Hard news about a friend to keep secret.

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FitzChivalry

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I found out some really bad news about a friend today that for obvious reasons they want to keep secret. I'm the only one besides them that knows so far.

I feel so, so horrible for my friend. I've been on the verge of tears all day, and I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I promised I wouldn't say a word. (I don't think this post really counts as breaking my promise. :) )

I know this is not about me; it's not about me at all. And yet, my heart hurts too.

As a result, I'm ducking our friends-in-common calls because I don't want to be around them because I know that they are going to ask me about this situation, therefore testing my resolve and the confidence my friend entrusted me with.

Ugh.

Life hurts so much sometimes. And again, I know this isn't about me. I can't even imagine what my friend must be going through.

:sad:
 
You alright Fitz? Whatever it is that's making you feel that bad, I can't imagine how it is for your friend.
 
Maybe it's good your friend entrusted you enough to share their secret? I know sometimes taking on other people's baggage can be too much. Be honest though and if you feel you can't handle it then tell your friend. It's not worth the stress you'll be putting yourself through, and is it worth the friendship? Some things to really think about. Good luck. :hug:
 
Sometimes it is worse when it is happening to a friend than when it happens to yourself. Good luck to both you and your friend.
 
:(

I'm sorry to hear this, Fitz. :hug:


I thnk Carek may have a point....at some time IF you feel it's too much for you....then ask maybe for them to tell another person you have some contact with- that you feel comfortable with.
That way perhaps then the 2 of you ( & this other person) can be there for each other as to staying stroungh for your mutual friend's suffering.


:hug:S for your friend, too.
 
Thanks everyone.

And as much as I would like for my friend to tell one of our friends-in-common so it can be a little bit more out in the open, the matter is really highly personal, and truly the type of thing that only the individual themselves can decide when is the appropriate time to divulge and to whom.

In the meantime, since I'm still the only one that knows, I'm just trying to be there for my friend and be the best possible friend I can be in their time of need. And so far, from the feedback I've received from my friend, my efforts are highly appreciated. So I am helping, and in the end I guess that's all that really matters.
 
So I haven't been on Interference (or the computer) for around a week b/c I've been at the hospital with my friend.

Yeah, things took a turn for the worse and the specialist I took them to on Monday took one look at my friend and said you're going in the hospital!

My friend isn't really close to their family. They have an Uncle and a Grandma that they're kind of close to, but more on holidays kind of thing.

So I've pretty much been at the hospital all day, every day, weathering the bad news that keeps on coming with them. Today I was there for 10 hours and really did nothing but sit around and keep them company . . . and the funny thing is I feel exhausted right now, even though all I've done is pretty much sit all day. :lol:

But with no real family in their daily life, and since I have the time right now, I feel like I should be there for them as much as I can. And I know my friend appreciates it, and all my friend's friends appreciate it as well.

It just sucks. My friend is 31. I'm 34. And we're both just waaaay too young to be facing drastic health issues like this.

:(

On a side-note, who knew that a week away from the computer would feel like a LIFETIME!
 
Today I was there for 10 hours and really did nothing but sit around and keep them company . . . and the funny thing is I feel exhausted right now, even though all I've done is pretty much sit all day. :lol:

This kind of thing takes its toll on one, mind, body & soul. It's a lot to process. Is there any good news? Is there hope s/he will come out of this?

:hug:
 
Thanks all. :)

And BB12, congratulations on your wedding. I'm so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. Many, many, many happy & healthy years together for you and your hubby. :hug: :wink:

You are very welcome :hug: :). And awwww thank you so much :hug: :hug: :hug: You are a very sweet guy Fitz! :love:

Really what you are doing for your friend is so great. Can remember spending hours in the hospital with my dad. Know it meant a lot to him to have those who he was familiar with around during the really bad times. Even if you are not able to physically do anything it brings a great deal of comfort to have someone around who really cares :hug:
 
Well, I brought my friend home from the hospital last night. (He doesn't drive.)

Both he and I are not very emotional, sentimental type . . . most likely to a fault. He never cries in front of other people, and most of the time I find it difficult to cry, even though I may feel like crying.

He had to have some of his fingertips removed, luckily no bone, but he did lose some fingernails which will hopefully grow back.

Anyway, on the way home, I was driving and paying attention to the road ahead and he said, "I'm so lucky . . .", and then he just trailed off. I thought he was going to say I'm so lucky I didn't lose all my fingers. When I looked over he was crying and I said, "What's wrong?" He was crying and sobbed, "I'm just so lucky to have a friend like you."

If I was a normal person, capable of normal expression that would've been the point where I burst into tears. But, since I'm known among my friends as "the robot", I just welled up inside and thought it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said about me.

I'm glad he's back at his home. He'll be on disability for a month and have to be on anti-biotics and home nurse care for a couple more weeks.

Anyway, I guess under the circumstances of what could have happened, what did happen was the best case scenario.

Just thought I'd share.

Thanks for listening/reading.

:)
 
Just got home from spending the last week and a half at my friend's place.

We got really bad news last week . . . it just keeps getting worse and worse.

I guess I should just say it: AIDS.

Not even HIV, it's AIDS now according to the doctor and his low CD4 cell count. So my friend jumped on it and started the meds. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully they will help get his CD4 cell count up and his viral load down.

But I've been looking online and I see that life expectancy is about 6+ years after being designated AIDS with a low CD4 count.

God, he's been walking around with this for who knows how long, and if he'd known about it earlier, his life expectancy would be MUCH higher.

I can't even grasp that he could be gone from my life before we're even 40. I feel so bad. Especially since he still thinks the life expectancy is 20 - 30 years like the first doctor told him, but that's for someone who catches it early and gets on the meds then.

Fuck! I'm so sad.

He's told me so many times over the past week how just having me at his place has made him feel so much better and how he's scared of being alone now. He told me even when we're just sitting there, doing nothing, not talking, he feels so much better that I was there with him.

And I just want to grab him in my arms and hold him and protect him and make it all better and make it all go away and I can't . . . I'm completely useless and that fucking virus is going to win and I hate it! I absolutely hate it.

And my heart is absolutely breaking.

Sorry to bum you guys out. Sorry.
 
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