerang96 said:


yeah, i'm sure the grown man will feel a lot better getting hugged by his mate in the midst of turbulence.


You know I could be a real smartass and say something here but I choose not to. Would appreciate next time if you kept your smart remarks to yourself. Oh and to defend my statement,though I really shouldn't have to,I was not talking about a full fledge hug. Any kind of touch during a stressful or scary moment can help no matter if it's a male or female.
 
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BonosBaby12 said:


You know I could be a real smartass and say something here but I choose not to. Would appreciate next time if you kept your smart remarks to yourself. Oh and to defend my statement,though I really shouldn't have to,I was not talking about a full fledge hug. Any kind of touch during a stressful or scary moment can help no matter if it's a male or female.

:hug: :hug:


:hug:


:hug:
 
Zoomerang96 said:


yeah, i'm sure the grown man will feel a lot better getting hugged by his mate in the midst of turbulence.

Let's just say that from experience it CAN help, a great deal actually. Hugs can do more than you think.


AchtungBono, I've also flown a few times with a friend of mine who is absolutely terrified of flying (I'm not too fond it of it myself either, but I'm usually okay when flying). I suggest some valium, even though a lot of people aren't too fond of tranquilizers, they help a lot, making the process before the flying less frightful, and the actually flying as well. Other than that, just keep your friend distracted, talk about random stuff, or maybe listening to some music can help as well. The suggestion unico did is very good as well, the earplugs can take the pressure off of the ears and hearing less noise from the plane and people makes persons more relaxed as well (helps with me). Good luck :hug:
 
are you a girl?

GUYS AREN'T GIRLS. wow.

we don't respond the same way.
if my girlfriend was terrified of flying, of course i'd do whatever i could to calm her, including giving her a hug or anything else that'd help.

but i can safely speak for the large majority of males who'd sooner tell their mate to piss off if they tried to hug me during a panic attack/highly nerve racking moment.

for girls, fine. but i'm under the impression that we're talking about two men here.
 
Zoomerang96 said:
are you a girl?

GUYS AREN'T GIRLS. wow.

we don't respond the same way.
if my girlfriend was terrified of flying, of course i'd do whatever i could to calm her, including giving her a hug or anything else that'd help.

but i can safely speak for the large majority of males who'd sooner tell their mate to piss off if they tried to hug me during a panic attack/highly nerve racking moment.

for girls, fine. but i'm under the impression that we're talking about two men here.

I'm a girl, yes. And I'm quite sure AchtungBono is a girl as well.

I'm very well aware of the fact that guys aren't girls. Also have to tell you that I've been in several situations in airplanes when guys needed a hug because they were afraid of flying (frankly, they've accepted them too, and weren't at all embarassed or feeling awkward about it). All I'm saying is, when a person (male/female) has a real fear of flying, it doesn't matter if you give them a hug. They'll respond in the same way, trust me.
 
I loved it :drool:
Went by pretty fast too, my bro and I were like ''is that it?'' :angry:
Looking forward to doing it again :hyper:


Just give yourself a distraction during take off and landing and you'll be fine. The rest is smooth.
 
JanuaryStar said:


I'm a girl, yes. And I'm quite sure AchtungBono is a girl as well.

I'm very well aware of the fact that guys aren't girls. Also have to tell you that I've been in several situations in airplanes when guys needed a hug because they were afraid of flying (frankly, they've accepted them too, and weren't at all embarassed or feeling awkward about it). All I'm saying is, when a person (male/female) has a real fear of flying, it doesn't matter if you give them a hug. They'll respond in the same way, trust me.

oh bugger

achtung's a woman?

well then, i stand corrected. i was under the impression we were talking about two men.

very well. i do believe my point still has validity within its intended context, however.
 
Zoomerang96 said:



very well. i do believe my point still has validity within its intended context, however.

As a special service just for you, I have looked up your reservation in February and have placed a request that you get a hourly hug from the male flight attendant of your choice! If there are no male flight attendants, the co-pilot will leave the flight deck and give you some big wet kisses!

