Ever overcome a phobia?

[Angela Harlem]

I don't know if it's even possible. I did phobia course and I thought it helped for a little while. Over the last 2 weeks though, I've come up close and personal with my fear in its natural setting, and now I am just not sure it's any better at all. I kicked my fear of flying so that I can at least fly without having minor heart trouble, but spiders? It's not happening.


Have you overcome one? If so, how? I want to do this from a distance. No facing up to them.

 

[Carek1230]

I was recommended a book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by a Counselor years ago and have recommended the book to many people (someone I loaned my copy to never returned it!) It's a good book and worked for me anyway. It literally changed my life. There are a lot of books on the market that might help, check Amazon.com

Good luck. If you kicked one phobia I'd think kicking another would be less of a challenge, although I suppose our phobias are all very different.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I don't know if it's even possible. I did phobia course and I thought it helped for a little while. Over the last 2 weeks though, I've come up close and personal with my fear in its natural setting, and now I am just not sure it's any better at all. I kicked my fear of flying so that I can at least fly without having minor heart trouble, but spiders? It's not happening.


Have you overcome one? If so, how? I want to do this from a distance. No facing up to them.

oh god, spiders...no no no. we learned about overcoming phobias in psych class in high school and i remember they used a snake as an example. i'm sure spiders would be done in the same way. it's this gradual thing. you look at a photo first. then an actual one in a cage across the room, and slowly get closer. then you touch one OMGNOFUCKINGWAY. no way in hell am i ever touching a spider unless it's the bottom of my shoe. that phobia i'll have for the rest of my life.

i wish i could overcome my fear of falling though. that'd be awesome.

 

[major_panic]

I don't know if it's even possible. I did phobia course and I thought it helped for a little while. Over the last 2 weeks though, I've come up close and personal with my fear in its natural setting, and now I am just not sure it's any better at all. I kicked my fear of flying so that I can at least fly without having minor heart trouble, but spiders? It's not happening.


Have you overcome one? If so, how? I want to do this from a distance. No facing up to them.

You live in Australia. It's entirely justified to have a phobia of spiders here, most of them here can bloody well kill you just by looking at you. /exaggeration

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

You live in Australia. It's entirely justified to have a phobia of spiders here, most of them here can bloody well kill you just by looking at you. /exaggeration

oh jesus, every time someone talks about the bugs there, it makes me a lot less likely to ever visit. :loser:

 

[bono_212]

oh god, spiders...no no no. we learned about overcoming phobias in psych class in high school and i remember they used a snake as an example. i'm sure spiders would be done in the same way. it's this gradual thing. you look at a photo first. then an actual one in a cage across the room, and slowly get closer. then you touch one OMGNOFUCKINGWAY. no way in hell am i ever touching a spider unless it's the bottom of my shoe. that phobia i'll have for the rest of my life.

i wish i could overcome my fear of falling though. that'd be awesome.

God, that wouldn't work for me. I'm scared of wild mice. I'm actually ok with them in cages. I'll even begrudgingly pet a domesticated one.

I don't dislike mice, I am downright afraid of them. I won't stay over at my dad's house anymore because I saw two there, and I don't sleep well at home because there WAS one there, though I'm told it's now dead.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

God, that wouldn't work for me. I'm scared of wild mice. I'm actually ok with them in cages. I'll even begrudgingly pet a domesticated one.

I don't dislike mice, I am downright afraid of them. I won't stay over at my dad's house anymore because I saw two there, and I don't sleep well at home because there WAS one there, though I'm told it's now dead.

why is it for things like this, people feel the need to lie and say the bug or animal is dead or gone? or when they're telling the truth, it sounds like it's a lie? i'll see a spider and someone will tell me they killed it, but it always comes off more like "i couldn't find it but i'm sure it's gone or died"

 

[bono_212]

the thing is that there were two mice at our house, I KNOW there were. Mom didn't want me to know, but Brittany told me. And they only killed one. But since they haven't seen the other one in a while, it must be gone

Oh God, I don't even want our extended family to have Thanksgiving at our house because all that food is just going to bring them back

 

[The Sad Punk]

oh jesus, every time someone talks about the bugs there, it makes me a lot less likely to ever visit. :loser:

Phobias come and go for me. I had a really bad arachnophobia just a couple of years ago, and it peaked when I was staying out north in the country for a day or two getaway. It was complete spider weather. I had to swat them off of me, and someone I was staying with got this rude bite on their face. But gradually I got over it. Anyway, I don't know what the moral of the story is, but basically it's not always as bad as I described, I mean it's not like that every day, I don't go to a pub and leave an hour later with all cobwebs on my head.

