Girl trouble... Again.

[ReFan]

Here's the deal. Out of nowhere, I've started to become attracted to my best friend, who I've known for three years. Alot of our friends and people we know think we make a cute couple. She doesn't. I asked her if she'd get with me, and she said no, later stating that she'd like to STAY my friend, and nothing more. But I don't know. I still like her, but I don't know what I should do. Should I give it another go, perhaps at a more appropriate moment (I had asked her RIGHT after 2nd period... Maybe THAT had something to do with it)? Or should I give in to her response, and stay her friend, whom I steal hugs from whenever I can?

 

[coolian2]

sounds like you've done all you can tbh.

 

[vaz02]

Im in the same situation, best to leave it as friends mate.

 

[Purplereign]

thats all kinda yuck . . . unrequited feelings are a killer, but she said she just wants to be friends . . . so if you can just be her friend do it, she may just come to her senses eventually tonnes of luck to you

 

[Galeongirl]

Don't ask her again. She already gave you a clear no. You'd just push your luck and might lose her as a friend altogether!
Stay her friend, and who knows what'll happen in the future.

 

[kafrun]

Don't ask her again. She already gave you a clear no. You'd just push your luck and might lose her as a friend altogether!
Stay her friend, and who knows what'll happen in the future.

Pretty much what I was going to say. There's nothing I loathe more than a friend who wants more and won't get the hint until you give them a clear and firm(often harsh) "NO". If you keep pushing, you'll push her right out of your life. If it's meant to be more, she'll come around. I once ended up with a guy I'd originally said no to.

 

[vaz02]

Play the long game mate. The tortoise beat the hare.

 

[WCF]

To put it bluntly... ffffrrriiieeeennndddzzzooonnneeedd!!

Ok seriously though. Yeah, if your really into her, it's probably one of the worst emotional things you can go through...especially if you psyche yourself up too much. Just learn to let it go and move on. Before, perhaps I'd give you some options or something you could take, but I've never had success myself and don't know anyone who has with the dreaded friendzone. girls!

One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand about the situation is the difficulty of staying friends with someone your attracted to. You mention stealing hugs... but, honestly, what is that really going to do? It will probably just keep you "hooked," maybe wanting more. It's hard to get rid of someone in your mind when your constantly seeing each other, and on such good terms too. Sometimes, I find it necessary to break a friendship for a while (subtely) just to get rid of the feeling.

High school drama

 

[ReFan]

To put it bluntly... ffffrrriiieeeennndddzzzooonnneeedd!!

Ok seriously though. Yeah, if your really into her, it's probably one of the worst emotional things you can go through...especially if you psyche yourself up too much. Just learn to let it go and move on. Before, perhaps I'd give you some options or something you could take, but I've never had success myself and don't know anyone who has with the dreaded friendzone. girls!

One thing a lot of people don't seem to understand about the situation is the difficulty of staying friends with someone your attracted to. You mention stealing hugs... but, honestly, what is that really going to do? It will probably just keep you "hooked," maybe wanting more. It's hard to get rid of someone in your mind when your constantly seeing each other, and on such good terms too. Sometimes, I find it necessary to break a friendship for a while (subtely) just to get rid of the feeling.

High school drama

So what do you suggest? Find someone else to attach to?

 

[coolian2]

you don't need to find someone else, it's not like you always have to be lusting after someone. you just need at accept her decision and move on, because anything else is exceedingly unhealthy for you and your friendship.

 

[Galeongirl]

you don't need to find someone else, it's not like you always have to be lusting after someone. you just need at accept her decision and move on, because anything else is exceedingly unhealthy for you and your friendship.

Agreed 100%.

Today it seems like you're nothing if you're single or so, I keep getting that feeling from 'popular' kids. That's total bullshit, you don't need someone else to be happy, ofcourse it's nice to have someone, but it's not like your life depends on it.

 

[coolian2]

Agreed 100%.

Today it seems like you're nothing if you're single or so, I keep getting that feeling from 'popular' kids. That's total bullshit, you don't need someone else to be happy, ofcourse it's nice to have someone, but it's not like your life depends on it.

exactly. i mean, i'm sure as hell a lot happier now than i was when i was single - but i didn't feel like i was a complete failure as a person just because i didn't have a girlfriend. it's nice, but it's not necessary and more people need to accept that.

 

[WCF]

So what do you suggest? Find someone else to attach to?

The mentality that you need someone to be attached to, as others pointed out, is bad.

Buuuuuut, on the other hand, perhaps finding someone else might be good for you. Don't think of it as looking for someone else to be attached to, more like... "expanding your horizons."

During prom season, there was drama between me and the girl everyone, including me, expected me to go to prom with. Obviously I didn't want to go with someone if there was going to be trouble, so I went out looking for someone else. Although I eventually did end up going with that girl, I made friends with a lot of people just by going out and actively talking to people. It also killed a lot of that... "excessive passion" I had for her. Win-win if you ask me.

 

[nadie]

Play the long game mate. The tortoise beat the hare.

xkcd - A Webcomic - Friends

 

[lauramullen]

Stay just friends with her. Respect her decision. I agree with everyone else

 

[CrashedCarDriver]

wait until you get on the end of wrong signals

those are a KILLER!

... i had a problem with one that i wasnt all that attracted to, in terms of physically - even though she was a vegetarian, she was a little overweight, mainly because she had a thyroid problem; and she also had a loud, rash and obnoxious uneducated sounding accent...

but it was her VALUES were on the same level as me. the older you get the less important it becomes about looks, it becomes more about intelligence and values.

the funny thing is: i KNEW i was asking for trouble getting interested in her, at first sight, i knew firsthand she was a bit of a hurter, and i fell for it. maybe its my self destructive nature to be interested in getting hurt, but thats another thing altogether

at least i got a kiss off her - once

 

[CrashedCarDriver]

another danger sign to watch out for:

the girl's friends are only female!

and she only needs 1 male friend

it means he's number 1, and youre number NONE!

 

[Ted Mosby]

Don't tell a girl you just met you love her.

Signals are confusing.

 

[Galeongirl]

I always thought that one's quite obvious. Since how can you know you love someone when you just met them?

Sure, you can be in love and have feelings for her, but love itself runs so much deeper. That won't develop in a day or two!

 

[Ted Mosby]

It was Robin... it's different.

 

[Cactus Annie]

I got a blast from the past from an ex Darrin back in February. I remember it because on the night they'd shown the Grammies I just caught the end of U2's performance on there. Then Whitney Houstan came on the stage and made a comment that she was wearing boots I got phone call. And low&behold it was my ex on the phone saying that he was passing through my town as he was on his way into Devon. He asked me whether he could stay the night at mine and stupidly I said yes. When I went outside to meet him his car stereo was playing a Whitney song (there's the Grammy connection).

We still had that snow around then but why did I let him in? I don't even like him that much. Maybe I thought I was just being a good citizen. He was a male chauvenistic selfish prick who I 'm so glad is out of my life after I had moved all the way up north to with him before I had a chance to get a tetinus shot. Come on Darrin why am I the one who has to change my whole life around. I had to move miles away from my home, family and friends, can't you meet me half way, like Birmingham.

Northern guys they always taste of gravy- mo oh oxo cube. He slept with my friend, and that was the final straw.

Don't think you ever get another chance with Cactus Annie.

 

[vaz02]

Well me and my long game kissed last night ( both drunk ) and i regret it now, its just not right.

 

[Cactus Annie]

When i found out they slept together I told her that I will repay her by sleeping with her boyfriend. She told me not to because it was silly. Yeah I'M SUCH A SILLY SAUSAGE!