Ever get the feeling nobody gives a sh1t?

[gman]

I have just spent my 6th xmas in a row totally on my own. I cant help but think noboday gives a shit about me.
EVERYONE knows i am on my own on xmas day, yet no family or so called freinds ask me round for xmas day.
My ex never offers to take my kids over to spend a few hours with me on xmas day and i cant go there coz of her boyfriend.
Not ONE of the so called mates i mentioned earlier even had the time to text me a xmas message.
The thing is...when the boot is on the other foot, and one of my freinds was facing xmas on his own, I made him come to spend the day with me (and at the time, my family) rather than face being on his own.
Result is, i become all over analytical, and cant help but come to the conclusion that nobody gives a shit about me really, as everyone in my life seems to be ignorant bastards. Do you think that is an unresonable appraisal of the situation?

 

[Zoots]

I'm sorry, man! I know what it's like to be alone. I live in the US and my family lives far away in India. I got a few friends here but many of them are away this Christmas and New Years. So I'm alone on Christmas Day too, even though I went to a singles party last night. I don't feel so bad though, cos I'm listening to feel-good classic (and modern) Christmas songs, having some sugar frosted cookies (lol) and chatting with friends online. You are not alone.

 

[clarityat3am]

this year i chose to be alone and had one of the best christmases i can remember. i am no fan of holidays. they're all pretty depressing to me. somehow this one worked out for the best. only my grandparents called me today. i was beginning to wonder if anyone would. oh well.

 

[lauramullen]

I don't have a big family and wind up spending the holiday with the little family I have and would rather be at home by myself eating pizza and watching tv.

 

[WCF]

I seem to be in the same boat as you guys... i had to work all day today and half my family is gone. Didn't see anyone really and got no presents. Stupid Christmas.

We should all throw a pity party and sink this boat.

 

[Purplereign]

to the pity party

gman . . . for you

your 'friends' treatment of you has been ordinary at best
feeling like no one gives a shit is a somewhat less than ordinary feeling too
I'm sorry you're having such a crap time

hope that 2009 gives a chance to find some mates who will really be there for you & an opportunity to spend some more time with your kids

xx pr

 

[Lila64]

 

[cobl04]

Maybe bite the bullet next time, swallow your pride and just go round to family with a big smile on your face??

 

[Galeongirl]

Might be just me, but it seems you are complaining that nobody is calling you. Why wait for them to call you? How hard is it to pick up the phone and call your parents, asking them if they've plans for Christmas and if they'd like it if you came over or even if you would cook for them. Or call your ex and ask if you can have the kids this christmas?
Life ain't easy man, it's not just sit on your arse and wait for things to happen, you have to MAKE them happen.

 

[gman]

Might be just me, but it seems you are complaining that nobody is calling you. Why wait for them to call you? How hard is it to pick up the phone and call your parents, asking them if they've plans for Christmas and if they'd like it if you came over or even if you would cook for them. Or call your ex and ask if you can have the kids this christmas?
Life ain't easy man, it's not just sit on your arse and wait for things to happen, you have to MAKE them happen.

The problem is...if roles were reversed, I would have enough consideration towards others to ensure they didnt have the same xmas as i have had the last 6 yrs.
Its normally always me doing the running when it comes to texting good will messages at xmas, brithdays etc. As far as kids go, i would think most mothers with a car would be happy to take their kids over to see their dad on xmas day.
I disagree with you Galeon Girl, surely i should figure enough in friends and families thoughts at this time of year, without having to go to them cap in hand?

 

[Galeongirl]

I think mothers would, if they're separated from the father of the kid, choose for themselves actually. People are selfish like that. And besides, if you don't let her know you'd like them, how is she supposed to figure that out?
You have a right to disagree, I was only trying to advice you something that could end your time alone for a while. You might be expecting too much of people, you keep them in high regard, that's natural. But it's not always like that, people are weird creatures.

 

[Dirty Olde Town]

I'm sorry, gman, but I'm going to have to smack you. You are your children's father. Stop acting like a child and go see your kids. You don't have the right to let some other guy stand in the way of seeing your children. Call your ex and tell her you want your kids. You HAVE to put your pride aside and be their father, even if you don't like her boyfriend. Find a way, buddy, before they find a way to cut you out of their lives. And they will, if you keep on going the way you're going. I know this from experience, as my father had the attitude you had. By the time I was ten, I had nothing for him. I stopped accepting phone calls from him wehn I turned eighteen. Would have been sooner, only my mother kept trying. He wasn't worth it to me.

Do you want your kids to feel that way about you? I can understand how you feel, but this is one situation where you simply /have/ to go to them.

 

[VintagePunk]

I can understand how you feel, but this is one situation where you simply /have/ to go to them.