As for mice, we had this really, really bad plague when I was a kid. Mice running between walls and all over the yard and stuff. We killed a great many that season, yeaaup.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I mean it's not like that every day, I don't go to a pub and leave an hour later with all cobwebs on my head.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Right! Sorted I've got the bug people coming on Monday to environmentally ravage the place. They guarantee no huntsmans for 12 months!!!!!!!! That is fucking awesome. They're doing an entire chemical wipeout and will go under our creepy house and attack from there, too. They're going under the pool deck to stop floaty funnel webs (who are rumoured to be able to live under/in water for 3-5 days!!!), they're stopping the redback nests in the bali garden, they're going to stop ants and cockroaches too (but they're not an issue here, and they don't scare the sideways jesus out of me anyway so it's just a bonus)....

$258/hour and my fear is assuaged. I cannot think of a better way to spend $258 smackers.

 

[The Sad Punk]

$258/hour and my fear is assuaged. I cannot think of a better way to spend $258 smackers.

We could have a party?

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

I used to be scared to death of snakes. Like seriously, truthfully frightened. Hated the damn things. But one day, when I was living at my old place about a year and a half ago, I met these two random dudes who lived in the apartment right below me. They brought over some beer and we were out shootin the shit on my balcony all afternoon when one of 'em leaves for a minute. He comes back into my apartment with a BIG fuckin green snake and walks onto the balcony and hands the thing right to me. I'm drunk and I don't think twice and next thing I know I'm holding this thing in my right hand. A snake. I guess the dudes owned it and kept it in their apartment. Anyway, it's slithering around and looking at me and I'm practically in shock. If the bastard had told me he was bringing a snake into my apartment I would have kicked his ass on general principle and I sure as hell wouldn't have let him hand the thing over to me. After about 10 seconds I handed it back to the guy and cracked open another beer.

I never saw those guys again and I'm still scared to death of snakes.

 

[cobl04]

oh god, spiders...no no no. we learned about overcoming phobias in psych class in high school and i remember they used a snake as an example. i'm sure spiders would be done in the same way. it's this gradual thing. you look at a photo first. then an actual one in a cage across the room, and slowly get closer. then you touch one OMGNOFUCKINGWAY. no way in hell am i ever touching a spider unless it's the bottom of my shoe. that phobia i'll have for the rest of my life.

systematic dysensitisation

I used to be scared to death of snakes. Like seriously, truthfully frightened. Hated the damn things. But one day, when I was living at my old place about a year and a half ago, I met these two random dudes who lived in the apartment right below me. They brought over some beer and we were out shootin the shit on my balcony all afternoon when one of 'em leaves for a minute. He comes back into my apartment with a BIG fuckin green snake and walks onto the balcony and hands the thing right to me. I'm drunk and I don't think twice and next thing I know I'm holding this thing in my right hand. A snake. I guess the dudes owned it and kept it in their apartment. Anyway, it's slithering around and looking at me and I'm practically in shock. If the bastard had told me he was bringing a snake into my apartment I would have kicked his ass on general principle and I sure as hell wouldn't have let him hand the thing over to me. After about 10 seconds I handed it back to the guy and cracked open another beer.

I never saw those guys again and I'm still scared to death of snakes.

I read that waiting for the epiphany. And it never came.

 

[dazzlingamy]

What i'd like to know is how you got over your fear of flying. I've been to the councellor, i've done the breathing exercises, and the 'everything is going to be fine' stuff, i'm feeling stronger about flying, and yet....im still absolutely fucking terrified. Help?

 

[beegee]

Have you overcome one? If so, how?

