Guess what? It's another help-someone-with-a-girl-problem thread.

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If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Unlike you mate, I don't have that sort of time on my hands. I know what sarcasm is bud.

And I dont see how I actually was sexist. What I see as sexist is trying to "protect" a woman from words such as cunt. Their human, like us all, if they can give out abuse, they can take it too.

We're all equal, having a vagina doesn't make you vulnerable, woman don't shrivel up and cry at "foul language". They shrivel up and cry when they go on and a blind date and find you waiting for them.

... Excuse me?

It's not a matter of censorship here, it's the fact that you directly insulted somebody here.

And please, don't ever try and represent women again. I'm not sure what anyone would see in you, kiddo. And don't say "oh but Scotland is all different to the rest of the world we're the best aye". I've never met a Scot such as yourself before.
 
whoa, what did i miss while i was at work :lol:

wow, a snotnose teenager that can write big 4 letter words on a message board. i guess i'm supposed to be impressed at how badass he is.
 
Well, there's more to sex than vaginal and your preferred anal. You know, there's that one that starts with o. To most people, that still counts as sexytimes.
Linguistic dexterity helps to pick up girls, actually regular dexterity (such as magic tricks) do as well, it's amazing how many morons don't know that.
 
I'm just over this thread is all. I'm never reading another one of these again.

What are you, a non-Scottish woman? Grow a backbone and keep us informed about these oral benefits. I want to know if they actually exist.
 
Well I did it today. Not going to go into it, this thread is just fucked now, but it didn't go down as I'd hoped.

Now can just we close/delete this goddam thread. :sigh:
 
:hug: thanks all!

i'm not beating myself up, in fact i'm not even really worried about the rejection, just more about the friendship going down the gurgler because i had to ask. if i know her, she'll get weird. i can move on now though. excited about uni. adopt, adapt, improve.
 
yeah, she might go all weird for a bit but its amazing what the passage of time can fix (i know, its a clunky old saying but eh? I can be a clunky ole thing :) )

am guessing there's only about 4 weeks to go till the whole uni thing cranks up - so exciting all that newness - new people, experiences, ideas - my heads about to explode on your behalf :)
 
well i guess this is the right place to put this.
I met this one girl around july last year. I've really only just begun to get to know her. I REALLY like her, but I dont want to mess this up like I've managed to do with other girls. And by that I mean that I don't want to say the wrong thing, and alienate her.
I need some pointers on what I should and should not do. Thanx.
And be nice, I'm only 14...
 
Be yourself, don't try to impress her by pretending to be someone you're not. That's the worst thing you could do.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. If you want to impress her or something, just try to do it by being nice, be a friend for her, if she's bad at some subject you're good at, offer to help her with her homework, that kinda stuff.
 
:no::no::no:

for the love of god, don't try to "be a friend for her". being too much of the nice guy friend type will get you nowhere dude. THAT is the worst thing you could do. read over this whole thread if you havent already.
 
method? HA!

ok

method #1:

you develop personality traits that women seem to be attracted to, confidence, humor, indifference. you dont constantly suck up to her or kiss her ass all the time trying to be her friend. if you do it right she may become attracted to you and might even make the 1st move. (which i have had happen a couple of times)

method #2:

you try to be her friend and that's all she will ever think of you, a friend nothing more. you play that game for a while then you finally get fed up and think it's gonna go nowhere unless you do something, so you think the best thing to do is tell her how you feel.

guy: can i talk to you?
girl: sure, whats up
guy *sigh* you know i have wanted to tell you this so many times but this is gonna be really hard so here it goes, ever since i first met you i have really really liked you. you are all i think about and i have trouble sleeping at night when i think about you BLAH BLAH BLAH. how do you feel?
girl: well i like you as a friend, but not like that (get the fuck away from me, you freak.)


i know my "method" if you wanna call it that has no guarantees, but believe me i have done both methods before and have seen other guys do one and some do the other. i have had and noticed other guys have had better results with method #1. all through highschool and 5 years of college i have never seen method #2 actually work. the guy tells the girl how he feels and she runs into his arms like in the movies. it ALWAYS freaks her out. i think you can verify that method #2 certainly doesnt work, cant you.

christ, how many times do i have to explain myself? it's not that complicated. :banghead:
 
Are you selling a book as well?

It sounds like one of those limp, lifeless and boring self-help programs.

Huge surprise that some guys are awkward around women in their teens and twenties, and that they don't have experience, and that self-confidence is a good thing.

You translate your "method" into a mindless algorithm, as if talking to your favoured gender should be a monotonous effort; it all seems a terrific way to turn isolated men into mediocre lovers, but wheres the bloody fun.

Obviously we all rehearse strategies until they succeed, thats how you build experience, it isn't some magical book that teaches you how to be disarmingly charming around women; its all practice.

Yes, everybody has their unrequited love dashed, and those feelings hurt; but you get up and try again; it doesn't take a algorithmic robot/sex toy to figure that one out.

No doubt pouring out feelings can create distance, but a person creates distance in advance, by playing through "what if" scenarios in their brain, getting flummoxed around their object of infatuation, and blowing everything out of proportion.

As far as your much vaunted indifference goes, I hope that you really find neediness attractive, that you can get that girlfriend who needs your approval to be self-confident.

