guilt problem, help!

[verte76]

prayers please

I'm having a terrible time with some depression right now. I feel like I've outgrown my Renaissance Faire group. There are some things I like about the group, but there's one thing I really hate, and that's the jockeying for position and status, which is really artificial, self-absorbed stuff. It's so silly. I feel really guilty about this. This is not an easy change for me to go through. I feel terrible right now. Could you please pray for me?

 

[Sherry Darling]

You've got the prayers! I don't think you need at all to get guilty for disliking status crap. Change can be painful and scary, though, even the good ones.

 

[dandy]

 

[verte76]

Thanks! Change is *very* difficult for an autistic. It's the hardest thing for us to deal with. I'll just have to ride the storm. I've really had it with this status obsession, it's so silly.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[tiny dancer]

You have to think about yourself for a change. You come first in your life at this time, so try to stop feeling guilty about this. Please take care of yourself, and you will be in my prayers.

 

[Muggsy]

You're in my prayers verte ....

 

[nbcrusader]

change is stressful, but have faith in our immutable God!

 

[hiphop]

Blessings verte

 

[coemgen]

I'm praying for you Verte! Change is where growth happens, remember that. If you focus on God, then you're just going to grow closer to him too, which is the best that any of us can hope for.

Hang in there!

 

[verte76]

I saw my therapist today right before work. She told me that this is a sign of growth. It's really part of my development as an artist. People in this Renaissance group tend to be really narrow-minded about art; they think if it doesn't look like a photograph, it's not art. I started working at the studio in September, 2003, and pretty quickly came to prefer doing the art I was learning there over making costumes and such, because there are some really rude people in the group who've made some dumbass remarks about my costumes, my papers, everything, you name it. Since I started at the studio I've sold six paintings, including one to the executives of Energen, which is the Alabama gas company, just last month. This painting was the one that's currently my avatar, and now it's on permanent display in the Energen offices! It was entered in a competition and I won, very unexpectedly. I think I'm getting my priorities sorted out. I'm going to be giving my rosary quite a workout, trust me! But I definitely think I'm doing the right thing for me, and my community because I donate money I make from pictures to the African Well Fund. In fact, I originally started at the studio partially because I wanted to make more money to donate to the Fund.

 

[the soul waits]

Just wanted to say that I enjoy your posts, Verte, and that I wish you the most of strength and faith in yourself during these times

 

[VertigoGal]

thinking of you verte .

no need to hang out with elitists, they are the worst types of people, imo. congrats on your successes with your art, and that's so awesome that you've been donating the proceeds to the well fund. i admire that.

and ive looked thru your website and have to say your art is great- has a unique quality about it that i cant explain cos i know nothing about art, but its really good.

dont let the bastards gring ya down!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I hate artificial and self absorbed stuff too . If you need to get away from it for the sake of your mental health that's nothing to feel guilty about. No need to feel guilty for being a good person

Who cares what they say about your art-yes they sound like elitists, I think your art looks fantastic.

 

[verte76]

Actually some of the people in this group are nice people. Last night one of them even sent me an e-mail expressing sympathy with my health issues. Not all of them make dumbass remarks about my art, they're pretty cool about it, actually. I actually do plan to continue to hang around the nice people, just not the elitist snots. The nice people are my friends, but the snots can go to hell. It's just that recently I've had bad luck and have mostly been stuck at events with a bunch of the snots, and those people really stress me out. I feel better today because I worked at the studio. That's really therapeutic.

 

[VertigoGal]

that's good.

for me, it seems like having one or two good friends in a group of people usually helps me ignore the rest of the idiots.