Forgive Me Father, For I Am An Dumbass

[EdgeVox]

My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time.....we always talked about sex, in terms of when would be a good time for her...(We were both virgins), I had given her 4 U2 tapes that I had compiled according to this badass Top 100 U2 Songs of all Time at www.u2one.com......I had calculated that by the time we actually got to making love that Bad would come on......I am guilty for spending countless hours calculating just how much foreplay would be involved...For stalling throughout Ultraviolet thinking that Bad was the next song.........Whenever I hear Heartland (which I love) I can't help but wince because I can't relate it to my first time.......fucking song is about America.......it's like listening to On The Road Again for your first time.....Well at least the sex was great....

 

[Angela Harlem]

*Ang wipes the tears away*

I cant stop chuckling at that Edgevox!


Yes, at least the sex was good!

You are forgiven, simply because it was hilarious

 

[Bonochick]

What else can I say except for....*lol*??

------------------
Katherine@U2mail.org
http://Bonochick.tripod.com

 

[TylerDurden]

Thats not so bad. Somehow, through no fault of my own, mine was 'Lightning Crashes' by Live. Obviously some of the lyrics aren't the greatest....

 

[EdgeVox]

's Tyler,
that's hilarious.....I can't imagine losing your virginity to lines like "her placenta falls to the floor"

"I am Jack laughing his ass off"

[This message has been edited by EdgeVox (edited 02-01-2001).]

 

[bono_man]

Ok all...just between you and and me ok..

Speaking of the losing virginity thing...I lost mine when I was 15 to With Or Without You. Sound romantic? Well it was...only problem, I only made it as far as the "my hands are tied" part...

if you get me...

 

[apoed]

I have a funny story for you. And it's long ago enough now that I can talk about it without being embarrassed anymore.

My first girfriend and I were making out in my bedroom one night (fully clothed), and we were listening to Sarah McLachlan on the radio. Well, a little grinding was going on, etc., etc., and well, let's just say I, um, "wet myself" (ya know, with the white stuff). It was definitely embarrassing, but we both thought it was kind of funny, particularly since the song that was playing on the radio at that particular moment in time was called "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy".

Just thought I'd share...

Oh, and BTW, my stamina is much improved now, many years later - just to restore my good name.

 

[Quick Vick]

apoed, how did your girlfriend know that you 'wet' yourself? What kind of clothes were you wearing?

 

[apoed]

QV: Um, you can also kind of tell from the look on someone's face!!! It's not difficult!

 

[Celtic Warrior]

Here's an idea- make a tape with the same song on the whole side ie. Bad so you don't have to worry about timing. By the way, Hearland, yes, it's about America, but it's language very sensual. The line: "she feels like water in my hand" ... shivers

 

[TylerDurden]

I think every person on this earth has an ugly story like these. bono_man, lasting 1 minute isn't *that* bad.........
apoed, that is the funniest thing I've heard all day.
Everyone in this forum should post their 'most embarrasing intimate moment story'.

 

[alc]

OK all you premature guys, time to hear from a mature girl. My boyfriend at the time tried to seduce me to, are you ready for this, "In the Air Tonight". You know, I can feel it coming... God, pathetic... Needless to say, I kept my virginity that night. As for how it is now, all my husband has to do is put on "Unforgettable Fire", especially "Homecoming". (oh yes, "Heartland" is a great one, too.)

 

[Celtic Warrior]

LMAO! "In the Air Tonight"... that is too funny *gasping for air* Phil Collins- probably not the biggest turn on. I shouldn't say anything though; I went through a Genesis phase... drummer and a lead singer... Larry + Bono = Phil? Nevermind, I need sleep.

 

[alc]

You know what is funny? I can clearly remember that stupid night with the Phil Collins song, but have only the vaguest recollection of when I DID lose my virginity. And I don't remember what was music was playing either. Guess its all crap that you never forget your first time. Or is it just that we were all too wasted? Or is it just me?

 

[EdgeVox]

I didn't mean to give the impression that I am ......ahem....premature....when it comes to lovin'......I don't know how alc got to that conclusion.....my story was about me trying to plan my first time in the sack a little too perfectly, and it just didn't work out....fucking Bad never came on...

 

[apoed]

Yeah, alc, cut me some slack, too! I was still a virgin at the time, so...

 

[alc]

Hey guys, I understand. No disrespect intended. And I know you are in the confessional, and baring your souls. You must admit, your stories were funny, but also very sweet, too. OK?

 

[grace]

even though this thread happened a month ago, i just wanted to say thanks for sharing the humor. god, some of these stories are hilarious. esp. when Edgevox wrote: "it's like listening to 'On The Road Again' for your first time." (don't think it's quite that bad, though.)
Also "fumbling toward ecstasy". that's classic!