Heaven forfend that you try the exact opposite, and be engaging, witty, and charming (that demands being a bit of a freak). That when you talk to girls you and have some fun with it. That your confident enough in your masculinity to challenge the type of poseur who would use "the game" by giving a running narrative of his vacuity to his (and importantly her) face.

It sounds like you have a very strange respect for women, but then I might be the abnormal one (I like tall girls, don't like blondes, but do like glasses and intelligence in preferred partners).
 
im just trying to point out general character traits that women tend to find attractive, as opposed to say, trying to be their puppy dog. im not gonna spoon-feed them on how to apply them, like you said it takes practice. you gotta go out and do it, i cant explain how it's done. i never thought of it as a "method" like "oooh lemme figure out some secret way to get all these dumb girls to like me".

i'm obviously unable to explain myself properly, so ill just stop.
 
In John's defense, I got a better sense of what he means earlier in the thread, and I think describing this sort of approach just doesn't sound good in writing. It sounds assholish, but it's really not. You meet a guy, he's funny, sort of smart-assish, mildly teasing and flirty, doesn't fawn over you, and then before you know it, you look forward to seeing him again, because he makes you laugh and feel good, and then soon, you're wishing you had his attention. Been there. And, it really is appealing.

Also, I've had male friends that I've realized I've had romantic feelings for, too. Sometimes they've gotten there before I have - they start behaving a little differently - more attentive, more complimentary, and it takes a while for me to clue in to what's happening, but there have been a few times where I've suddenly realized what's happening, and thought "Huh. Maybe I could see us together." Then there have been other times where I think the realization has sort of been simultaneous for both of us (at least I think it has, maybe he just hid it).

The former are fun guys, and when you do end up together, it can be a lot of fun. But in my experience, the ones I've known don't make the adjustment that John describes to super-nice-guy, great-boyfriend-material, they sort of stay...well, the way they are. They're fun for a while, but it tends to burn out quickly.

For something more longterm and significant, I've found the second kind of guy to be the best bet. They seem to care more, and ultimately be more invested in the relationship, long after the first kind of guy has moved on to try his methods with someone else.

These are just my observations. Don't go by me, though. If you measure relationship success by permanence, I'm currently single, so it's a work in progress. I guess my point is, for you younger guys out there, both ways can work, there's no right or wrong way. Just be yourself, and have confidence, but you're not going to feel confident behaving in ways that are completely contradictory to who you are. By being the latter kind of a guy, you might not get quantity, but you'll probably get quality. :)
 
im just trying to point out general character traits that women tend to find attractive, as opposed to say, trying to be their puppy dog. im not gonna spoon-feed them on how to apply them, like you said it takes practice. you gotta go out and do it, i cant explain how it's done. i never thought of it as a "method" like "oooh lemme figure out some secret way to get all these dumb girls to like me".

i'm obviously unable to explain myself properly, so ill just stop.

I never said you need to become a Puppy dog and kiss her ass 24/7.

I said be a friend. That's a huge difference. Be nice to her and show some care. If you keep acting indifferent, you might be playing hard to get, but most women I know wouldn't fall for that, if you dont' show interest, they think you're not interested and move on. If you are nice to her and show her some interest, she might bite.
 
method? HA!

ok

method #1:

you develop personality traits that women seem to be attracted to, confidence, humor, indifference. you dont constantly suck up to her or kiss her ass all the time trying to be her friend. if you do it right she may become attracted to you and might even make the 1st move. (which i have had happen a couple of times)

method #2:

you try to be her friend and that's all she will ever think of you, a friend nothing more. you play that game for a while then you finally get fed up and think it's gonna go nowhere unless you do something, so you think the best thing to do is tell her how you feel.

guy: can i talk to you?
girl: sure, whats up
guy *sigh* you know i have wanted to tell you this so many times but this is gonna be really hard so here it goes, ever since i first met you i have really really liked you. you are all i think about and i have trouble sleeping at night when i think about you BLAH BLAH BLAH. how do you feel?
girl: well i like you as a friend, but not like that (get the fuck away from me, you freak.)


i know my "method" if you wanna call it that has no guarantees, but believe me i have done both methods before and have seen other guys do one and some do the other. i have had and noticed other guys have had better results with method #1. all through highschool and 5 years of college i have never seen method #2 actually work. the guy tells the girl how he feels and she runs into his arms like in the movies. it ALWAYS freaks her out. i think you can verify that method #2 certainly doesnt work, cant you.

christ, how many times do i have to explain myself? it's not that complicated. :banghead:

I was just saying that it isn't foolproof, that's all. As AW said here, it's not an algorithm. There's no science. The book comment is true as well, what I mean by that is, if you wrote a book here, would that suddenly ensure success for all males stuck in said position? No. In your experience it obviously works - and you've explained yourself perfectly clearly, many times - and in my experience I guess it's been proven once - that it probably doesn't work to be a friend, though I wasn't kissing her ass, as it's been put, either.

No doubt pouring out feelings can create distance, but a person creates distance in advance, by playing through "what if" scenarios in their brain, getting flummoxed around their object of infatuation, and blowing everything out of proportion.

I can second this one :lol: :reject:
 
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