Forwarded PMs

[U2Kitten]

Is this a common thing? I thought there was some kind of unwritten internet code of honor that forbade this, except in maybe very extreme situations like deaht threats, but not for petty gossip. Someone did this to me (not here) and I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. It's a betrayal of confidence and trust among friends. Yes, this person was supposed to be my friend. There are 2 people involved, both very neurotic, histronic middle aged women. I don't know what to do. I am a mod on that board, and I could easily pull the fucking plug on both those bitches, and I should. But unfortunately, it's a much smaller community than here, only about 75 members with only about 25 posting regularly, and they are very active so they'd be missed and the tales (lies) they'd tell would probably destroy the entire community there by making people not speak to each other and stop posting. There's only one other mod and she refuses to get involved. What would you do?

 

[DrTeeth]

You can forward pms nowadays? Wow, am I glad I'm a guy, especially when death threats are involved.

 

[U2Kitten]

You can forward pms nowadays? Wow, am I glad I'm a guy, especially when death threats are involved.

There were no death threats involved in this, just saying that would be about the only worst case scenario in which I could justify it happening.

So guys aren't this way? Good, but I know a few who might be.

 

[U2Girl1978]

That's pretty catty. If you feel like your trust has been betrayed by these two people, I guess putting them on ignore would work. Or maybe you could just ban them.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

well you if you don't want to ban them you could tell at least tell them that what they did was hurtful to you and not okay (and add something about forewarding people's PMs to the FAQs if it's not already there). On the other hand, they're likely to just copy what you write and paste it in an email so that that way you won't know that they're doing it. Do they already know that you know? If not, you may want to not say anything IF you would like to know when they do this in the future (which you may not want).

 

[IWasBored]

tell them to fuck off, tell them you won't ban them, and then ban them anyway. that's what i did when i was a mod at a board. until i went and banned myself, that is...

 

[dandy]

IWB

 

[Diemen]

There are 2 people involved, both very neurotic, histronic middle aged women.

Those are the worst.

I'd suggest letting it go with a mild warning, you know, a "that's not cool" or similar. Unless they make the PMs public, in which case I'd ban their asses.

 

[U2Kitten]

Re: Re: Forwarded PMs

Those are the worst.

I'd suggest letting it go with a mild warning, you know, a "that's not cool" or similar. Unless they make the PMs public, in which case I'd ban their asses.

Yes, they are. Thanks, you're exactly right. If they post them, they're gone.

 

[zoney!]

I am not sure about "unwritten rules of the Internet" - but it is similar to forwarding a e-mail.

Catty (no pun intended ) and petty indeed.

If you take away the "Internet" part of this...it just sounds like what happens in real life with teenage girls "well I CAN-NOT BElieVE she said THAT too you."

Sorry you have to deal with this U2K!

 

[Liesje]

I think the "unwritten rule" is that you don't BCC.

 

[zoney!]

wht do they have it then?

Maybe U2K could confirm this....did the Blind Copy the PM - or was it forwarded without her knowledge?

 

[U2Kitten]

wht do they have it then?

Maybe U2K could confirm this....did the Blind Copy the PM - or was it forwarded without her knowledge?

She just forwarded it like it was a reply being sent back to me, only she erased my name and put the other woman's screen name in the box. Of course I'm sure she added 'look at this."

 

[Liesje]

wht do they have it then?

Maybe U2K could confirm this....did the Blind Copy the PM - or was it forwarded without her knowledge?

Why have BCC? Not sure. The only reason I use it is when I'm sending an e-mail to such a HUGE list of people, no one wants to scroll past 100 lines of "To" or "CC" fields. Using the BCC field only shows the single recipient.

 

[zoney!]

She just forwarded it like it was a reply being sent back to me, only she erased my name and put the other woman's screen name in the box. Of course I'm sure she added 'look at this."

That's crappy!

 

[indra]

wht do they have it then?

I think it can be a way to cover your ass in certain situations. Perhaps in a situation where someone is abusive to you or claiming you are to them it could be used to allow someone else to keep an eye on the situation.

I can see it in a business situation or with some clubs or the like. I think it would be best not to use it in personal situations though, as if you're having that type of problem with a friend, using the BCC option to bring someone else into the situation is just going to fan the flames.