I agree with this. If your ex doesn't extend the offer for you to see your children over the holidays, you have to insist on it. This lets you enjoy their company, and also shows them that they are important to you. Do you have a custody agreement? Or if not, can't you work out something where one of you has them the day before Christmas, and the other Christmas day? That's generally the way that divorced families work it out. You can't always sit back and hope that someone does the right thing, especially in cases like this.

As for your friends, that's awful, I really don't know what to say about that. But GG has a point, you really could call them. Family? It probably wouldn't hurt for you to extend a hand to them, either. You don't have to go begging, like you're implying, but maybe in early December you could ask what their plans are, and suggest that you do something together? Maybe they're simply assuming that you don't want to be with them that day.

Good luck, I genuinely hope that next year is better for you.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i know how you feel gman, and i pretty much just have to agree with what everyone else says. i've been in that boat before where i feel bummed that friends never call and ask to hang out, for example...well what's stopping me from calling them? i know it seems lame to have to call people and basically invite yourself over, but sometimes you have to. especially around the holidays, people get...dense, basically. everyone's so busy thinking about buying gifts, dinner, etc. they don't stop to think about if someone they know has no plans and would like an invite. plus, it might be that everyone thinks you've already made plans or you prefer just being by yourself on christmas, either way they might not think you'd want to come by.

hopefully next year you'll have plans, whether it's with your kids, family, or friends.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I'm sorry, gman, but I'm going to have to smack you. You are your children's father. Stop acting like a child and go see your kids. You don't have the right to let some other guy stand in the way of seeing your children. Call your ex and tell her you want your kids. You HAVE to put your pride aside and be their father, even if you don't like her boyfriend. Find a way, buddy, before they find a way to cut you out of their lives. And they will, if you keep on going the way you're going. I know this from experience, as my father had the attitude you had. By the time I was ten, I had nothing for him. I stopped accepting phone calls from him wehn I turned eighteen. Would have been sooner, only my mother kept trying. He wasn't worth it to me.

Do you want your kids to feel that way about you? I can understand how you feel, but this is one situation where you simply /have/ to go to them.

Thanks for posting; my BP went up when I read that...I never let a Xmas or other holiday go by without me seeing my kids and I wasn't intimidated by any of her boyfriends or her 2nd husband...

While we don't know gman's relationship or legal standing with the kids, its Xmas and he doesn't have to be alone..

Gman, next time, call me, I'll come get you!

 

[cobl04]

Everyone's spot on pretty much, yeah you might not feel great about forcing yourself on a situation/people, but it'll be a lot better than sitting at home and lonely!

 

[MsPurrl]

gman, I feel really bad that you had such a crappy Christmas. I think it all boils down to the fact that everyone pretty much just thinks of himself/herself, and not everyone has the sensitivity to other people's feelings that we would like for them to.

Hang in there--I hope things improve for you.

 

[TranceEnding]

Gman, reading the thread title I initially thought ... yep, I feel like that too! But then I read your story, and I feel really bad for you I know it's easy to say keep your chin up, but that really sucks that you're left alone.

Well, you're not alone .. I work in aged care and alot of elderly residents are also left alone on Xmas day too So I really empathise.

 

[mysterious_jen]

I have just spent my 6th xmas in a row totally on my own. I cant help but think noboday gives a shit about me.
EVERYONE knows i am on my own on xmas day, yet no family or so called freinds ask me round for xmas day.
My ex never offers to take my kids over to spend a few hours with me on xmas day and i cant go there coz of her boyfriend.
Not ONE of the so called mates i mentioned earlier even had the time to text me a xmas message.
The thing is...when the boot is on the other foot, and one of my freinds was facing xmas on his own, I made him come to spend the day with me (and at the time, my family) rather than face being on his own.
Result is, i become all over analytical, and cant help but come to the conclusion that nobody gives a shit about me really, as everyone in my life seems to be ignorant bastards. Do you think that is an unresonable appraisal of the situation?

dude mabey you need to go give of yourself with those less fortuante at a homless shelter or something?
you can learn many lessons about what you truly have to be thankful for.

 

[gman]

dude mabey you need to go give of yourself with those less fortuante at a homless shelter or something?
you can learn many lessons about what you truly have to be thankful for.

Jen...I have actually BEEN homless at xmas....in fact...it was one of the 6 xmas's i reffered to. Still nobody came through for me. I have good freinds...but they are a bit thoughtless and wrapped up in their own worlds. Still not a nice feeling tho.

 

[JanuaryStar]

It really sucks to spend Christmas alone... That's all I can say, really. If your friends/family know you're alone at Christmas and they don't even bother to invite you/come around, then I agree that's thoughtless...