I overcame my fear of flying after reading an article in the Las Vegas Review Journal one morning about a woman (same age as me) who had been shot to death by some drunk asshole while sitting in her car at an intersection (same intersection I've sat at many times) while her two teenagers watched.

The story hit me so hard and I was struck by the realization that I cannot stop it. It was so absolutely clear to me. Whether I get on an airplane or cross the street or hell, just show up for work these days - I can die anywhere. If it's going to happen on an airplane then so be it. I flew twice that year after twelve years of avoiding flying. I did, however, sign up for Aflac (personal accident insurance), just in case.



As for the spiders, Angie, I have no idea, I'm sorry.

 

[bono_212]

As for mice, we had this really, really bad plague when I was a kid. Mice running between walls and all over the yard and stuff. We killed a great many that season, yeaaup.

Why do you want me to cry?

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Right! Sorted I've got the bug people coming on Monday to environmentally ravage the place. They guarantee no huntsmans for 12 months!!!!!!!! That is fucking awesome. They're doing an entire chemical wipeout and will go under our creepy house and attack from there, too. They're going under the pool deck to stop floaty funnel webs (who are rumoured to be able to live under/in water for 3-5 days!!!), they're stopping the redback nests in the bali garden, they're going to stop ants and cockroaches too (but they're not an issue here, and they don't scare the sideways jesus out of me anyway so it's just a bonus)....

$258/hour and my fear is assuaged. I cannot think of a better way to spend $258 smackers.

i'm such a loser i'd pay for them to come twice a year just to be sure the stuff didn't wear off. i don't even want to see the tiniest creepy crawly. none. ugh.

 

[BoMac]

Have I ever overcome a phobia? No, I'm still afraid to venture into certain areas of the forum.

 

[cobl04]

What i'd like to know is how you got over your fear of flying. I've been to the councellor, i've done the breathing exercises, and the 'everything is going to be fine' stuff, i'm feeling stronger about flying, and yet....im still absolutely fucking terrified. Help?

One way is to work with someone, making a list of the things you find terrifying about it, and then rank them from unsettling to horrible, and then, very gradually, do each step (so first may be buying a ticket) until you can move on.

Like beegee, I had a fear of flying (not a phobia though, and I've only flown once) and mine disapeared when I realised that death can happen anywhere, anyhow, and I find this helps: you are sooooo much more likely to die on the roads than in the air, and also, you only hear about plane crashes in the news don't you? They don't have a list every day showing every single flight across the world which took off and landed without hitch.

 

[dazzlingamy]

thanks guys, i totally understand what your saying, and its something i've been thinking about as well. I am booking flights to go overseas, and im just going to do it as best i can. Hopefully i'll desensitise myself to it.
I've done the list thing, and am going to work on each step
i'll let you know how i go!

 

[Zoobaby14]

One of the biggest phobias i have are cockroaches and spiders.

I can't stand them at all. Please give me a red belly black snake anyday.

And I also have this strange fear of paddle pop sticks

 

[last unicorn]

The only thing I'm really really scared of are snakes, I cannot even look at them on television, or in the zoo, they're freaking me out. I can take every other animal any day, even though I admit there are some I don't necessarily want crawling around in my sleeping room.

But snakes are I cannot even think of them.

I'm not scared of flying at all, I love it, but I'm a little scared of driving in a car with someone I don't know very well. I usually get very nervous, especially when there is bad weather or a lot of traffic. Personally, I don't drive, because I used to panick. I haven't driven a car in many years, the thought alone makes me feel uncomfortable. I love to walk or ride a bike, I can go by subway, train, bus, plane, ship, boat, donkey, whatever, but I don't drive, because I'm scared.

 

[Purplereign]

driving in the pelting rain - it just makes me cry

 

[Liesje]

I have been terrified of spiders since before I could even talk. My grandma told me that once she was watching me when I was a toddler and I was acting paralyzed, like I was having a conscious seizure or something. She even called my grandpa at work. I was sitting in the kid chair not moving or trying to talk. Well it was b/c there was a large crack in the drywall on the ceiling and I thought it was a giant spider. When I was about 3 I would have night terrors where I was covered in them and I couldn't move or I'd disturb them. Now when I see them, even if it's a small one, I'm too scared to even kill it, someone else has to do it. The only way I can kill them is to spray them or pour goo on them, I can stand to squish them with a book or anything. I HATE HATE HATE them! Spiders are evil and manipulative, if you think about it their entire existance is trapping things and inflicting pain. The hate seems to be mutual b/c I can't tell you how many times I've found them on me, or lifted the covers and found a huge one on my pillow, or felt one crawling on my legs under the sheets (a black hairy one!).