ENJOY! :up:

Anytime I can help you in the future with your special needs, just send me a PM.
 
zonelistener said:


As a special service just for you, I have looked up your reservation in February and have placed a request that you get a hourly hug from the male flight attendant of your choice! If there are no male flight attendants, the co-pilot will leave the flight deck and give you some big wet kisses!

ENJOY! :up:

Anytime I can help you in the future with your special needs, just send me a PM.

it sounds like someone knows how to push all my right buttons.

thanks zone... anytime i can be of service to you, whether it be a facemouthkiss, or anything, let me know. i'm in your debt.
 

so how did things turn out??!!??

Sez the woman who's had 10 - 15 yrs between flying b/c she gets FREAKED out too much!

i happend to have meds THIS time (2007) and THEY helped keep my anxiety from over-boiling to a ridculous point of total uncomfortabilty! the vacation was gift, couldn't afford it otherwise.

Zoom you need to get out more often......some men would have no trouble being hugged in a situation like that...........:rolleyes: not just talking gay men either.........

oh and the TV in front of the back of the seat in front of me was a BLESSING!!!!!

If i get some big money I WILL fly again ASAP- meds in tow.:wink:
 
I have a pretty bad fear of flying, too. I haven't been on a plane in about five years. It's gotten to the point that I try to take trains or drive places when I can. For a long time I used to use the expense of flying as an excuse, but now that I'm out of school and have a pretty good job, that's not as easy anymore. I'm hoping to be put in a situation this year where I absolutely have to fly again, because I know the more time that passes, the harder it will be for me to get back on a plane. I also think it's time for me to get meds, because my anxiety before, during, and right after flying is awful.
 
Tips from my latest plane trips

I've taken four flights in the last year (the last one was this week). Here's some of my tips for coping with flying:

Bring an iPod. They're great to have on a plane trip, especially if they're video iPods. But only use iPods on a plane when they say it's safe to use electronic devices!

Bring a new copy of your favorite magazine to read. I always take the latest issue of People Magazine with me on a plane ride -- it's easy reading to keep my mind off the flight and keep me from getting bored. (And unlike a book, it's no big deal to carry on or lose a magazine.)

Chew gum during takeoffs and landings. It will help equalize the pressure changes in your ears.

Think of turbulence -- and there will be some turbulence -- as bumps in the road.

Bon voyage! :wave:
 
Re: Tips from my latest plane trips

jobob said:

But only use iPods on a plane when they say it's safe to use electronic devices!

If for no reason other than to avoid being told off by the flight attendants. I have personal experience that knows that a mobile phone left on in a plane doesn't do anything.
 
coolian2 said:


If for no reason other than to avoid being told off by the flight attendants. I have personal experience that knows that a mobile phone left on in a plane doesn't do anything.

Two points:

The cell phone is not going to interfere with the flight deck...most of them will be far away from any signal, so, it will most likely just drain the power from your battery looking for a signal. I know quite a few pilots that leave their phones on.

Now, if you have a Blackberry....THAT could cause some issues. Blackberrys cause issues radios and phones at home...imagine what it does to a pilot trying to get instructions from Air Traffic Control.

I flew up to Minneapolis today for lunch with a friend. On the way back, one of the flight attendants sat in the back row for a few minutes (right behind me) and listened to her iPod...this was AFTER she went through the cabin making sure everyone else had their electronics off. :angry:
 
I think flying is safer than driving with these damn maniacs on the road these days.

Plus the absence of traffic lights and speed limits make the experience much more enjoyable.

And turbulence is actually something you can learn to enjoy..except the fact it can give you an upset stomach if you are concentrating on flight maneauvers at the same time. Apart from that, it's like driving on a bumpy road or riding the waves on a boat.

Really, movies and the news media make flying seem so risky and dangerous....(which is true if the pilot has no idea what he is doing.)
 
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