Help Me Win Back My Ex-GF

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My loyalty question was refering to something else...

do you still feel loyal to this person, despite the break up?



if that doesn't register, then don't worry about it.

I suppose I don't have too much more to say. You can handle this on your own.


May your decisions lead you to the best outcome for both parties
 
discothequeLP said:

I want to either be her boyfriend or never talk to her again.

You're heading straight for the second option with all this calling back/not calling back because it's too soon bullshit.

Jesus, go get her or let her go.

Call her up, ask her out on a real date. If she says no, go away. If she says yes, treat her like someone you actually want to be with. But all these fucking head games aren't doing either of you any good at all. If you don't like her games (and she's playing them as well as you), then what the hell are you pursuing her for?
 
well guys, here's an update. i did what xtal suggested -- i talked to her once in a while, but not very often, didn't answer some phone calls, didn't answer any text messages, all of that shit. for the past couple weeks, my friend (her bf) has been acting like a total asshole to me. . . then i found out today that they broke up. but since a couple months ago i've realized that now i don't care for her as much as i am (was) jealous of my friend. i don't really mind being her friend, either, but i still don't know if that's all i want. i guess i'll have to think this one through :|
 
UNfortunately, it's not always about you, or what you want

the real question will be, does she want you?


I am reminded of meatloaf

"will ya love me?
will ya love me forever
will ya need me?
will ya need me forever..."

etc

:laugh: :laugh:

But I'm serious about it, actually.

NOthing is more beautiful than two people who want to be together.

Few things are more disgusting that one who does and one who does not.


That's how it is in my book :|
 
It's a hard question, because sometimes you care about the other person in such a way where it doesn't matter....

but in all reality, it does matter, and I think it matters the most out of anything else.

Well, when it comes to anything long term, I guess..
 
Well, that's good. But really, look at your answer.......

You fear for her. Maybe it doesn't matter, but it seems like you just want to protect her, from that answer (which is very brief, but, is it reavealing?? I don't know)

Do you want to be with her?
Is she someone you'd consider marring (theoreticallly)


I know someone, feel the same way about her. Like her, she's hot, cute, sexy, flity, fun, all that. But I can't be with her in a relationship, because we're just not really right for each other, and/or time + circumstance has lead us in different directions.


But hell, I know it's hard when you care about someone.......
I know....


all I can really say is good luck, man :up:
 
discothequeLP said:
i do care about her.
Actions speak louder than words. Your actions, ignoring her, not responding to her, may tell her the opposite.




discothequeLP said:

i don't want her to end up with an asshole like her father. but i don't know how to do that.

If you don't like her as much as you thought you did, are you the one that can help her in that respect, or will you just be another guy she dates who doesn't like her enough to treat her right?
 
martha said:

If you don't like her as much as you thought you did, are you the one that can help her in that respect, or will you just be another guy she dates who doesn't like her enough to treat her right?



her mother was 19 when she was born. that's what i want to keep her from. and i tried being a great, great guy, answering all her calls and giving her all of my attention, and that obvoiusly didn't work.
 
Hi,

I stumbled across this thread yesterday and I read the whole thing from start to finish. I've been in a somewhat similar situation for quite some time now and it was nicely cathartic to find that I wasn't alone in this type of experience.

What I have learned and will try to share with you is that the key to anyone's heart is to respect them, to communicate well with them and to enjoy their company. Really though, the word key is wrong because it makes it sound like if you do those things...you'll "unlock" the other person but that isn't necessarily the case. The other person has to factor into it and as someone else said...its terrible to want to love someone and have them unable to respond for whatever reason.

I would suggest that you talk to the woman and really find out where she is at and explaining yourself without being too over the top. Then depending on her response you go from there. If space is what she needs then give it to her. She has to be able to answer her own questions about you, herself, her other relationship, etc. If you are a nice guy like me, that may mean that you make the mistake of trying to answer the questions for her and thus push her away despite your good intentions. I would say talk to her when she calls, make sure to have a good time with her when you guys hang out but leave it at that. Don't be calling her or doing anything spectacular for her to try and pursue her love or anything like that. Then hope and pray she comes around if thats what she decides she wants.

I'm a nice guy who has been burned too many times by making all the nice guy "mistakes." I still make too many of them. I'm by no means a success but I think I might finally be starting to get closer.
 
discothequeLP said:

her mother was 19 when she was born. that's what i want to keep her from.

Why are you the man who can keep her from early pregnancy?


discothequeLP said:
and i tried being a great, great guy, answering all her calls and giving her all of my attention, and that obvoiusly didn't work.

You said you think you don't like her as much as you thought you did. Hmm, being a "great guy" didn't work, now not responding to her didn't work. Isn't it time to leave her alone? Hasn't she let you know that she's not ready for what you think you can give her?
 
martha said:

You said you think you don't like her as much as you thought you did. Hmm, being a "great guy" didn't work, now not responding to her didn't work. Isn't it time to leave her alone? Hasn't she let you know that she's not ready for what you think you can give her?



doesn't not responding to her = leaving her alone? :eyebrow:
 
discothequeLP said:




doesn't not responding to her = leaving her alone? :eyebrow:

No. Not responding is trying to get the upper hand, trying to control things.

Leaving her alone is leaving her alone; not trying to save her from anyone or anything; deciding that since you don't like her, you should stop trying to win her back; not playing weird games about responding to her.
 
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