If you find the answer, let me know. Currently when I see one it's like a shot of adrenaline.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I was recommended a book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by a Counselor years ago and have recommended the book to many people (someone I loaned my copy to never returned it!) It's a good book and worked for me anyway. It literally changed my life. There are a lot of books on the market that might help, check Amazon.com

Good luck. If you kicked one phobia I'd think kicking another would be less of a challenge, although I suppose our phobias are all very different.

Thanks carek! I had a quick look around on this book, but it seems to be mostly on general fears? I have a lot of general fears, too many to list! But my phobias are something else entirely! My spider phobia is crippling and it rules my life. I can't even sit with my feet on the floor because I worry a spider will walk over my (usually) bare feet. I walk with my head down scanning the ground for spiders, occasionally looking up to check for spider webs. This is even in shopping centres and stuff where obviously none will be. I enter rooms and look to the corners in the ceilings for the typical huntsman in the corner. I see them everywhere. People say, "How do you see so many?", or, "No wonder you're afraid if you keep seeking them!" but this is a lifetime of habit we're talking about. Just the other night (reason for this thread, actually), my sister in law was over with car problems. I took her car for a quick ride with her and 2 of the kids in the car with me. We pulled up and then one went scuttling down the windscreen and stopped in front of me. I froze. I could barely get my phone out of my pocket to call my husband who was sitting in the house "Come quickly, drivers side windscreen, bring a shoe". He knew what the call was about. He's been a patient warrior in my battles for years. I my phobia coming out in my kids and the effect on them and it makes me so sad. I'm not quite sure what the point of this rambling is! Thanks for the book recommendation though

 

[Angela Harlem]

I have been terrified of spiders since before I could even talk. My grandma told me that once she was watching me when I was a toddler and I was acting paralyzed, like I was having a conscious seizure or something. She even called my grandpa at work. I was sitting in the kid chair not moving or trying to talk. Well it was b/c there was a large crack in the drywall on the ceiling and I thought it was a giant spider. When I was about 3 I would have night terrors where I was covered in them and I couldn't move or I'd disturb them. Now when I see them, even if it's a small one, I'm too scared to even kill it, someone else has to do it. The only way I can kill them is to spray them or pour goo on them, I can stand to squish them with a book or anything. I HATE HATE HATE them! Spiders are evil and manipulative, if you think about it their entire existance is trapping things and inflicting pain. The hate seems to be mutual b/c I can't tell you how many times I've found them on me, or lifted the covers and found a huge one on my pillow, or felt one crawling on my legs under the sheets (a black hairy one!).

If you find the answer, let me know. Currently when I see one it's like a shot of adrenaline.

I think we both feel the same way. I won't go on and on with the ways I see them, fear them, hallucinate them, etc. I could write here for hours and either make you all roll your eyes or laugh yourselves silly or how out of control my fear is.

 

[Angela Harlem]

What i'd like to know is how you got over your fear of flying. I've been to the councellor, i've done the breathing exercises, and the 'everything is going to be fine' stuff, i'm feeling stronger about flying, and yet....im still absolutely fucking terrified. Help?

