Here's a fun one

[Got Philk?]

My best friend and roommate is dating my X-girlfriend whom I dated for 3 years before breaking up last year. The break up was not a great one and some hard feelings were taken on both sides. Needless to say, seeing her and hearing her name and her voice (not to mention getting kicked out of our room so they can sleep in the same bed) is not something I was hoping for at all.

So basically this relationship bothers me b/c it is her, but even more because my best friend chose her over me, things have changed b/c of their relationship between him and I, and though we talked about how uncomfortable this would make things between us, he never cared and continued to seemingly ignore my pleas to keep her away from me and my girlfriend of now. Not to mention my girlfriend and her have a little tension b/c of the fact that they lived on the same dorm floor as I dated them at different times during the year... It's just really an awkward situation.

Anyway, I've had a lot of different viewpoints come at me. Some would say, "Why should it matter to you?" and others, "Gosh, who would do such a thing?" I'm interested in your thoughts on the situation? Do I have a right to be upset with my best friend turned friend? Or should I get over it... Feel free to ask questions as I am feeling quite a.d.d. tonight.

Key Point: May it be known I am dating the most wonderful woman in the world, LivLuvandBoolegMusic or Lies, and could not ask for more in a girlfriend.

 

[Liesje]

*gasp* oh my gosh, did I just post that?

how's THAT for closure?

 

[beli]

Umm yeah. My ugly breakup story was similar. My exboyfriend was actually a friend of my best friend (male). My ex immediately started dating one of my closest friends. Yuck all round. Fortunately I wasnt living with any of them at the time.

I basically started hanging with a different crowd and met my future husband there.

I dont know how you solve this one. Can you ask your roommate to not bring her into your shared room?

 

[Got Philk?]

A couple things. Interestingly I had the exact situation! He went right after her when we first broke up, but quit when I was really pissed then. He apologized and things were kind of ok between us, but now he's been at it again.
Also, I made a stink in my house of 6 guys and he's moving out of our room later this month. WOOHOO!!! So some things are being taken care of. But this was my best friend and now we can't even live together!

 

[beli]

Oh, thats sort of good. I understand how it hurts that the friendship is damaged. Sometimes I think you just need to cut ties and do whats best for your own sanity.

There are too many nice people on this planet to waste time with people who knife you in the back. IMHO. Feel free to ignore my advice.

 

[Mr. BAW]

You're right on two counts - 6 guys in a house is a stink and the fact that he's moving within the month will make things easier;;;just place your ex-friend on the "I knew you when" list!

As far as your ex is concerned, ffft! she means nothing in this equation as long as you have Livluvandbootlegmusic...

best wishes!

Mr. BAW

 

[beli]

I miss read your original post. I didnt know you were dating LivLuv.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I dont think you can change much on how you feel. Emotion is an automatic thing, just keep an eye on your current relationship with Liv and nurture that one. That said, it still sucks that this could be destroying your friendship with your mate and it seems there is little you can do to stop it happening. You can try and be as supportive as you can, but he has to meet you halfway and respect your history with this girl as well.
Good luck with it, Philk.

 

[Doozer61]

something similar happened with me. the ex and i broke up as a result of something that barbara was involved with, in addition to other factors. then she wanted nothing to do with barbara for a year, while i was maintaining a friendship with barbara. i was confiding in her, etc. then, all of a sudden the ex and barbara are together! WTF? so i lost my ex and my friend... but thats okay because now I have sweetwolf in my life.

and i admit, it is awkward when the four of us happen to be together. we went to a formal dinner about a month ago and all had to sit together at the same table. and we all attend the same church and have friends in common. so there is no getting away from it.

good luck, Philk! I know how it is...

 

[Got Philk?]

I think it's tough for me because I don't want to care. I don't like this woman anymore. In fact, I think about our time together and wonder how we lasted so long in the first place. So I sometimes struggle with why I should care. I think I figured it out a little though in that it's not her, it's him and it's the fact that my best friend chose her over me knowing it would effect our relationship. And he didn't care. Then he shows no consideration to anyone but him and his hormones by bringing her over to the house and kicking me out of our room. But still, in a perfect world I'd be able to watch a movie with these 2 in our living room. That will never happen.

p.s. I have told all of this to him so i'm not talking bad about him behind his back. He's very well aware of what he has done.

 

[wolfeden]

ugh. i hear ya.
Hope it smooths out for you... that's a vile situation to be in all 'round. I've got similar going on with someone I've been friends with for about 12 years now, and the new girlfriend knows i don't like her from WAY before she and my friend ever got involved.... blaaaaaahhhhhh why is this stuff ALWAYS LIKE THIS

 

[Mullen-Girl]

Good luck philk. I agree with Mr. Baw

 

[MrBrau1]

Not a real friend in the first place, and this is proof. Tell him to f-off.

 

[fah]

He sounds like an ex-best friend to me.

 

[BluRmGrl]

Like they say, "The heart wants what the heart wants"....what a load of crap! Sounds more like a case of "The d*ck wants what the d*ck wants".

All around bad situation, Philk...maybe when it's all over, your buddy will come to understand why you broke up with the girl & then you can patch up your friendship over some beers & "What the hell were we thinking?" stories. My best to you & LivLuv.