I'm not honestly sure what happened. I'd flown domestically a few times and it killed me to do it. Then, a couple of years back we blew the money we had saved for a new house on a spur of the moment stop at Flight Centre. We booked a massive holiday to England, Wales, Ireland and France. It was to be the trip of a lifetime. I had a whole paranoid list of demands. I'd only fly QANTAS, the stopover couldn't be in Singapore, the takeoff had to be PM, etc etc etc. Crazy mental bullshit. Anyway, it was booked 9 months in advance. I had to get myself sorted, mentally. I did so by not thinking at all about the flight. I avoided it I spent the night before packing on the bed and watching "Upsize me" on the telly. Still not thinking about it. We got to the airport at a leisurely 4 hours earlier than departure. We dumped our bags, strolled around, ate a late lunch, strolled a bit more. We ended up down the 'bit' where the lounges were, and then saw it. The very plane we'd be going on. I nearly vomited. I felt SO sick. I never swear, ever, in front of my mother, but I just said "Jesus fucking christ. I cannot do this." everyone started arguing straight away, "Oh, yes you can" etc. And I wobbled over to the window and kept muttering, "Look at the fucking SIZE of this! How the FUCK is this going to stay up? We've made a mistake! I can't do this!" I was heading for a rather large breakdown. I was muttering, not yelling, so the kids were oblivious, thankfully. They were excited. Finally it was time to board and I knew that I'd not back out. Having to organise the kids was a blessing, they kept me very distracted. The plane was only 1/4 full, at most, and that helped. I then focused on the parts that I actually love about planes, despite my fear. The engines. So, so powerful. I love me a good engine on anything, anywhere, and you cannot beat the engines on a Boeing 747. I just listened to them and just counted when the plane moved to taxi. I don't know why I started counting, but it kept me quiet I listened to the engines and counted, paying attention to each number and visualising each in my head in a pretty fluoro colour. The worst part of flying for me is the runway and takeoff. Not sure what your least favourite part is, but maybe counting slowly will help? Once we were up in the air, I was strangely calm and actally content. It was so weird. It was like I burned out some fear chip. Nothing else happened until we were some place over Asia and then I got claustrophobic or something and the droning of the engines made me want to scratch my skin off. The relentless, steady hum was like bees buzzing all through me. I thought I was going to go a little crazy again, so I walked a few laps of the aisles to relax again. If you feel at all queazy, a lady on the Thai flight on our return gave me this magical black tea which fixed me right up. I thought it might have been the chili prawns they fed us at 3am! But either way, a black tea in half a cup of hot water topped up with cold water with no sugar will fix it. Who are you booked with? QANTAS are my choice always. We got a Thai plane on the way back due to fog at Charles de Gaulle, and missed the connecting QANTAS. Their service is impeccable, Thai is. Much superior to QANTAS! After my meltdown on the way though, I was right for the remaining 8 flights we had to take on the holiday. I'm not really sure how, but perhaps after 23 hours you too will burn out your fear chip?

 

[Angela Harlem]

I overcame my fear of flying after reading an article in the Las Vegas Review Journal one morning about a woman (same age as me) who had been shot to death by some drunk asshole while sitting in her car at an intersection (same intersection I've sat at many times) while her two teenagers watched.

The story hit me so hard and I was struck by the realization that I cannot stop it. It was so absolutely clear to me. Whether I get on an airplane or cross the street or hell, just show up for work these days - I can die anywhere. If it's going to happen on an airplane then so be it. I flew twice that year after twelve years of avoiding flying. I did, however, sign up for Aflac (personal accident insurance), just in case.



As for the spiders, Angie, I have no idea, I'm sorry.

This is the thing, huh. Time's up at some point. When? Who knows. We sure as hell don't!

 

[Liesje]

I think we both feel the same way. I won't go on and on with the ways I see them, fear them, hallucinate them, etc. I could write here for hours and either make you all roll your eyes or laugh yourselves silly or how out of control my fear is.

You won't hear me laughing. I might not be quite as bad as you, but honestly the reaction I feel when I see one I *never* get used to. It's like a feeling of shock, followed by rage. I literally HATE those things. I think that is my way of coping, to hate them.

This summer we had an infestation of wolf spiders. Ick! They are the big hairy ones that make funnel webs and are super fast. I bought a ton of chemicals and went around the outside of the house. The ones that died curled up right by the window and they are still there b/c I won't even touch a dead one with the stick (didn't help that they were so big it took several rounds of chemicals to kill them and they kept twitching).

I dunno what it is, it's just spiders. I don't care about Daddy Long Legs or most other bugs, I've picked fleas off my dog. Heck I had one of those hissing cockroaches when I was younger.